The Donovans Return to Salem
by Ms.Days
Summary: Can a daughter's disdain for her father bring together Kimberly and Shane, her estranged parents? If reunited, can Kim and Shane's love prevail? Find out when Jeannie Donovan comes to Salem.
1. Chapter 1

She pushed open the door and it was like stepping into the past. As she surveyed the pub, she was flooded with memories of another time when the pub was another place. Brady's Pub was once Brady's Fish Market and in place of the long copper-topped bar there once stood a fish counter loaded with the day's catch. Where aisles of fish seasonings and spices once stood, there were now booths and tables, almost every one of them occupied with a lunch-time crowd happily eating chowder and drinking ale.

She smiled as she looked around the pub and was pleased to see it so crowded and lively but it also made her sad. Kimberly Brady had grown up at the fish market and seeing it gone was another reminder of all that had changed and all that she had lost.

For a moment Kim closed her eyes as if she could shake off the melancholy that enveloped her. When she opened them, her father had stepped into the pub from the kitchen and was holding court behind the bar. Pop, as she always called him, was much older and grayer than Kim remembered. But he was still tall, so tall people use to question how he could have a daughter as small and petite as Kim. Then suddenly there was a shriek and the answer to that question came running from the kitchen.

"Kim!" Caroline said rushing to hug her. "We weren't expecting you until tonight."

"I know Mama," Kim said returning the hug, "I had a chance to catch an earlier flight so I grabbed it."

"Well, look at you, the big-time best-selling author."

"Oh Mama," Kim shrugged.

"Now, now," Caroline shook her head, "Don't brush it off. We're all so proud of you, especially your papa and me."

Kim smiled to herself. Even after all these years, pleasing her parents and making them proud was still important to her. That was what made her pursue an advanced degree when she moved to Los Angeles in the first place. After getting her PhD. in Psychology, Kim had enjoyed a thriving practice in counseling, focusing mainly on sexual abuse cases. Then two years ago she wrote a self-help book, You Can Be Happy, that was well-received, even landing her on the cable network talk show circuit. She thought it was a fluke and attributed most of the success to being married to a Hollywood producer. But now her second book, Don't Tell Anyone, a novel about child abuse was getting a lot of attention and landing on all the national best-seller lists. Kim thought that maybe, finally, she had done something right.

"Oh Kimmie," her father squealed in his Irish brogue, still thick after all these years living in Salem. He picked her up and hugged her tightly to him and Kim remembered how safe she always felt wrapped in his arms. Only one other person's arms could make her feel this safe, Kim thought, but quickly shook her head, not letting her mind go there. "You sit down and I'll bring you a nice big bowl of chowder."

Just then the pub door opened and a tall, dark haired woman pushing a stroller walked in. "Hope, over here," Caroline waved. "Look who arrived early!"

Hope was one of Kim's best friends and was married to her brother Bo which made her family too. She rushed over and soon Kim and Hope were catching up with each other over steaming bowls of chowder.

"Look at you. I can't believe you and Bo have a baby. And such a beauty," Kim gushed. "Obviously takes after her mother."

Laughing, Hope said, "Tell me about your children?"

"Children? Hardly. Andrew has taken a year off from his studies at Cambridge and is gallivanting about Europe. He's very continental. Wonder where he gets that from?" Kim said with a knowing glance. "And Jeannie … she's bright, boy-crazy and angry at me right now. Typical seventeen-year-old behavior, I guess. She and Phillip were very close and she's taken the divorce very hard."

"I was sorry to hear about it, Kim," Hope said sympathetically. "You two seemed happy."

"We were," Kim paused, "at times. I overlooked the first affair, actually accepted some of the blame for it, too. But I couldn't overlook the second one."

The baby started to fuss and Hope excused herself to get a bottle. This gave Kim time to reflect on what she just said. She remembered that ugly scene almost ten years before when she discovered Phillip's first affair with that nasty starlet. They flung hurtful words at each other but Kim couldn't deny Phillip's final accusation.

"_Maybe I've been physically unfaithful to you but you've been emotionally unfaithful to me from the beginning. I've never had your entire heart, Kim" he said, his voice heavy with defeat._

"_That's not true," Kim lied._

"_I see the way you look at him when he comes in town for the children. Or how your face lit up when he visited last Christmas. I love you Kim and I'm sorry for the affair but you need to commit to me and this marriage."_

It was after this Kim told Shane Donovan, her first husband and father of her children, that from now on, he should only communicate with the children. She explained that they were old enough to deal directly with him and it was better for his relationship with them if she were not involved. Shane argued a bit but Kim was firm and she cringed remembering the sadness in his voice as he accepted her decision.

"Kim?" Hope had come back and startled Kim out of her dream-like state. "So, now that you're unattached, are you going to call him?" Hope asked knowing they both knew she meant Shane.

"Oh no. I haven't talked to Shane in almost ten years and I'm not about to start now. I have my career and my children. The last thing I need in my life is to see Shane Donovan," she stated emphatically.

At the same time, an ocean away in a manor house in Cotswold, England, a cell phone was ringing.

"Shane Donovan here."

"We need you to monitor a situation in Salem ASAP." With that, Shane Donovan, English gentleman and ISA agent was on a plane to the United States.


	2. Chapter 2

From the sounds of laughter and cheers escaping through the door, it was obvious Brady's Pub was far from empty; in spite of the neon _closed_ sign blinking in the window. Inside the pub, all the Brady's still residing in Salem had gathered. The night following Kim's arrival, Shawn and Caroline had hastily organized a family reunion to welcome Kim home.

Sitting around the large table in the middle of the room were Kim's older brother Roman, then her younger sister Kayla. Besides Kayla was her husband Steve, himself recently returned from a long, unplanned absence. Next to Steve was Hope holding baby Ciara, then Bo, Kim, Marlena and John Black whom Kim still thought of as a brother, too. At the head of the table sat Shawn and Caroline, both visibly moved by this family gathering. The rest of the tables in the pub were occupied by all the Brady grandchildren and their spouses.

"Ahem, can I have everyone's attention," Roman said, raising a glass. "My father has suddenly lost his gift for gab, and has asked me to make a toast." Everyone laughed because Shawn was known never to be at a loss for words.

"First we want to welcome my dear sister home and toast her success. Kim, your talents are boundless!" Everyone tapped their glasses together and looked towards Kim who shyly looked down, never being one comfortable with attention. "Pop wants everyone to know," Roman continued, "how much pleasure it gives him and Ma to finally have all their children together again so let's toast the united Brady's."

Cheers roared throughout the pub as everyone toasted each other. Kim got up from her place and started roaming the room, reacquainting herself with nieces and nephews she realized she hardly knew. Bo came up behind her and said in a low whisper, "Sis, can I talk to you for a minute, privately."

"Sure, what's up?" she asked as they moved to the other side of the pub, away from the crowd.

"Yesterday, at the airport, did you see anything unusual or suspicious?"

Kim looked at him quizzically and shrugged. "No, not that I can remember. Why?"

"There's a possible situation developing here. And I'm concerned someone may have arrived in Salem the same time you did. So if you remember seeing anything out-of-the-ordinary, anyone who looked suspicious, be sure to let me know. Okay?"

"Yes sir," Kim saluted playfully, just like Bo remembered she used to do with a certain ISA agent. For a moment, Bo thought of telling her that Shane was coming to Salem but decided against it. From what Hope had shared with him about her conversation with Kim, Bo decided it was best to keep Shane's visit a secret, at least for now. He would see him tomorrow at the station and maybe he could find out from Shane what was going on between him and his sister.

* * *

Kim slept in the next morning. The last couple of days had been busy and she definitely could use the extra hours of sleep. Soon she'd be leaving on a book tour and from past experience, she knew those schedules were always grueling. 

Suddenly Kim remembered seeing something unusual at the airport. A woman pushing an empty baby carriage had circled the terminal several times. When Kim had bumped into her at the taxi stand, she had seemed extremely nervous. It might be nothing but Kim decided she should share it with Bo. She threw back the covers. A visit to the Salem P.D. was in order.

* * *

The squad room was a whirlwind of activity but the corner office belonging to Captain Bo Brady was unusually quiet. The door was shut and the blinds drawn. Inside the office, a reunion was taking place. 

"It's good to see you Gove'ner." Bo used the old familiar nickname he gave to Shane Donovan so many years ago.

"Look at you. The impulsive, unpredictable Bo Brady a captain in the police department!" Shane shook his head incredulously.

"Hey, I'm still impulsive and unpredictable," Bo said defensively, and then continued, "John should be here soon and then we can start."

Shane started milling about the room and had his back to Bo when Bo decided to take a chance and said, "Kim's in Salem. I thought you should know."

Shane slowly turned around and asked pensively, "Does she know I'm here?"

"No, but I think she should."

Shane turned and walked to the window shaking his head over and over again. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

At the same time, just outside the office door, John Black was gathering some files and preparing to go into Bo's office when Kim came rushing in.

"John, is Bo still here?" She asked trying to catch her breath. "I remembered something that might be important."

"Sure Kim. I'm just about to meet with him. Come on in," he said as he opened the office door.

Kim hurried into the office and then stopped suddenly, feeling her breath leave her body. There standing in front of her was Shane Donovan.


	3. Chapter 3

Kim stood frozen, staring at the one man who could make her heart race. And it was certainly racing this time. Kim felt like it was going to jump out of her chest. She hadn't seen or spoken to Shane Donovan in almost ten years. This was the last place, here in Salem, in Bo Brady's office, that Kim expected to see him. Then he looked up and held her gaze. "Hello Kimberly."

"Hi Shane," Kim replied feeling her mouth go dry.

An uncomfortable silence hung in the room until Bo finally broke in, "Kim you remembered some..."

"It can wait," Kim interrupted. "I didn't know you were having a meeting. I'm sorry for barging in." Desperate to get out of the room, Kim fumbled her way out the door practically tripping over a chair.

"Excuse me gentlemen," Shane said to Bo and John as he followed Kim out of the office.

"Hey. What? Don't they see each other?" A confused John asked Bo who was shaking his head and rolling his eyes

Outside the office, Kim was almost running, foolishly trying to flee the inevitable meeting, when she heard that unmistakable English accent behind her. "Kimberly wait."

Knowing he would soon catch up, Kim stopped in her tracks and slowly turned around. There he was in front of her again. This time, Kim took a good look at him. He still had the same full head of hair, now streaked with gray, and there were a few more lines around his eyes and mouth. Then his face broke out in the most radiant smile and Kim had to catch her breath. God he was gorgeous, she thought. "I didn't know you were in Salem."

"There's no reason you should," he replied. "It's not like we keep in touch." Kim thought the last comment had a twinge of sarcasm to it but then he continued warmly, "How have you been Kim?"

"Good. How about you?" Kim tried to sound casual, hoping to cover her nervousness.

"Just fine. Is Jeannie with you?"

"No, she had to stay home and finish school," Kim explained, "then chose to stay in L.A. through the summer with friends."

Shane tried to hide his disappointment and then said more brightly, "Why don't we make this unexpected meeting of ours a reunion of sorts? I'll be done shortly. Can we have lunch?"

"Uh, no it won't work. I-I already have plans," Kim stammered then paused, "with Kayla."

There was another awkward silence as the name hung between them like a sharp thorn neither was willing to touch. But Shane was undaunted. It had been almost ten years since he had seen or spoken to Kim and in that time he had really missed her and mourned the emptiness her absence had brought. He was determined to get together with her now and would do anything to sway her. "How about dinner then? Tonight?" Kim hesitated, torn between actually wanting to see him and absolutely wanting to avoid him. "Then how about tomorrow night?" he persisted. "You can't be busy both nights."

"I'm not sure it's a good idea."

Shane smiled remembering those were the exact words he said to Bo not five minutes ago. "Please Kim. I'd really like to talk with you," he implored, almost holding his breath. "Tomorrow night?"

"All right, tomorrow night," Kim relented. "I'll meet you at the New Salem Inn at 7."

Shane let out a huge sigh of relief. "Good. I'll see you tomorrow," With that, he turned and headed back to Bo's office, leaving Kim to wonder if she had made the right decision.


	4. Chapter 4

There was no mistaking Kim and Kayla for sisters. Sitting across from each other in their booth at Alice's Café, one couldn't help but notice their similarities. They were blonde, very beautiful, and successful. That wasn't how it always was. Growing up, Kayla had felt overshadowed by what she considered her prettier, more vivacious sister; the one her father dubbed 'the best and the brightest'. As adults, that had changed and Kim and Kayla had come to depend on each other and developed a close bond. They were sisters and best friends, foolish enough to think nothing, or no one, could ever come between them.

Mrs. Horton, the proprietress of Alice's Café and a family friend came up to take their order but first remarked, "It's so nice to see you girls together again."

After ordering salads, Kayla sighed, "Do you think there's anyone in Salem who's forgotten our past?"

"Well, to complicate matters," Kim ventured reluctantly, "Shane's in town."

Kayla looked at her sister astonished as Kim continued, "I barged in on a meeting he was having with Bo and John. Must be some ISA thing. He wants to have dinner."

With measured words, Kayla said, "You know, he didn't really love me."

"Is that so? You could have fooled me." Kim immediately regretted her curt tone.

"We fooled a lot of people Kim, but mainly ourselves."

The salads arrived then and Kim and Kayla welcomed the interruption, neither eager to continue with their conversation.

Kim remembered the unbearable pain that had made her flee to L.A. the first time. She thought back to how she and Shane had drifted apart when she found out she was pregnant with Jeannie and was tricked into believing it was Cal Winter's child. Even though Shane had been presumed dead on that awful ISA mission, Kim could never forgive herself for sleeping with Cal. It was another mistake in a long series of mistakes that Kim seemed to repeatedly make. The shame of her betrayal was too much to bear so she fled to L.A. and divorced Shane.

Kim shuddered as she remembered how that unbearable pain could not compare to the immense hurt she felt when she returned with the children to Salem, hoping to reconcile with Shane. Instead, she found Shane had fallen in love with Kayla. Her sister and best friend had become a stranger to her and a rival for Shane's affection. Kim closed her eyes remembering the terrible arguments with both Shane and Kayla. Even finding out Jeannie was truly Shane's daughter was not enough to reunite them. In the end, Kim lost the love of her life and fled again to L.A. to rebuild her broken life.

For the rest of the lunch, Kim and Kayla kept the conversation light-hearted, talking mostly about work and family. Their earlier discussion had veered into emotional territory and neither felt comfortable going back there again. But, as they were going out the door, Kayla grabbed Kim's wrist and said before parting, "Don't let your pride prevent you from having something wonderful again."

Walking back to the pub in the warm sunshine, Kim thought about her relationship with her sister. It had taken a lot of time and effort to mend fences. After breaking up with Shane, Kayla had joined Kim in L.A. with her daughter Stephanie and it was being single mothers depending on each other that helped them get over the anger and hurt. While Kim had pursued her PhD. degree, Kayla had gone to medical school and the combination of parenting and schooling further helped to rebuild their bond.

Kim knew it really wasn't her sister who ended her relationship with Shane. If it hadn't been Kayla, it would have been something else. There were always obstacles when it came to Shane. Even though other people got in the way, Kim realized the real obstacles to their relationship were themselves. Kim always feared Shane could never love her no matter what and Shane, no matter how hard he tried, never knew how to really win Kim's trust. In the end, Kim accepted that she and Shane were not fated to be together. "I'll have dinner with him," Kim said to herself, "and that will be that." She was determined to put him back in the corner of her heart and once again move on with her life.


	5. Chapter 5

Pushing open the door to the New Salem Inn, Kim took a deep breath, not certain if tonight was going to be an evening of warm nostalgia or painful memories. After giving her name to the maitre d', Kim was told the other party had not yet arrived and was then shown to the table. She was glad for the few extra moments she had to compose herself.

Kim chastised herself for being so nervous. "Come on girl. It's a simple dinner with your ex-husband," she reminded herself. "Then why did it take me three hours to get dressed," she wondered. First she had put her hair up, and then pulled it back before finally deciding to let it fall softly to her shoulders. After trying on three different outfits, she settled on a simple sapphire silk suit that brought out the blue in her eyes. Glancing in the mirror as she headed out, Kim was pleased with the results. Always one to be self-critical, she was now thankful she had upped her twice-a-week pilates and yoga classes. And unlike her friends in L.A. who kept their plastic surgeons on speed dial, Kim's natural beauty still shone.

She gazed about the room, totally rebuilt and furnished like the original Salem Inn, the place where she first set eyes on one Captain Shane Donovan. He had been the dashing secret agent sent to spy on her, she the unsuspecting prostitute desperate to change her ways. Meeting Shane had allowed her to do just that. She shuddered to think what a mess her life would be if she had not met him.

As she was daydreaming about their first meeting, Shane walked into the dining room and cast his eyes upon her. "God, she's as beautiful as I remember," he said to himself. Here he was, gray streaking his hair, wrinkles starting to line his face and the beginnings of a middle-age paunch that no amount of working out seemed able to prevent. And she hadn't changed since the first time he laid eyes on her, spying through a telescope into her apartment.

Sighing, he crossed the room and startled Kim out of her reverie. "Hello Kimberly." Looking up, she put out her hand to greet him and for the first time in ten years, they touched. It was almost as if a bolt of electricity surged through both of them. Taking a seat across from her, he apologized for being late. "They changed the exit on the highway to this place."

"I know. If Pop hadn't told me, I would have been late, too. So many things have changed."

"Yes, they have," Shane sighed. "But you look the same Kim, just wonderful."

"Thanks. You do too," Kim said self-consciously.

"So tell me, what brings you back to Salem?"

"A book tour. I'm an author, now," Kim said proudly.

"Uh, yes, Andrew told me. I actually read your first book," Shane smiled. "Haven't seen the second one though. It hasn't made it to England yet." Hesitating, he said plaintively, "Andrew also told me about Phillip. I'm sorry."

"Guess I'm not the marriage-type," Kim stated uneasily.

Holding her gaze, he said simply, "That's not true."

They ordered wine and dinner and settled into an evening of easy conversation. Kim had forgotten how effortless it was to talk to Shane. The ten years apart seemed to disappear as the conversation flowed from one topic to another. First they talked about Kim's upcoming book tour and Shane was genuinely impressed. Then he filled her in on his latest ISA assignment, at least as much as he could share. Over coffee and dessert, the conversation turned to Andrew and Jeannie.

Andrew attending college in England was a blessing to Shane. He would often meet his son in London or Paris, or Andrew would drive up to Donovan Manor for the weekends. Shane cherished this renewed connection with his son. His daughter, Jeannie, though was another matter. He hardly saw her.

"Kim, I've seen Jeannie maybe 3 or 4 times in the past ten years."

"Oh Shane, I'm sure it's been more often than that." Kim tried to remember exactly when the last time Jeannie visited her father was.

Shaking his head he continued, "And I rarely talk to her on the phone."

"Shane, she's a teenager. Right now, it's all about boys, clothes, and what the girl next to you said behind your back. She's been upset about the divorce, too," Kim reasoned. "I'm sure that's part of it."

"No, this started long before your divorce. It's like she's purposely avoiding me."

"I'll talk to her when I get back to L.A. Then she'll call you, you'll get together, and all will be fine," Kim reassured him. "Now I better get going. I'm expecting an early morning call from my publisher."

Shane reached for the check. "I need to go, too. I'm heading to the house tomorrow."

Kim's eyes widened. "Our house?" she asked, immediately regretting her choice of words.

"Yes, it's part of my real estate portfolio. Would you like to join me and see the old place?"

"Sure," she answered, unable to hide her eagerness.

"Good. Then I'll pick you up at 11. I'll bring a basket and we can have lunch out there."

Driving home, Kim realized her well-laid plans of one dinner with Shane and nothing more had vanished. But the prospect of seeing her former home, the site of so many memories, was too much to resist, even if it meant another day with Shane Donovan.


	6. Chapter 6 revise

When Kim told her father she had plans to see Shane again, Shawn almost broke into an Irish jig. He was always fond of Shane and thought him a perfect match for his Kimmie; much better than that flashy Phillip fellow she had married. So when Shane stepped into the pub to pick Kim up, Shawn was immediately upon him with a big bear hug. "Shane, my boy, it's so good to see you."

Shane warmly returned the hug. He had always been considered an honorary Brady and having lost his own family, Shane prized the attention both Shawn and Caroline bestowed upon him. Next to losing Kim, Shane thought losing the Brady's as family was one of the most sorrowful things to happen to him.

"Kimberly's on the phone with that publisher of hers. She'll be just a minute. Can I get you a coffee?" Shawn was beaming but he didn't care. He'd been waiting a long time for this. Heck, he'd been waiting 15 years.

"No, I'm fine Shawn."

"So you and Kim are heading to your old house. Bet that will stir up some old memo—"

"Pop!" Kim stepped into the pub, eyeing Shane. He just grinned back at her, amused at Shawn's blatant matchmaking.

Kim grabbed her jacket and headed for the door with Shane following close behind. "I'll be back in time for dinner, Pop." Hearing this, Shane was disappointed for he had hoped to parlay their day together to include dinner. He had enjoyed last evening so much, he wasn't ready to relinquish one minute with Kim.

Other than remarking on the weather, the car ride was unusually quiet, as if Kim was intentionally not talking. Driving, Shane glanced out the corner of his eye to look at her. Kim was looking straight ahead but for an instant she glanced sideways and caught him staring at her. They both quickly looked away. "Damn," Shane said to himself. Last night had been all easy conversation and today, uncomfortable silence. What had changed, he wondered.

Kim kept looking straight ahead, intent on not meeting Shane's gaze again. She had tossed and turned in bed going over last night's dinner conversation and what had led her to be here with him once more. The dinner had been pleasant, Kim conceded, but she had been determined that it would be one evening only. Then he sprang this unanticipated house visit on her and here she was again, with him. She couldn't risk letting her guard down. "No siree, Shane Donovan," she said to herself, "I'll be more careful next time."

The car made the final turn into the gravel driveway and through the rows of sun-dappled red maple trees Kim caught sight of the house, her house. It was exactly as she remembered, with its stately columns and grand balustrade. "Oh Shane, it hasn't changed one bit," she exclaimed feeling her guard begin to slip away.

Shane pulled to a stop at the front of the house and hurried around to open Kim's door. "Come on. Let's check out the inside."

Stepping through the door, Kim was again struck by how little had changed. A few of the furnishings had been moved or replaced but, other than a thick layer of dust, everything appeared the same. "I can't believe you kept this place all these years."

"It was a good investment," Shane lied. How could he explain that he couldn't part with this house, the one she found and so lovingly furnished and decorated? Every room reminded him of Kim. "Most of the time, it's been rented. Just the last few months it's been vacant."

Shane stood in the foyer and watched as Kim walked through the main level of the house, allowing her hands to glide over the backs of chairs and across tables. Occasionally she paused to pick up some of the many treasured objects that decorated the rooms. She looked across the foyer and met Shane's gaze bearing down on her. Then her eyes fell upon the fireplace where they had made love so many times, and the staircase in the foyer where he had so often carried her to bed.

She was overwhelmed with emotion and would have bolted from the room if Shane had not interrupted, as if he sensed her discomfort, and suggested they head to the garden for lunch.

"I always loved this house," Kim said picking at her sandwich. Shane had laid a blanket down in a clearing by the garden and he and Kim were having their picnic surrounded by a spectacular array of flowers in vivid shades of pink and rose. Shane thought he really needed to commend his groundskeeper for a job well-done. But who to commend for the brilliant blue sky or the warm, gentle breeze? Somehow Shane knew that his world took on a whole new luster when Kim was in it.

"I especially loved it here at Christmas," Kim mused. "Do you remember that first Christmas you visited us in L.A?"

"I remember all my visits with you," he said wistfully.

Kim shyly cast her eyes down. "Well, this was Christmas and I was feeling really depressed because there was no snow, no chill in the air. I mean compared to Salem, it felt like a fake Christmas. Then you came with an entire miniature Christmas scene to build, complete with snowflakes. Do you remember?" she asked looking up. "You and Andrew worked on it for hours."

Shane nodded and looked at her intently. "I remember."

**Christmas, 1996**

_The taxi followed a twisted road, rising higher and higher as it curved through the canyon drive. Shane looked out the window watching the Los Angeles skyline fade beneath a thick layer of smog. But ahead it was clear, with the mountains and canyons creating a welcoming view. _

_Shane was still not sure he had made the right decision in coming to L.A. for Christmas. When Kim had suggested it, Shane at first balked, certain she didn't need an ex-husband joining in the Collier family festivities. But Kim was insistent and soon Shane was agreeing to the visit. After all, he reasoned, he missed his children and really wanted to see them. As the weeks drew close, he reminded himself of that excuse over and over again. But who was he kidding? Shane missed her. _

_The taxi took a final turn up a long drive before coming to a stop in front of a contemporary-styled Beverly Hills mansion. It was large and impressive, rivaling even Donovan Manor in size. Shane stepped out of the taxi and paid the driver then reached back for his suitcase and a shopping bag overstuffed with brightly wrapped presents. Exhaling slowly, Shane walked up the stone path with apprehension. Reaching the massive double doors, Shane paused before grabbing the elaborate door knocker._

_Almost immediately a prim-looking woman who Shane suspected was the housekeeper answered the door and led him into the living room. Shane looked around nervously, once again having second thoughts about coming. "Mrs. Collier is expecting you," the housekeeper said firmly, peering at him with a piercing gaze. Shane felt foolishly uncomfortable under her inspecting eye, certain she was looking him over as if comparing Kim's two husbands. "She's taking a call but will be here momentar –"_

"_Daddy!" There was a clatter of heels hitting marble floors as Jeannie streaked around the corner and ran into her father's arms. Shane lifted his daughter high into the air and twirled her around, then held her close to him in a tight hug. He felt a pang in his heart as he stroked her long silken blonde hair. "I've missed you so much Daddy."_

_Before Shane could answer, there was another voice. "We've all missed you." Shane felt his pulse start to race and slowly turned around to face her. There she stood smiling warmly at him. "Shane, it's so good to see you," Kim said holding her arms out to him._

_Shane lowered Jeannie to the floor and in one stride reached Kim. Under the watchful eye of the housekeeper, he leaned in and softly placed a kiss on Kim's cheek. "It's good to see you, too"_

_Kim noticed the housekeeper staring. "Olivia, why don't you take Mr. Donovan's bags to the guest room." Shane was relieved to finally see Olivia and her disapproving glare depart. "There, now she'll have something to gossip about," Kim laughed, slipping her arm through Shane's and guiding him towards the patio. "Are you hungry? I thought we could have supper out here."_

_The term patio was an understatement as Kim and Shane stepped out onto a massive terraced garden. An Olympic-sized pool dominated the space with tennis courts set farther back. At the bottom of the steps, near the pool was a glass dining table and Shane was surprised to see it set for four. "Phillip's working late but Andrew will be home soon," Kim explained. Although Shane knew he didn't have any right to feel this way, he was grateful Phillip wouldn't be home for a while allowing him some time to spend alone with his family._

_Kim reached for Shane's hand. "Come on, let me show you around the place." _

_When Andrew arrived home a little later, he and Shane worked on a miniature Christmas scene Shane had picked up in the Orient, taking a break only for dinner. So it wasn't surprising that Andrew was eager to continue working on it. "Dad, can't we work on it some more? Please?"_

"_Andrew," Kim admonished, "let your father be. I'm sure he's tired from his long flight." Shane had come straight to L.A. from an assignment in Thailand and although the flight was tiring, Shane truly felt rejuvenated being with his family._

"_No, it's my turn," Jeannie whined. "Daddy said he'd watch the tape of my dance recital." _

_The two siblings started to bicker, forcing Kim to step in with a firm tone. "You two can stop arguing right now. It's late so both of you can head off to bed." _

"_I promise, tomorrow we'll finish the Christmas scene," Shane assured Andrew before turning to Jeannie, "and I'll definitely watch your dance recital, too." Kissing their father goodnight, Andrew and Jeannie trudged off with their heads bowed in defeat._

_As the children disappeared around the corner, Phillip arrived, hurriedly rushing down the steps. He reached out to shake Shane's hand. "So how's the spy business, Shane."_

_Shane fought back a quick stab of jealousy as he watched Phillip lean down and kiss Kimberly. There was a moment of awkward silence before Shane answered, "Doing my best. The world's turning into a dangerous place."_

_Phillip stepped behind the patio bar and poured himself a drink. He gestured with the bottle towards Shane but Shane, waving his hand, declined. "Well, do tell us all about your adventures. Kim and I would love to hear about them." Shane couldn't help but notice that Phillip said Kim's name with a hint of sarcasm. It didn't take a spy to figure out that his presence here wasn't unanimously welcomed. Phillip's tone, along with Olivia's constant glare, led Shane to surmise that there had been much discussion about his visit, and not all of it was positive. _

_Shane cleared his voice and swallowed hard before starting to tell them about his latest venture in Thailand. Kim smiled in gratitude at him and only her reassuring gaze encouraged him to share some tales._

_After feigning interest and polishing off his third drink, Phillip stood up and with an exaggerated yawn announced, "I really need to turn in. I've got to wake up early tomorrow." He turned to Kim to punctuate his point. "Especially if you want me home early for Christmas Eve."_

_Shane, too, stood up and Phillip turned his attention back to him. "It's been good seeing you, Shane, and we'll talk more tomorrow." Stepping away from the table, he looked pointedly at Kim. "Are you coming dear?"_

"_I thought I'd stay with our guest," Kim replied, "Until he's ready to turn in."_

_Phillip smiled at Kimberly. "I'm sure Shane wouldn't mind a few moments of solitude, right old boy?"_

_Noticing the tension and not wanting to be the cause of anymore, Shane immediately dismissed Kim's offer. "I have a few phone calls to make and emails to answer. Then I'll be heading off to bed soon, too. No reason to keep me company."_

_Kim bit her lip. "Are you sure?"_

"_I'm sure."_

_Kim hesitated a moment and then followed Phillip towards the terraced steps. She turned around for one fleeting glance back at Shane before Phillip slipped his arm possessively around her waist and lead her up the steps. Watching them disappear into the house, Shane wondered once again if the ache in his heart would ever fade away._

_*************************************************_

"Shane?" Through layers of daydreaming, Shane heard Kim's voice say his name. He shook away the images filling his mind and turned his attention back to Kim.

"I was just thinking." Then, as if knowing the mood needed lightening, Shane offered lightheartedly, "What I also remember is that was the visit you fixed me up."

"That's right, with the actress."

"Is that what she did?" Shane said mockingly. "Her name was some city or place. Bulgaria, Sicily or something like that."

"Barcelona," Kim corrected. "If you had played your cards right, you could be walking the red carpet in Cannes right now."

"I highly doubt Ms. Barcelona is anywhere near the red carpet."

They both broke out into laughter and Shane thought to himself how much he missed hearing Kim's laugh.

Changing the subject, Kim told Shane how her publisher called to postpone her book tour for several weeks. "It actually works out well. Gives me time to go home and be with Jeannie."

"Kim, I have an idea. I need to stay in Salem for this assignment. And your book tour has been postponed. Why don't you have Jeannie come to Salem and join you here?" He acted as though he just thought of this when in fact, Shane had thought of little else since first seeing Kim at the police station.

"I don't know," Kim hesitated.

"Kim, I really need to reconnect with Jeannie and it would be so much easier if you were around," he reasoned. "You and Jeannie can stay here in the house. I'll stay out in the guest house."

Kim sighed in defeat, realizing that once again she had let her guard down and actually walked right into this situation. "All right, I'll have Jeannie come to Salem for the rest of the summer."

As they drove away, Kim looked back at the house and wondered why in all matters concerning Shane Donovan she was so weak. Deep down, she knew the answer but wasn't ready to admit to it.


	7. Chapter 7

Shane had wanted to accompany Kim to the airport to pick Jeannie up but Kim had convinced him that she needed a little girl-time with her first. She intentionally left out the part that Jeannie was furious about coming to Salem to spend the rest of her summer. Her exact words were, "Just another way to ruin my life, Mother," which Kim knew was a reference to the divorce.

Kim waited, filled with apprehension, in baggage claim. Thankfully, it was a short wait before Kim saw Jeannie step through the gate marked ARRIVALS. She was an extremely pretty girl, so pretty that a few older men who should have known better did double takes as she walked by. But Jeannie hardly noticed and certainly would not have cared. She was the kind of person who walked with assurance, always exuding a high level of confidence, traits she obviously inherited from her father. She did have her mother's coloring with long, silky blond hair that fell in waves past her shoulders, but in every other way she resembled her father right down to the hazel green eyes. Kim often marveled how she could have ever thought Jeannie could be anyone's but Shane's.

When Jeannie got closer, Kim could see the journey had not improved her daughter's disposition. After a hug that seemed more obligatory than heartfelt, Kim advised, "You better remove that sullen look from your face and improve your sour mood."

Jeannie stood with her arms crossed; impatiently tapping her Prada-sandaled foot. "I'm sorry Mother, but I was having fun with my friends. That is until you decided it's a good idea I come to Salem and get to know him better."

Kim let out a long breath. "First of all, _he_ is your father and it is a good idea."

"Whatever you say. I'm here, aren't I?" Jeannie grabbed the handle of her luggage and set off in a huff towards the parking garage. Kim stood watching her daughter walk away, wondering once more if this visit was a good idea.

The drive home was long and made more tiring by Jeannie's angry mood. There was very little talk between them, with Jeannie giving mostly short, curt answers to Kim's queries. Kim could feel a headache coming on and she couldn't wait to get home yet at the same time she dreaded it. She feared Shane was expecting some warm reception and considering Jeannie's foul mood, it was going to be anything but pleasant.

Pulling into the driveway, Kim noticed Jeannie's eye's widen in awe. "Pretty, isn't it?"

Catching herself, Jeannie replied with indifference, "It's nice, but I liked our house in Beverly Hills better."

Just then Shane rushed up to the car and greeted them. There was an awkward hug between father and daughter as Shane remarked, "Look how much you've grown." Jeannie just shrugged her shoulders and glared, as Kim and Shane exchanged uncomfortable glances.

Shane carried the luggage into the house and explained the sleeping arrangements to a still angry Jeannie. Unsure what to make of her apparent belligerence, Shane decided to forego the afternoon tea he had set on the terrace and instead sent Jeannie out to look over the grounds. He then turned to Kim and cleared his throat. "Well, that was pleasant. I always seem to have angry teenage daughters thrust upon me."

"Whose fault is that?" Kim asked, a bit indignant.

"You were the one who said it was better if _we_ stopped seeing each other," Shane said accusingly.

Kim couldn't believe the audacity of his last comment. "Yes, _us, _not you and them. The children were old enough to get together with you, without me around." Kim was tired and all she wanted to do was soak in a hot tub but she wasn't going to allow Shane to place the blame for this on her. "How about that Easter break you cancelled on them?"

"I had an unexpected assignment to take care of."

"I know, ISA always interfering, always out of Shane Donovan's control." Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "You get an assignment and you miss Andrew's confirmation and then for good measure, Jeannie's too. How about that ski trip in Switzerland or the African safari you promised to take them on."

"Andrew seems to have understood."

"Of course Andrew would. He was a young boy and his father was a secret agent. You going on missions were the coolest things imaginable to him. Jeannie was much more sensitive and more disappointed," Kim argued back, remembering, though, that each time Shane cancelled, Jeannie actually seemed more relieved than disappointed.

"All right, you've made your point," he said sharply. "It was just easier when _we_ all got together."

"Well, _we_ were divorced and I had a marriage to look after."

The last comment was met with silence as Shane understood the full meaning of what Kim had said. He had wanted to be a part of her life in spite of her marriage to Phillip and now he could see that he hadn't really been or at least hadn't had a right to be. His shoulders sagged in defeat as this realization sank in and he knew there was nothing more to discuss. He turned on his heels leaving Kim shaking her head and clenching her fists. "I really need that bath," Kim said to herself as she headed upstairs.


	8. Chapter 8

The horses were whinnying in the stall and Shane looked at his watch once more. Jeannie was now forty minutes late and Shane's patience was wearing thin. He had arranged to have these horses available after asking Jeannie if she would like to go on an afternoon ride. She had initially hesitated and Shane knew it must have been Kim's prodding that caused Jeannie to call back and say horseback riding would be fine.

It had been a week since Jeannie arrived in Salem and in that time, she and Shane had barely exchanged a few words. Shane would ask about school or friends and Jeannie would politely respond with a word or two. When Kim mentioned that Jeannie liked to ride, Shane thought that would be a wonderful way for them to connect, that is if she showed.

As Shane looked at his watch again, Jeannie trudged into the stable. "Sorry I'm late. I was on the phone and forgot the time."

Shane looked up at Jeannie and for a moment thought he was looking back in time, to another stable and another reluctant rider. "That's okay. I had things to do here in the stable while I waited," Shane lied. "So choose your horse and let's get riding.

Jeannie chose the chestnut mare and expertly mounted it. Without waiting for Shane, she galloped out of the barn and down the trail. "This should be a good ride," Shane said to himself as he hurriedly mounted the other horse and raced after Jeannie, finally catching up with her at the first turn.

After thirty minutes, they slowed the pace and trotted along side each other. Taking a sideways glance at Jeannie, Shane was struck by how much her profile resembled his mother's and he found that family connection pleased him immensely. Jeannie was a natural beauty, too, not overly made-up like so many of the young girls he saw shopping at Salem Place. Kim had done a fine job raising both Jeannie and Andrew, and with very little help from him, as she had so clearly implied the other day. Sadly, Shane realized he couldn't deny there was some truth in what Kim had said. In so many ways, he had been an absent father, always letting the ISA get in the way. When would he ever learn, Shane wondered.

They rode in silence for quite a distance until Shane decided to take a chance at conversation. "You're quite an accomplished rider."

"Thank you," Jeannie responded without looking his way.

Shane cleared his throat and attempted once more to keep the conversation going. "You must have taken a lot of lessons."

"Phillip taught me. He liked to ride and I liked to ride with him," Jeannie said pointedly.

"Well, you're very good. He did a good job teaching you." Shane hoped he didn't sound jealous.

After riding in silence a while longer, Shane ventured to tell Jeannie about Kim's first horseback riding experience. "I took your mother horseback riding on our first date. She had never been on a horse before and certainly was not thrilled at the prospect of getting on one."

"She rides all the time," Jeannie corrected him. "She and Phillip used to ride a lot in the canyons by our house. She's a really good rider."

"I know she is now Jeannie."

Jeannie pulled up on the reigns bringing her horse to a stop and looked directly at Shane as if she wanted to make sure he didn't misunderstand what she was going to say. "Mom and Phillip went horseback riding together all the time. They would go hiking, too. She even got him to rollerblade. And Phillip supported all the fundraisers for her clinic. They did everything together. And he would do anything for her."

From her tone, Shane felt Jeannie was accusing him of something. "Jeannie, until now, I hadn't seen your mother in almost ten years. I did not come between her and Phillip."

Jeannie stared at him for a moment, then tapped the spurs and galloped back to the stable. She was glad Shane chose to keep his distance a few paces behind. All Jeannie could think about was the fight she overheard her mother and Phillip have ten years before. Maybe no one would admit it but Jeannie knew Shane was the real reason behind Kim and Phillip's divorce.

"How was your ride?" Kim asked as Jeannie and Shane walked up to the house.

"Fine," Jeannie mumbled.

"Go get ready for dinner then," she said as Jeannie went into the house and then turned to Shane, "I take it was not all happy trails."

"Hardly. But I did learn life with Phillip was pretty good."

"Oh Shane, I'm sorry. It's going to take time but she'll come around."

"Is that what it's going to take ... time?" Shane asked and Kim didn't think they were talking about Jeannie anymore. "Will time correct all the mistakes that were made?" He held her gaze a moment longer before changing the subject. "Well what should we do for dinner?"

Kim suddenly felt uncomfortable and dinner with Shane was the last thing she needed. "I just remembered Hope said something about Jeannie and me taking in a movie and dinner. You don't mind being on your own?"

"No, of course not." Shane hoped the smile on his face masked his disappointment. "I have a lot of work to do on this assignment anyway. You two go and have fun."

* * *

Shane sat at his computer taking notes on a report that he had already reread several times. His pen hung in mid-air as he tried to recall the last paragraph. He had been distracted all evening and had accomplished very little. Frustrated, he threw his pen down and let out a long breath. All night he couldn't stop thinking about Kim and how uncomfortable he had made her with that last comment of his. 

But that was all he ever dwelled on. How much time would it take for Kimberly to forgive him, really forgive him?

This past week with Kim and Jeannie had been wonderful, despite Jeannie's aloofness. He enjoyed seeing them everyday, especially Kim. He would watch her walking in the garden or catch her having afternoon tea on the terrace. Occasionally Shane would join her and he would relish their talks; it was a warm reminder of what they use to share.

As long as the conversation was about Jeannie and Andrew, Kim was fine but as soon as they drifted into emotional territory like they did this afternoon, Kim would grow quiet or excuse herself, claiming something needed immediate attention.

Shane thought back to the other day, soon after Jeannie had arrived. He had joined Kim on her terrace for tea, anxious to share an email he had just received from Peachy. He leaned back in his chair, letting his mind wander back to that conversation.

"_Dear Peachy, how is she Shane?" Kim inquired her voice full of sincerity._

"_She's doing quite well, living in a retirement home outside of Manchester. I'm sure she has the entire staff doing cartwheels trying to keep her down." Looking directly at Kim, he added, "You know, she really loved you, Kim."_

"_And I loved her. But you know who she really cared about … her laddie," Kim said affectionately._

_Nodding in agreement, Shane confessed, "I suppose she did." Then he added, "She always said you were the best for me."_

_Kim looked away at this comment, then said hurriedly, "Well, I better get moving on."_

"_You don't have to go, Kim."_

"_No, I really need to. I promised Marlena I'd consult on a case with her and I haven't even read the file," Kim explained, trying to sound matter-of-fact. "I really must go."_

Who was he kidding? Kim was putting up walls between them and Shane knew why. He rubbed his temples and squeezed his eyes shut as he remembered their past and knew what he did was unforgivable.

At the time, he hadn't realized how hurt he was from her relationship with Cal Winters. Yes, she thought he was dead, but still he couldn't accept that she had turned to another man so soon. Then, when they thought she was pregnant with Cal's baby, Shane's hurt had turned to anger and he intentionally shut her out until Kim felt she had no choice but to leave.

Still that wasn't enough, Shane shuddered to himself as he remembered what happened next. He and Kayla became close and when Kim returned, he made it very clear that Kayla was the one he loved. He knew he was crushing Kim's heart, with her sister of all people. Although he wouldn't admit it then, the relationship with Kayla was his way of punishing Kim for her mistake with Cal. Shane put his face in his hands and shook at the memory.

Fortunately for Kayla, she realized Shane really didn't love her and they went their separate ways. By the time Kim returned to Salem once again, too much damage had been done to repair their relationship. Shane had hurt her, leaving scars he feared would never heal. She was with Phillip and Shane felt certain that Kim and the children were better off with Phillip than with him. He sadly accepted that his chance for a lifetime of happiness with Kim was gone.

Shane returned to Donovan Manor and his work with the ISA. He repeatedly passed on promotions, preferring fieldwork over a desk job. Even when he got older, Shane still pursued assignments better suited to men half his age. He knew the danger of being out in the field helped him forget his loneliness.

Shane found solace in the time he spent with Kim when he visited the children, even though seeing her with Phillip was excrutiatingly painful. But when she stopped those visits, he truly ached for her company. Over the years, he had other relationships but they would always soon end. Shane still loved Kim beyond measure and no one could fill the void left by her. She was always on his mind. He remembered the feel of her hair between his fingers, the scent of her shoulders as he kissed her, the softness of her skin when he touched her. Kimberly had captured his heart completely and her memory totally consumed him.

Shane went to the window and looked up at the main house. He could see the light on in the living room. It had been about an hour since he heard Kim drive home from what he suspected was a hastily planned outing. He desperately wanted to go and talk with her, if only to ask about the movie. But he knew Kim would not appreciate the intrusion. She was putting up walls and Shane didn't know how to prevent them.

When Andrew had told him about the divorce, Shane held out hope that Kim would call and maybe they could reconnect on some level. But the call never came and Shane realized his time with Kim had passed. What was the hardest to accept, Shane knew, was that he had no one to blame but himself.


	9. Chapter 9

"Mom, I'm going to the beach with Stephanie and Chelsea," Jeannie shouted as she ran out the door. Kim could hear the girls' laughter through the screen and then the sound of a car pulling away on the gravel drive.

A month had passed since Jeannie first arrived and her mood had improved markedly, a change Kim attributed to her friendship with her cousins. Jeannie loved hanging out with Chelsea and Stephanie and her good mood spilled over into her relationship with Shane. Though she still didn't seek out his company, Jeannie was less belligerent and occasionally even friendly when Shane was around.

Kim enjoyed their time together as a family but avoided being alone with Shane, ever since the night she made that last-minute excuse about going to a movie with Hope. She felt Shane wanted more from her, at least more than she was willing to give.

Kim had to admit that living in this house, with Shane so close by, stirred up some old feelings she had thought long buried. But those feelings came with painful memories and a broken heart, one that Kim feared was not totally healed and she had no desire to reopen old wounds.

Shane had crushed her heart and shattered her trust. Sometimes, closing her eyes, Kim could still feel the pain of his not loving her. That he had turned to her sister, her best friend, made it an even more crushing blow. The man she had loved so much, who had promised to love her forever, had turned on her. Kim had realized that if she stayed in Salem, she would never feel whole again so she fled to L.A. It had taken her a long time to pull herself together, but Los Angeles had been a new beginning and then Phillip entered her life.

Kim had thought marrying Phillip was a step in the right direction. He was so caring and doting, just what she needed after losing Shane. He brought romance back into her life and made her feel desirable again. If only she could have been madly in love with him. It would have made things so much easier. As much as she hated to admit it, Kim did always look forward to seeing Shane when he visited, just as Phillip had accused her. She was not a good enough actress to hide her true feelings, at least not good enough to fool a seasoned Hollywood-type like Phillip. Kim couldn't give Phillip the one thing he wanted, her complete heart. So her second attempt at marriage ended, and badly too.

But Kim liked who she was now – strong and independent. She was a survivor. It had taken more than fifteen years, two ex-husbands and a lot of painful memories to get here but Kim was determined never to be vulnerable and weak again. If that meant she had to keep Shane at arms length, then that's what she would do.

She knew she couldn't, no wouldn't expose herself to such heartache again. She would accept friendship but was determined to put up walls to anything more. No, it was best to keep their distance, Kim was certain of that.

* * *

"How are things at the Donovan household?" Hope said brightly to Shane who was sitting alone at the table. Since Jeannie had come into town, many of their nights were marked by dinners at various Brady homes. It seemed to be one reunion after another and although Shane would have preferred more time alone with his family, Kim was always eager to attend these events. Shane wasn't sure if it was eagerness to be with family or another way for Kim to avoid him. Tonight the dinner was at John and Marlena's.

"Let's see. My daughter has gone from loathing me to tolerating me so I think that's an improvement. And Kimberly is one minute my friend full of assurances and the next minute avoiding me."

Hope smiled and said in a mocking tone, "Poor Shane."

"I can take Jeannie's disposition. But Kim, it's like she's putting up walls between us."

"You know what they say, a woman scorned …"

"I did not scorn Kimberly," Shane said firmly.

Hope looked at Shane and chose her words carefully. "I wasn't around when you and Kim broke up but from what Bo tells me, it was a pretty nasty scene."

Shane closed his eyes as if he could block out the memory. "Are you telling me to give up?"

"No, give space. All of us know you and Kim belong together but let Kim be the one to figure out the place _she_ belongs is at your side." Hope squeezed his hand for reassurance.

Shane looked at her hopefully. "You sound so sure."

"I am," Hope said as she passed a copy of Kim's latest book across the table to him. "I know this dedication wasn't written to Phillip," she added before stepping away.

Thumbing through the first few pages, Shane's eyes stopped at the short tribute:

_To my soul mate. _

_When someone believes in you_

_You can start believing in yourself._

Shane looked across the room and saw Kim talking with John and Marlena. Suddenly she broke out in a laugh, the uncontrollable high pitched squeal that always embarrassed her but Shane loved and used to tease her about. Oh, he knew so much about her, all her silly traits and habits. He was not about to give up on her, on them. That much he was certain of.

Just at that moment, Kim looked over at Shane and bestowed upon him one of her breathtaking smiles that totally lit up her face. It was like a beacon calling to him and he couldn't resist going to her. "What's everyone talking about over here?"

"We're trying to convince Kim to attend the Dr. Tom Horton Memorial Benefit this Saturday," John said.

Jeannie overheard the conversation and rushed over. "Oh Mom, let's go. Chelsea and Stephanie will be going."

Kim hesitated and looked at Shane expecting help. "I don't know. I really didn't bring anything formal. And I leave the very next day for a meeting in New York."

"We can go shopping together. And it will be a great send-off. Please," Jeannie pleaded.

Shane winked at Jeannie and said in collaboration, "I don't think there's any excuse not to go."

Jeannie looked away, happy to be winning the argument but not thrilled that Shane was her accomplice.

Kim threw her hands up in defeat. "Fine, let's go. But you're going shopping with me tomorrow young lady."

Jeannie smiled at her victory, excited to be attending a dance with Stephanie, Chelsea and some of the boys she had met in Salem. Shane was smiling too; thrilled at the prospect of attending a dinner and dance with Kim, the very same reason Kim was now nervous.


	10. Chapter 10

Kim dragged a tired Jeannie into the fifth dress shop of the day. Jeannie had found a dress to wear to the benefit immediately and couldn't understand why her mother was having such a difficult time finding something appropriate to wear.

"I thought the red dress at that last shop looked great on you." Jeannie tried not to sound exasperated, remembering that shopping with her mother was part of the deal for attending the benefit. "You never have this much trouble shopping at home. It's like you care so much what you wear for him?"

"Now that's ridiculous." Kim tried to sound indignant when in fact what Jeannie said was true. Kim was trying to find the perfect dress because of Shane. "All of Salem will be at this benefit and I want to look my best. I haven't seen a lot of these people in years," she offered as an excuse for their long day of shopping. Noticing Jeannie once again deliberately referred to Shane as 'him', Kim added, "And you can start calling Shane Dad, Father or Pop. Any one of those will do."

Jeannie shrugged her shoulders and let out a long sigh. "Fine. But I don't understand why you care so much about _Dad_. How could you even forgive him?"

"Forgive him?" Kim looked at her questioningly. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," Jeannie dismissed her comment, concerned she had said too much. Kim looked suspiciously at her but before she could say anything more, the sales associate appeared with an armful of dresses and whisked Kim off to try them on.

Jeannie settled into a chair by the dressing rooms, thankful for the interruption. She certainly didn't like where her mother's question was heading and Jeannie feared she might say something she preferred to keep secret.

She kept replaying the scene of that awful fight between her mother and Phillip, when Phillip accused Kim of still loving Shane. As bad as that was, it didn't compare to what Jeannie read in the journal she found a few years later. She remembered it like it was yesterday.

_It was a rainy California day with nothing to do. Phillip and her mother were still out-of-town, at the end of a two-week cruise and Jeannie really missed them. Andrew was away at tennis camp and the nanny was busy watching one of her soap operas on TV. Jeannie was in her mother's closet trying on shoes, hats and purses like she often did when she really missed Kim. Then she saw it, tucked under the hamper, covered by shoe boxes. Maybe it was the hand-made paper cover that first attracted her, or the tight, neat script that she immediately recognized as her mother's handwriting. After quickly thumbing through the pages, Jeannie realized it was a journal, her mother's private journal. Although Jeannie knew she shouldn't read it, it was too tempting to skip especially with the fight still a vivid memory. _

_There on the very first page were the words that shook Jeannie's world. Kim had written: Why can't Shane accept and love Jeannie as his own child like he had done with Andrew._

_Jeannie remembered the horror she felt reading this. Shane wasn't her father? He hadn't loved her? Shocked by this revelation, Jeannie had to read more. She didn't understand all the ramblings about a man named Cal but further in the journal, Jeannie did confirm that Shane indeed was her father, and Andrew's, too._

_Reading it over and over, all Jeannie could understand was her father always loved and accepted Andrew but at one time did not love her, doubted she was his daughter and didn't accept her as his own. She was convinced that she was the reason for her parent's divorce. _

_Crushed as any twelve-year-old would be, Jeannie returned the journal to its hiding place and never mentioned what she had read to her mother. She thought of telling Andrew but knew he idolized Shane, and Jeannie didn't want to affect that. Instead she retreated from Shane, talking to him less often on the phone, and feeling relieved when he cancelled visits. Kim was too preoccupied trying to save her marriage to notice the change. Soon this secret Jeannie held clouded her relationship with Shane, smothering it with darkness, like heavy drapes that prevented any light from shining in. _

"Hey, you look a million miles away." Kim startled Jeannie out of her reverie.

Jeannie looked up and said, "Did you find something to wear?"

"Yes I did," Kim said holding up a dress bag. "So our day of shopping is officially over. But I'd like to continue our talk."

Jeannie cut her mother off, hoping to dodge further questions with reassurances. "Mom, ignore what I said. I know you two are friends and that's good. You and _Dad_ should be friends." Jeannie emphasized 'Dad", hoping that would deter Kim from asking any more questions. "I've been difficult but I'll try harder. I promise." Jeannie was determined not to talk about it and would do anything, even be nice to Shane, to avoid further questions.

Kim smiled, certain Jeannie was hiding something but for the time accepted her assurances. "Okay, sounds good. Let's head home."


	11. Chapter 11

Kim was sitting at her vanity, putting the finishing touches on her makeup when she heard Shane's voice downstairs. Listening, Kim could hear Jeannie and Shane talking, even laughing. Maybe Jeannie was going to try harder, as she said she would. Still that comment of hers about forgiving Shane really perplexed Kim. She had been thinking about it ever since their day of shopping.

What exactly did Jeannie mean about forgiving? Kim had always tried to keep her children free of any bitterness or acrimony towards Shane and their divorce. She remembered back to the night in L.A. right after Shane returned to Salem with Kayla. Andrew had awakened and found her crying in the front room of the hotel suite.

"_Mommy, what's wrong?"_

"_Nothing Andrew. I'm just a little sad," she said pulling him onto her lap._

"_About Daddy leaving?"_

"_Yeah, about Daddy leaving."_

"_Did he hurt you?" Andrew asked, stunning Kim with an intuitiveness that was so much like Shane._

"_Oh, no Andrew, your daddy's a wonderful man." Then looking off almost dreamlike, she repeated, more to herself than to Andrew, "… a wonderful man."_

Kim shook her head, clearing the memory from her mind. For the time being, Kim pushed questions about forgiveness out of her thoughts. Tonight was about celebrating, dancing and partying. Even though Kim had initially been reluctant to attend the benefit, she now found herself looking forward to the evening. Maybe it was the dress, definitely worth all the visits to the different shops. She eagerly grabbed her evening bag and headed downstairs.

Coming down the staircase, Kim paused when she caught sight of Shane in his tuxedo. Oh, how she loved him in a tuxedo. Looking up, Shane's jaw dropped as he took in the vision before him. "Oh Kimberly, you look absolutely breathtaking." She stood before him in a cream chiffon strapless gown gathered at the bodice, just snug enough to show off her gorgeous figure, with her hair swept up to reveal her lovely shoulders. Kim posed for just a moment while she and Shane smiled at each other.

Jeannie stood watching with interest, glancing back and forth between her parents. Feeling like an intruder in the room, she cleared her throat in an attempt to break their unspoken exchange. Shane allowed his eyes to linger on Kim's for just one second more and then, as if breaking a trance between them, Shane turned his attention to Jeannie. "Both my ladies are lovely tonight. Shall we go?"

Shane walked proudly into the ballroom with Kim and Jeannie on both arms. Jeannie immediately headed to her friends and was instantly surrounded by a swarm of boys. Kim and Shane smiled knowingly at each other and then to Kim's surprise, Shane brought her hand to his lips and lightly placed a kiss upon her fingertips. Kim demurely looked down, as Shane gently placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her to John and Marlena's table.

Kim was starting to have second thoughts about coming, concerned that maybe Shane had gotten the wrong message when she came down the stairs. She had to admit she got swept up in the moment, seeing him so dashing in his tuxedo, feeling his eyes look longingly at her. It was as if the clock had turned back for them and that feeling now scared her. She was so nervous that when they reached the table, Kim immediately latched onto Roman. "Hey, will my big brother give me this dance?"

"Sure," Roman reluctantly agreed looking back at a surprised Shane as Kim led him onto the dance floor. After a second and third dance with Roman, Kim turned her attention to her father and coaxed him out onto the dance floor.

Shane sat at the table with his eyes on Kim, feeling slighted and hurt. He certainly wasn't going to spend all evening watching Kim dance with everyone but him. Gathering his resolve, he headed onto the dance floor, first stopping to whisper something to the orchestra leader.

Shane reached Kim just as the song was ending and interrupted before she had a chance to ask her father to dance again. "Can I cut in?" he asked in his very British voice. Shawn was more than happy to oblige and stepped aside just as the opening notes to "Friends & Lovers" started.

Kim couldn't help but smile. "Did you request this song?"

"I highly doubt this old number is part of their repertoire," Shane said as he drew her into his arms. "But I'm an old guy and it's part of mine."

Shane pulled Kim close to him, much closer than he needed, but he reveled in the feeling of her in his arms. Swaying to the music, Kim realized how much she craved his touch and how right it felt to hold each other that way. She leaned in closer, looked up and they held each other's gaze.

"Wow, look at your parents," Chelsea gasped to Jeannie, nudging her chin towards the dance floor. "They are hot!"

Jeannie glanced over and for the first time saw her parents, really saw them. She had never before looked at them as a couple and was struck by how right they looked together. He, tall and dark; she, slender and petite; both gazing intently at each other. That was what struck her the most, how they looked at one another, as if no one else was in the room, lost in their embrace. Jeannie stood mesmerized at the sight.

The song ended and Shane and Kim walked over to Jeannie who still stood staring at them. "Hey, having a good time?" Shane asked waving his hand in front of Jeannie's eyes.

"Uh yes," Jeannie stammered, "I'm having a great time."

Kim reached out and squeezed Jeannie's arm. "I am too. I'm glad you both twisted my arm to come."

Jeannie gave her mother a weak smile and excused herself to rejoin her friends.

"Would you like some champagne?" Shane put out his arm and Kim gladly accepted as he led her back to their table, now conveniently empty. He poured them each a flute, then held up his glass and asked, "What shall we toast to?"

"Old friends," Kim suggested.

Smiling, Shane offered, "How about to new friends?"

Kim gently touched her glass to his and repeated, "To new friends." For a moment they enjoyed the silence between them, both feeling a wave of nostalgia and neither wanting to spoil it with words.

"Look who's here … the Donovan's." An older gentleman with a familiar face came up and greeted them. Embarrassingly, neither Kim nor Shane could recall his name. "Haven't seen you two in years. Where are you living now?"

"Uh, lots of different places. England, L.A. We get around." Shane answered with a smirk, eyeing a smiling Kim.

"Well it's good seeing you. I always said to my wife, you were the best couple ever."

Shane and Kim held their laughter until the anonymous gentlemen walked away. "I guess he didn't get the town memo on our divorce," Kim ventured with a silly grin.

"No, I highly doubt he did," Shane concurred. "So would the ex-Mrs. Donovan care to honor me with another dance?"

"I'd love to." Shane whisked Kim out on the dance floor and for the rest of the evening, they were inseparable, dancing and chatting the night away. Occasionally, Kim could feel her old fears and painful memories surface but she pushed them aside, refusing to allow them to spoil what was turning into a joyous evening. Kim would face her demons later but for tonight, all she wanted was to enjoy the pleasure of Shane's company without any walls between them.

The orchestra was playing their last song and not surprisingly, Shane and Kim were on the dance floor swaying in each other's arms. Jeannie waited at the side, getting their attention as the song ended. "Mom, everyone is sleeping over at Stephanie's. Can I go?"

Kim hesitated, more at the prospect of driving home alone with Shane than letting Jeannie go. But she saw the pleading look in her daughter's eyes and acquiesced. "Fine, just be home in time to take me to the airport."

"Thanks Mom," Jeannie hugged Kim before dashing off to join her friends.

"Shall we go?" Shane asked and Kim agreed, unsure what the rest of the night would bring.


	12. Chapter 12

The ride home was quiet, with neither wanting to break the spell cast that evening. Although Shane had to concentrate on the unfamiliar road, he would have much preferred replaying scenes of their evening together. It had been a success in so many ways. Kim looked like she was genuinely having a wonderful time. And he felt they had really connected, with no walls between them that evening. And when he embraced her while dancing, oh how he loved the feel of holding her in his arms. The entire evening had been a reminder of what their life use to be like and gave Shane a glimmer of hope that they could have that life again.

He looked over at Kim who seemed lost in her own thoughts. Momentarily, she looked up and caught Shane's gaze. They smiled shyly at each other as if they shared a secret no one else knew.

Pulling up in front of the house, Shane helped Kim out of the car and walked her to the door. The two stood together on the top step, neither one sure how to end the night. Kim looked up at Shane expectantly, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Reaching over, Shane gently brushed away a tendril of golden hair that had blown against her cheek. Maybe it was the moonlight or too much champagne but Kim turned to Shane and against her better judgment asked, "Would you like a nightcap or a cup of tea?"

"Tea would be nice," Shane replied, thrilled she had invited him in. He was not ready to let the warm feelings of the night end.

Kim fumbled with the lock and she hoped Shane couldn't see her hand shaking. A case of nerves had suddenly come over her. But he seemed oblivious to it as he took the key from her and effortlessly unlocked the door. "There, sometimes it gets a little tricky to turn," he offered as an excuse as he lead the way into the living room and turned on the lights. Kim followed trying discreetly to step out of the strappy sandals that were killing her feet. Shane may have missed the shaking hands but he clearly noticed the sandals. "Come on Kim, put your feet up. The tea can wait," he said guiding her to the sofa.

No, no, I'm fine," Kim protested.

"Nonsense. What you need is the famous Shane Donovan foot massage," he decreed as he reached down and took hold of one of her legs. Kim started to protest again but when Shane began to massage her finely pedicured toes, all she could do was let out a deep sigh that sounded more flirtatious than she intended. Shane smiled at Kim as he continued massaging her feet and then quipped, "See, you did need this."

"Yes, thank you," Kim agreed nervously and then gently pulled her foot from his grip. "But I better get you that tea I promised." Shane stood up and watched Kim leave, bemused and content and finally for once, totally at ease.

Kim disappeared in the kitchen, relieved to have a moment to gather her wits. Unlike Shane, she was far from at ease. Things had certainly started to get hot and Kim wasn't sure where the night was heading. She filled the teakettle with water, and then took the opportunity to splash a little cold water on her face. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, just as the teakettle startled her with its whistle.

Carrying a tray with the tea and cakes, Kim returned a short time later and after pouring them each a cup, settled next to Shane on the sofa. "I had a splendid time this evening," Kim remarked matter-of-factly trying to diffuse the night's earlier intensity, "And I saw so many people I hadn't seen in such a long time."

"Including old-what's-his-name?" Shane asked, referring to the anonymous gentleman who had interrupted their toast.

"I haven't the faintest idea who he is!" Kim exclaimed wide-eyed, forgetting her nervousness for the moment, and they both broke out in laughter.

"Jeannie looked like she was having fun, too." Then with a raised eyebrow, Shane cautioned, "Did you see all those boys swarming her?"

"That's our daughter. She's always been one to attract the boys."

"Like her mother."

"Oh, I hope not." Kim rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Kimberly, you did a wonderful job raising her, and Andrew too. I always said you were the best mother."

Shrugging her shoulders, Kim blushed. "Well, they come from good stock."

"Yes, they do," Shane said looking intently at Kim.

Uncomfortable under his gaze, Kim quickly changed the subject. "You know, I was surprised you didn't ask Jeannie to dance."

"I'm not sure she would have appreciated the gesture," Shane reasoned and then said more softly, "Anyway, I liked my dance partner." He looked at her longingly and leaned in. For a brief instant Kim thought he was going to capture her mouth in a kiss and at that moment Kim knew she would not have resisted; instead would have welcomed the softness of his lips on hers. But then her old fears resurfaced and she stiffened and leaned away.

Shane sensed the change in Kim's demeanor and had to fight the urge to capture her mouth with his; sadly realizing she was not ready for anything more. He held her gaze for one second longer, then sat back and cleared his throat. "You have a day of travel tomorrow. I better get going so you can get to sleep." Then, as an afterthought added, "Do you need a ride to the airport?"

"No, not necessary. It's all settled. Jeannie takes me to the airport and she can have the car. Just make sure she's not out late while I'm gone. Okay?"

"You can depend on me," Shane assured her, then stood and Kim followed him to the foyer. He paused for a moment at the door, yearning to pull Kim into his arms once more, to hold her one last time. He swallowed hard and instead, bowed his head and gave her a small kiss on the forehead. Kim closed her eyes at this gesture, surprised how this simple contact sent a surge through her, like electricity illuminating a room. "Have a good trip," he said tipping a nonexistent hat, then turned and left.

Kim stood for the longest time leaning against the door, watching Shane disappear down the stone path. Only after she saw the lights go on in the guest house did Kim close her front door. She took a moment to think about the night and had to admit that she and Shane had really connected,

Tonight, for the first time, Kim hadn't felt the heartbreaking pain she had felt everyday since losing Shane's love. Usually it was just a dull ache but sometimes when the pain was so excruciating, Kim would actually wish she could go back in time and magically erase meeting him, knowing him. But she knew even if she could do that, she wouldn't because along with the pain there was the sweetness of feeling all that she had felt for him. And Kim wouldn't trade that for anything.

She was thankful she was leaving for New York tomorrow. The trip couldn't come at a better time. She needed time away to get a grip on things, to figure out how to handle Shane and all she was suddenly feeling again. Yes, a few days away were just what she needed.

"


	13. Chapter 13

"The pizza's here," Shane called to Jeannie from the kitchen. Kim had left early that morning and as agreed, Jeannie took her to the airport. The rest of the day, Jeannie enjoyed the freedom of having the car all to herself, a privilege she sorely missed from California. The only concession she had to make was that Shane insisted on spending the evening together, starting with pizza for dinner. Jeannie would have much preferred being with friends but since she had concert tickets for the next night, one evening with Shane was a manageable compromise.

"I hope you ordered Triple-Meat-Lovers," Jeannie warned as she walked into the kitchen.

"Yes, yes, yes. I got you all three meats. So uncivilized if you don't mind me saying," Shane admonished as he dug into his single-ingredient mushroom pizza.

"Uncivilized? At least we don't eat kidneys in our pies!" Jeannie looked at Shane, pleased she had one-upped him and Shane smiled back at her verbal victory. Jeannie had become downright friendly since her day of shopping with Kim. Shane didn't know what magic words Kim had said to bring about the change but he welcomed Jeannie's new disposition.

"I rented "The Bourne Supremacy" to watch after dinner."

"Ooh, a spy thriller for a spy. Isn't that a bit redundant?" Jeannie teased.

"No more redundant than you watching "Mean Girls" again and again." Jeannie couldn't help but laugh at this observation and Shane finally felt he and Jeannie were starting to make a connection. The evening was shaping up to be something special, Shane thought to himself.

He had initially been worried what he and Jeannie would talk about, especially without Kim there as the go-between. But his worries had been for nothing as he discovered they shared many of the same tastes and interests. He was impressed with her knowledge of Shakespeare and they talked at length about their favorite plays and sonnets. Like Shane, Jeannie too shared a secret passion for mysteries and dinner ended with a friendly argument over who was the better sleuth, Miss Marple or Hercule Poirot.

Later, while they were cleaning up the pizza boxes, the doorbell rang. At first, neither heard it. The music from the ipod station was blaring, some British rock band with a silly Black-Something-with-Rusty-Something-Else name that Shane quickly forgot. It was hardly Shane's preference in music but he had regrettably acceded to Jeannie's choice. Then the ringing became more insistent as if someone was leaning on the bell. Jeannie went to answer it thinking it was surely Stephanie or Chelsea come to rescue her from her evening trapped with Shane. She remembered how she had complained incessantly to them about being _"stuck home with my Dad."_ Instead it was Bo who came rushing into the kitchen.

"Shane, we've got to go. We got word a shipment is being unloaded on the pier tonight." Shane knew Bo was referring to the ISA assignment. Still, he hesitated and looked uncomfortably at Jeannie. "Come on Shane, we don't have much time. We miss this shipment, there may not be another," Bo urged hurriedly.

Jeannie sensed the urgency and offered, "It's okay, I'll be fine. I can always call some friends to watch that movie with me." Jeannie smiled trying to alleviate some of Shane's concern.

Shane hesitated once more, feeling tremendous guilt abandoning her. He had promised Kim he'd look after Jeannie, spend time with her and here the ISA was again intruding into his life. "If you go out, be home by eleven. You understand?" Shane called to Jeannie as he rushed out the door, resigned to the fact that the ISA still had to come first.

"I understand," she shouted after them then turned to look around the empty room. Jeannie felt an unexpected disappointment come over her. She had been having a good time with Shane and to her surprise, she regretted the interruption. "Oh well," she shrugged and picked up the phone to call Stephanie's cell. "Hey Stephanie, want to come over and watch a movie?"

"Jeannie, I was just going to call you. Everybody is here at the beach. It's turning into a huge party. You've got to come."

"I don't know. My Dad just left and I'm not sure I should leave."

"Jeannie, you've got your car and Tim is here asking about you." Stephanie tempted her by mentioning a student from Salem University Jeannie had met at the benefit. She had hoped to see him again and a party at the beach sounded like the perfect opportunity. Jeannie looked around the empty house once more, then grabbed her keys and headed out the door.

It was crowded at the beach and Jeannie had a hard time finding a spot to park. She couldn't believe all the people that had gathered. There was an impromptu band playing, couples dancing, and kegs of beer and vodka bottles littering the sand. After about fifteen minutes of wandering, Jeannie finally found Stephanie and Chelsea. "Hey guys!" She waved at them and then said more worriedly, "You know, I think I should go."

"What! You just got here. Come on, we'll find Tim. We told him you were coming." Chelsea took Jeannie's arm and together they headed into the crowd. After a short stroll down towards the water, Chelsea found who she was looking for. "Hey Tim, look who's here," she shouted to a group of college students. A tall boy with sandy blonde hair tucked under a Yankees baseball cap turned and ran towards them.

"Hey, Jeannie, I'm glad you came. Isn't this just wild?"

"Yeah, I can't believe all these people." Jeannie was sure all of Salem High was here, and the University, too. So why shouldn't she join in the fun, she thought to herself. Besides, she decided, Shane had said she could be out until eleven.

Tim grabbed Jeannie's hand and pulled her to where the band was playing. It was more loud than good but Jeannie didn't care. Tim was really cute and she could tell he was interested in her. He leaned in and they started to dance and Jeannie forgot all about leaving.

After a second and third dance, Tim led Jeannie over to one of the many kegs. She usually wasn't one to drink but she didn't think a sip or two would matter. Tim filled a paper cup for her and she willingly accepted it. "Come on, I want you to meet some of my frat buddies." He looped his arm around her waist and led her to a group of college boys gathered around a keg. Greeting them, Jeannie didn't notice the raised eyebrows and knowing glances they gave to each other but she did feel Tim tighten his hold around her waist and that pleased her. Jeannie was enjoying the attention Tim was lavishing on her and was especially excited to find out he was going to the same concert tomorrow night. She smiled to herself at the idea of spending another night with Tim.

"Let's go dance some more," Tim said guiding Jeannie back towards the band. Jeannie was having so much fun dancing and partying that she totally lost track of time. It wasn't until Tim mentioned the fireworks that she realized how late it was. "Let's head down to the dock, they're going to set off fireworks at midnight."

"Midnight? I'm supposed to be home at eleven."

"You're kidding?" He asked with disbelief.

"No, I got to go," she shouted as she ran up the hill towards the street with Tim in pursuit. "Oh my god, I don't remember where I parked," she cried out feeling panic set in.

"Don't worry, we'll find your car." Tim tried to calm Jeannie down and for the next hour they searched the streets for her car.

Shane returned home a little after midnight tired and discouraged. It had been a false lead and that only added to the disappointment of his spoiled evening with Jeannie. He had hoped she would be awake when he got home but by the time he returned, the house was dark and quiet. Still, Shane decided he should check on her before heading to bed. He stepped quietly through the main house and lightly knocked on her bedroom door. Hearing no response, he slowly opened the door and peeking in, he was surprised to find the room empty. He called out to Jeannie but there was no answer. Then reality set in and he ran to check the garage. Although he knew what to expect before he got there, he still sadly shook his head, disappointed to find the car was gone.

Heading back into the house, Shane could feel his anger rising. He had made it very clear to Jeannie that she needed to be home at eleven. Kim, too, was always firm about an eleven o'clock curfew so there should have been no confusion. "She better have a good excuse," Shane thought to himself as he settled into the darkened living room to await Jeannie's return.

It was well past one o'clock when Jeannie stepped into the house. It had taken her and Tim quite some time to find the car and when they did, it was penned in. Thank goodness Tim was there because Jeannie had been so upset, she had no idea what to do. But Tim searched the party, eventually finding the cars' owners and soon Jeannie was on her way home. She just hoped Shane was still on his stakeout.

Then from the darkened recesses of the living room, she heard his voice. "It's past eleven o'clock." Jeannie stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, and saw him sitting in the dark. He reached over and turned on the small reading lamp by the chair and Jeannie could see his face in the shadows, a mixture of anger and disappointment.

"I know. I just lost track of time." Jeannie tried to explain.

"I'd say. Where have you been?"

"Just hanging out with Stephanie and Chelsea." Jeannie thought it wise not to mention Tim, or the beach or the drinking.

"All right. We'll talk about it more at breakfast," Shane said moving closer and Jeannie was convinced everything would have been fine if Shane had not smelled the liquor on her breath. Shocked, he said "Have you been drinking?"

Caught, Jeannie was resigned to telling the truth. "It was just a party. And I forgot the time. Chelsea and Stephanie were there, too."

"They're older than you."

"Not that much older," Jeannie argued.

Shane could feel his anger rising again. "Tomorrow you'll spend the day at home, all day."

For the second time that night, Jeannie felt panic set in. "I have a concert to go to tomorrow night."

"Well you should have thought about that before drinking." He ran his hands through his hair, totally exasperated with the situation.

"You can't ground me. You have no right."

"Oh yes I can."

"Who do you think you are?" Jeannie spat at him angrily.

"I'm your father."

"In name only!" Jeannie impulsively shot out.

Shane was so wounded by her words that even through her anger, Jeannie regretted saying them. He looked at her with sadness literally pouring out of his eyes and said in a measured tone, "Maybe in name only but I am still your father." With that, he quietly turned and left the room. Jeannie angrily ran up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door sending a shudder throughout the house. Shane cringed at the sound as he headed to the guest house, wondering how he was going to tell Kim about this.


	14. Chapter 14

Jeannie leaned back on her bed, yawning and stretching out her long tanned legs. The late afternoon sun was peeking through the crack in the draperies and Jeannie thought to herself, this day has certainly been boring. She had intentionally stayed upstairs, choosing to spend the entire day in her room reading, watching TV and surfing the internet, anything to avoid facing Shane.

When she had gone to bed last night she was truly angry, furious at Shane for grounding her. She was convinced that her punishment far exceeded her crime, and that Shane had far exceeded his role. But in the calmness of the day, Jeannie came to realize she had been wrong staying out so late, and drinking, too. As much as she disliked admitting to it, she couldn't excuse her behavior and had to at least acknowledge that her punishment was deserved and Shane was justified in giving it. But there was no way she could excuse the harsh words she had hurled at him. She grimaced remembering the sad look in his eyes.

It was now close to five o'clock and Jeannie knew her friends would soon be heading to the concert. She looked across her room and saw the sundress she had bought especially for the night hanging on the hook. "Well there's no reason to change out of my shorts and t-shirt," she said to herself. "Tonight will be just as boring as the day was." But Jeannie knew she couldn't hide in her room much longer. Eventually she had to go downstairs and face Shane. She just wasn't sure what kind of reception to expect and dreaded the confrontation. Rolling over on her stomach, Jeannie realized she couldn't stall any longer. Taking a deep breath, she pushed herself up from the bed and headed downstairs.

"I was wondering when you would finally come down." Shane looked up from the report he was reading when Jeannie stepped into the living room. His eyes were warm and friendly which helped to ease the tension between them.

"There was a lot to do in my bedroom," Jeannie shrugged.

Shane grinned picturing Jeannie confined to her bedroom with a wide screen TV and computer to keep her company. He hoped she had gotten over the disappointment of missing the concert. It had troubled him to ground her but Shane felt she had left him no choice. Missing curfew was one thing but he couldn't overlook the drinking. He still questioned whether he had done the right thing and wondered all night what Kim would have done in his place.

"So, are you hungry?" Shane asked rubbing his hands together. He didn't think Jeannie had had anything to eat.

"Yeah, a little." In truth, Jeannie was famished. She hadn't eaten all day.

Shane got up from the desk and headed towards the kitchen. "What are you in the mood for?"

Jeannie followed him with her eyes, unsure what to make of his mood. Shane seemed genuinely good-natured, as if last night hadn't happened, and the words she had said to him had never been spoken. He turned to face her waiting for an answer and Jeannie suggested warily, "Let's see, last night was pizza. I suppose tonight we can bring in Chinese."

"I beg your pardon," Shane said, exaggerating indignation. "I can assure you I am very capable in the kitchen. As a matter-of-fact, I am known for whipping up a rather good omelet." Shane smiled at the memory before continuing, "Just don't tell your mother I still crack eggs one-handed."

Jeannie looked at him puzzled, not understanding his last comment. Ignoring her look, Shane put his arm around Jeannie's shoulder and guided her toward the kitchen. "Come on, you can help shred the cheese."

* * *

"So those are the colleges I'm thinking of applying to," Jeannie said taking a last forkful of her omelet. Preparing dinner together had helped to further ease the tension between the two. Shane wasn't quite the master in the kitchen as he had led her to believe so there were plenty of pratfalls and laughter before dinner was served. Jeannie once again found herself having a good time with Shane. It was hard not to like him. He was so charming and thoughtful and a good listener, too. Jeannie could tell he really cared what she had to say. The dinner conversation had steered towards Jeannie's plans after high school. Shane had listened intently to all her options, impressed how clear she was at what her future held. "I know all the schools are in California but I really like California," she finished explaining. 

"They are all good choices. I was glad Andrew chose to study in England but it's not for everybody," Shane acknowledged, as the two walked into the livingroom and took seats opposite each other. "I do hope, though, you'll think about coming to visit Donovan Manor soon. You haven't been there in a while. Maybe Fall Break? Andrew could join us," Shane suggested, adding the Andrew part as an enticement.

"Yeah, maybe," Jeannie murmured. "Andrew always said this house reminded him of Donovan Manor."

"You don't really remember this house, do you?" Jeannie shook her head no. "Well, you were awfully young when you lived here."

"Andrew use to tell me all about this house, though." Shane settled back in his chair and listened as Jeannie recalled Andrew's stories. "He told me about the tire swing you hung down by the lake, and his favorite hiding spot under the stairs where he claimed no one could ever find him."

Shane chuckled at the recollection remembering how he and Kim would see Andrew peeking out from beneath the stairs, hopelessly trying to stifle his giggles so he wouldn't be found. "He was quite the phantom of the house."

"Yeah? Well, he was a braggart, too. He always bragged about the stables and his horse Winnie. I was terribly jealous until Phillip bought me my own horse." Jeannie bit her lip, uncomfortable at having mentioned Phillip but Shane simply nodded and smiled at her. "Andrew just made it seem like such a happy place here."

"It was … once." Then, almost in a dreamlike state, Shane shared his favorite memory of the house. "What I remember most is when Andrew was little I use to dance all around this room with him. He would scream with delight as I twirled and twirled him around."

"Did you ever do that with me?" Jeannie asked, her voice faltering.

"No, I didn't." Then added quietly, "But I wish I had."

"I wish you had, too."

Shane paused for a moment contemplating Jeannie's last comment, then stood and walked to the ipod station. Instantly, the music of Kelly Clarkson filled the room and Shane headed back to where Jeannie was sitting. "Can I have this dance?" he asked and without waiting for an answer, pulled her to her feet and twirled her about the room to the swelling rhythm of _Breakaway_. As the music got faster, they twirled faster until Jeannie couldn't help but scream in delight. What mastery Shane lacked in the kitchen, he more than made up on the dance floor. He expertly twirled Jeannie around the room, song after song, and Jeannie reveled in his attention. Finally, both out-of-breaths, they dropped on the sofa panting and laughing.

"Now I have a new memory for this house," Shane gasped trying to catch his breath.

Jeannie smiled at his comment. She could feel the old anger towards Shane fading away and found she liked the new way she was feeling about him. "I better get to sleep," Jeannie announced. "I have to pick up Mom early tomorrow."

"I can get her Jeannie."

"No, it's okay. I said I'd pick her up if I got the car and Mom is really into deal-making." Jeannie explained, rolling her eyes. And then more quietly asked, "Are you going to tell her about last night?"

Shane pursed his lips and shook his head. "No. Let's just keep that between us."

Relieved, Jeannie headed for the stairs but at the last moment turned and quietly said, "Good-night Dad," before heading upstairs.

Shane watched her climb the stairs, knowing that was the first time in a long time that Jeannie had called him dad. Tonight had been a good night and Shane couldn't wait for Kimberly to get home.


	15. Chapter 15

It was a dreary, overcast day in Salem; the first in a long time. But Kim wouldn't let that ruin her jubilant mood. Not the weather or the two-hour delay she endured getting home. Her New York trip had been a success and nothing was going to dampen her spirit.

Jeannie picked Kim up at the airport as planned and didn't even seem to mind the long wait for her arrival. Kim took her good mood as a sign that all had gone well while she had been away.

On the flight home, Kim thought once more of that odd comment Jeannie had made when they went shopping. What did she mean about forgiving Shane? And why was she so determined not to talk about it? Kim had planned to bring it up on the drive home but Jeannie seemed so happy, Kim didn't want to do anything to spoil her mood. So once again she postponed the conversation.

It didn't really matter because Kim already had so much to tell Jeannie. She shared her good news about the meeting with her publisher, then went on to tell her all the shopping she did in New York. She wasn't sure which Jeannie found more interesting, the publisher's meeting or shoe-shopping at Barney's.

As she and Jeannie talked, Kim found she was thinking of Shane again. As excited as she had been to tell Jeannie her news, Kim found she was really looking forward to sharing it with Shane. Where was that coming from, Kim wondered. Barely a month had passed since Shane had re-entered her life and here he was creeping into her thoughts. How many times had she thought about him during her stay in New York? Too many, Kim conceded, although she tried to fool herself by dismissing them as simply wondering how he and Jeannie were getting along.

The drive home was long despite Jeannie's typical teen tendency to speed. Kim repeatedly had to advise her to slow down and Jeannie just smiled at the warnings. "Mom, it's fine. I'm not going that fast."

"Well there's no reason to hurry. Just go the speed limit," Kim insisted although she was eager to get home and it was apparent to Jeannie why.

When they finally pulled into the driveway, Kim looked back towards the guest house and was pleased to see Shane's car parked in front. "Good, he's home," Kim said to herself as she felt a familiar sense of contentment envelope her. It was exactly how she felt all those years ago, when Shane would safely return home from his ISA assignments.

Jeannie drove up to the main house, rambling on to her mother, something about a boy named Tim but Kim really wasn't listening. Her attention was now totally on Shane and her anticipation at seeing him. Jeannie helped with the luggage and packages before begging off staying for lunch. Kim feigned disappointment but actually was relieved; she was eager to visit with Shane and share her good news. After getting Jeannie to promise she'd return for dinner, Kim headed for the guest house.

"Shane, are you in?" Kim knocked lightly on the door.

The door immediately opened and Shane greeted her with a huge smile. He would have much preferred giving her a welcome-home hug but feared she'd think him too presumptuous. He had been anxiously awaiting Kim's arrival since early morning. Thankfully, Jeannie had called and warned him about the delay or else he knew he would have worn out the floor pacing back and forth.

"Have I got news to tell you." Kim rushed past him into the guest house's small living area. Turning to face him, she pretended a drum roll then announced, "They're going to make a movie of my book!"

"My goodness Kim, that's fabulous."

"That's the reason they delayed the book tour," Kim explained excitedly. "They want the tour to coincide with the movie announcement. Get this, Jennifer Aniston is going to star in my story. I met her in New York at the meeting. We instantly got along, as if I already knew her." Worried that she sounded more like a star-struck teenager than a best-selling author, Kim remarked still wide-eyed, "I know I live in L.A. and was married to a movie producer myself but – Jennifer Aniston. Jeannie said it best … 'Way too cool.'"

Shane was duly impressed although he dared not spoil Kim's excitement by telling her he didn't really know who Jennifer Aniston was. He didn't watch much TV or go to many movies in England. But he knew enough that a movie deal was reason to celebrate. "How about we toast your success with a cup of Earl Grey?"

Kim smiled in agreement and sat down at the small table while Shane made a pot of tea. Over steaming teacups, Kim rattled on breathlessly about her meeting, the movie deal and all she did in New York, leaving Shane little chance to get a word in. But he didn't mind. He loved seeing her so happy and excited. It had been too long since he had seen her this ecstatic and he found it filled him with immense joy.

"Oh, look at the time." Kim glanced at her watch and saw she had spent a good part of the afternoon talking with Shane. "I better get going. Jeannie will be home soon and I haven't even unpacked." Kim got up and headed for the door before realizing she hadn't even asked Shane how things went while she was gone. She turned and asked tentatively, "So how was your time with Jeannie?"

"Splendid, absolutely splendid," Shane repeated. "We really connected, especially last night."

"Wonderful. I told you it was only a matter of time. This has been a couple of rather jolly good days for both of us," Kim said mimicking his vernacular. Then, not sure if the gesture was impulsive or instinctive, Kim reached up and kissed Shane. Before he could even respond to the tender touch of her lips on his, Kim pulled back stunned and apologetic. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not." Shane gently grabbed her shoulders before she could turn away and looked deeply in her eyes. "Kimberly, how much longer are we going to deny our feelings?"

"Shane, please," she pleaded trying to break free. "It's being here, in this house, surrounded by all these memories that are creating these feelings."

"Oh Kim, you know it's much more than that," he implored. "It's you and me together and it feels so right. You know it does. Kimberly, I love—"

"No, don't say it," Kim interrupted, pulling free and turning away.

Shane walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders and spoke softly, almost in a whisper. "I know I let you down but—"

Interrupting again, Kim almost laughed as she turned and faced him. "Let me down? What, is that your euphemism for breaking my heart?" Shane was sure a slap across the face would have been less painful. Kim peered at him with narrowing eyes and stated sharply, "Shane, she was my sister. I can't forget that."

"I'm not asking you to. I want to move forward."

"Forward? There's no future for us. It's not just Kayla, there's so much more. We're not good together."

"That's not true," Shane objected.

"Oh it's true. We hurt each other. I've hurt you. You've hurt me. Whether it's intentional or not, we've caused each other pain. You can't deny that."

"I know, and I'm so sorry Kim. But if we could try and get past …"

"But we can't," Kim cut him off. "We've tried before, and no matter how hard we try, we can never get past ..." she paused, her voice trailing off. Then her eyes locked with his as her voice became firm again. "It always comes back to the same thing, Shane. You never could accept my past, really accept what I was. It was always there between us."

Shane exhaled sharply, astounded at her last comment. "I can't believe you're still bringing that up, after all these years."

"Why? It's the truth, Shane. I was a ... " Kim hesitated before blurting out, "I was a whore and no matter how many years go by, that fact doesn't change. That, and how you see me, how you always saw me."

With exasperation in his voice, Shane snapped, "I always accepted your past. You just never believed I did. Your past was between us because you kept it between us." Shane tried to maintain control but felt his voice rise in anger, unable to mask the accusatory tone. "You never trusted me and you never trusted my love for you."

"In the end, I was right. Wasn't I?" she shot back, matching his anger. "You proved that I can't trust you with my heart." Kim turned her back on him and willed her breathing to slow, desperate to stay in control. She walked towards the door before turning around, her voice quivering. "I am flawed Shane. I make mistakes. The problem was we never could get past them."

"I made a mistake and we can't get past that either. You just can't forgive me," Shane uttered solemnly, sadly shaking his head.

Kim felt her legs go weak beneath her as she lunged for the door. Grabbing the knob, she turned and looked at him for one second more before hurrying out the door. Shane tried one last valiant attempt to reach out to her before the door slammed shut. Frustrated and angry, Shane grabbed his teacup from the table and threw it against the wall. "Damn it," he cried out as the tea splattered on the wall and the cup shattered to the floor.


	16. Chapter 16

_"I can't believe you're passing up a date with Tim to spend time with your parents!" _

Jeannie remembered the incredulous look on Chelsea's face when she told her she was planning to spend the evening with her parents instead of going to a movie with Tim. Chelsea just rolled her eyes as Jeannie explained how excited her mother was after her New York trip and that it seemed the right thing to do, spend time with her ... with both of them.

_"But summer's almost over," Chelsea had argued. "Tim will be going back to school soon. And you'll be be leaving, too."_

_"Yeah, I know," Jeannie had replied letting disappointment sneak into her voice. _

Up until then, Jeannie hadn't really thought much about returning home but realized what Chelsea said was true. She would be heading back to California and probably soon. Jeannie thought how it wasn't so long ago she would have eagerly jumped at the chance to return to her life in Los Angeles, but now she wasn't so sure.

* * *

"Hey, I'm home," Jeannie shouted as she walked into the house, casually tossing her keys on the table and beach tote up the stairs, both egregious acts she knew would catch her mother's ire. "Where's everybody," she called out as she went searching for her parents. Reaching the kitchen, Jeannie suddenly stopped surprised at the sight. 

There was Kim alone in the kitchen. Considering her mother's earlier jubilant mood and her obvious anticipation at seeing Shane, Jeannie had expected to find the two of them together. And she certainly had expected, at the very least, that all three of them would go out for a splashy celebratory dinner. Instead, she found Kim busy making dinner and her mood had taken a bleak turn.

"Come set the table," Kim ordered as she scurried about the kitchen deliberately avoiding eye contact with Jeannie. "I found some salad fixings and Mama stopped by with some of Pop's chowder."

"Just the two of us?" Jeannie asked with a puzzled expression.

"Yes, just the two of us." Kim knowingly anticipated Jeannie's next question so quickly offered her own explanation. "Shane has some ISA work to do."

Jeannie eyed her mother suspiciouly before saying, "I thought we'd all go out for dinner, you know, to celebrate the movie deal and everything. I thought that was why you wanted me home."

Kim sighed deeply as she continued stirring the chowder, purposely keeping her eyes on the stockpot. "Well, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression about dinner." Feeling that she owed a reason for the obvious change, Kim put the spoon down and turned to face Jeannie. "Like I said, Shane's working and anyway, I'm tired from the trip. Probably a bit of jet lag. But I did promise Mama we'd stop by the pub for a quick visit after dinner, if that's all right?"

Jeannie looked closely at her mother, skeptical of her explanation. When she had picked her up at the airport, Kim was as excited as a kid in a toy store with a fistful of dollars. Her voice alone was filled with a vibrancy Jeannie hadn't heard in a long time. She was sure Kim would still be full of that same excitement. But here she was the total opposite; sullen, moody and tired. Not what you'd expect from someone who just found out her book was being made into a movie and going to star one of the biggest actresses in Hollywood.

"So is a quick visit to the pub okay?" Kim repeated.

"Sure, that's fine," Jeannie answered still confused by her mother's sudden change in mood. "Did Dad say something to upset you? Wasn't he excited about the movie?"

Turning away from Jeannie, Kim managed an indignant, "Don't be silly! Of course he was very excited about the movie. I told you he has work to do and I'm just tired. Now let's eat dinner so we can visit Mama and Pop soon."

* * *

Shane stood at his window, shaking his head and watching the headlights disappear down the driveway. He wondered where Kim and Jeannie were going and was sad that wherever it was, it didn't include him. 

After Kim had burst into the guest house with her news, he had fully expected that he and Jeannie would take Kim out for a huge celebration. Instead, here he was alone, drinking scotch and pondering exactly what had transpired earlier that afternoon. Shane could kick himself for pressuring Kim but when their lips touched, he couldn't help himself, even though she obviously regretted the kiss.

All evening, he kept replaying the scene over and over again, remembering the hurtful words and accusations they hurled at each other. But the one comment he fixated on most was 'I can't trust you with my heart'. Swirling the amber liquid around in the glass, Shane realized that what he had feared most may be true; too much damage was done, the wound ran too deep, to hope for any kind of reconciliation with Kim. Shane took one last swig of the bitter liquid before angrily throwing the glass against the fireplace.

* * *

When Kim and Jeannie arrived at the pub, Caroline immediately latched onto Jeannie and whisked her up the stairs to the apartment. She insisted she needed Jeannie's youthful opinion on some clothes she had just bought, leaving Shawn and Kim alone in the pub. 

Shawn ushered Kim to one of the smaller tables and poured them each a cup of coffee. Curious, and not one for idle chatter, Shawn immediately brought up Shane. "Kim, I would have thought you and Shane would be out celebrating this movie thing of yours."

"Shane has work to do, Pop."

"Hmm," Shawn replied not believing a word of it. "So what's happening with you and Shane?"

"We're friends. That's all."

Shaking his head, Shawn declared, "That man isn't looking at you like a friend."

"Pop, please. We're just friends, nothing more."

Shawn let out a long sigh. He could tell Kim was not going to open up to him so he decided to take a different tactic. "I read your new book Kimmie. You have a real gift. That book will help so many people," he stated, stretching the word r-e-a-l with his natural Irish brogue. Then choking back emotion, Shawn uttered softly, "I wish there had been a book like that so ... so I could have helped you deal with the abuse. I should have protected you from my brother Eric."

Smiling weakly and with forgiveness in her voice, Kim said, "I know Papa."

"Maybe if I had read a book like yours, I could have helped you or gotten you help, like the kind of help you give people who are abused. Maybe then, this thing wouldn't have stopped you from finding happiness."

Kim reached over and squeezed Shawn's hand for reassurance. "Pop, I'm happy."

Shawn's voice gained strength and with a firm tone he corrected Kim. "Not really. I'm your father and I can see you're not happy. You and Shane belong together."

Eager to change the subject, Kim said dismissively, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I know he hurt you Kim. But girl, you have to let go of the pain. Isn't that what you preached in that first book of yours, 'to be free of pain, you have to let go of the pain'."

Kim smiled, touched that he could quote her writings. "It's not that simple Papa."

Holding his temper, Shane said, "Yes, it is that simple Kimmie, if you love him. And I know you do."

Kim was about to object but hearing laughter from the staircase, she and Shawn quickly cut short their conversation. "Your daughter has the best taste in clothes," Caroline marveled to Kim as she and Jeannie entered the pub. "She certainly knows how to put a look together." Noticing tension in the room, Caroline looked questioningly from Shawn to Kim. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, Mama but we've got to go. It's been a long day and I'm beat." After hugs and good-byes, Kim headed out the door with Jeannie, glad to have this day finally over. She sadly chuckled to herself as she thought how this day had started so promising and now ended so discouragingly.


	17. Chapter 17

"So Mom, can I go?" Jeannie repeated her question to Kim, frustrated at her mother's apparent lack of attention. Kim had been back from New York for several days and since returning, Jeannie noticed she had become terribly distracted and absent-minded. It concerned her but Kim brushed it off as simply nerves about the upcoming book tour and movie announcement. Shane, too, was conspicuously absent since Kim's return but Kim explained that he was just busy with ISA work which seemed plausible. Jeannie knew from past experience that ISA always came first with her father.

"I'm sorry, what did you say," Kim apologized, taking a last gulp of her morning coffee.

"Mom, you're not listening," Jeannie snapped slightly perturbed.

"Of course I am," Kim insisted when in fact, she hadn't heard a word Jeannie said.

"There's a big end-of-summer party tomorrow at the beach," Jeannie said trying to keep the impertinence out of her voice. "It's all day with a nighttime bonfire," she explained before adding cautiously, "so I probably won't get home until midnight. Can I have the car and go?"

Kim pursed her lips considering Jeannie's request. She usually was very strict about curfew. But then again, Jeannie hadn't done anything to lose her trust all summer. And now with summer almost over, it seemed prudent to bend a little. "All right but you must be home immediately after the bonfire. Okay?"

Jeannie jumped up from her chair practically knocking it over and rushed around the table to hug Kim. "Thank you, thank you. I better go call Chelsea and Stephanie."

Kim watched as Jeannie hurried up the stairs and smiled at her youthful exuberance. What a welcome change from her mood at the beginning of summer. When she first arrived, Jeannie had still been terribly bitter and angry about her and Phillip's divorce and was so upset about coming to Salem. It filled her with joy to see Jeannie finally happy and for a moment Kim forgot her own troubles. But they were just a stone's path away.

She and Shane had successfully avoided each other the last few days and Kim knew Shane well enough to know he'd continue to give her space. Space, that was what she needed. Yet yesterday morning when Kim had looked out her bedroom window, she saw Shane load a suitcase in his car and drive off. She remembered the panic that gripped her heart as she feared he had left for good. Kim was irritable and agitated the rest of the day finding relief only when she saw Shane's car parked again in front of the guest house.

Kim got up from the diningroom table and walked to the open window overlooking the garden. The scent of roses filled the air and Kim inhaled deeply in a futile attempt to calm herself down. Instead, the fragrant scent brought back a rush of memories of her first visit to Donovan Manor when Shane proudly showed her the garden there. A warm sensation washed over her as she remembered that visit. Each of them scared and wary, it was the first time they admitted their love to each other. And the first time they made love, a sweet yet sensuous coming together of body and soul. Kim shivered as she felt her body respond to the memory.

Why did everything always come back to Shane? Her last image of him, standing in the guest house, looking so sad and forlorn, flooded her mind. Kim desperately wanted not to care! Where was her determination to remain at arms length? Kim knew it had vanished the moment he took her in his arms. She thought back to the benefit and recalled how wonderful it felt dancing with him. Suddenly memories of harsh words and heartbreak were clouded by this new sensation of wanting and needing him.

Kim was so confused, more confused than ever about Shane. But there was one thing she knew for certain. She wouldn't find any answers to her troubles sitting here in this house. She had to get out and she knew just where she had to go.

"Jeannie, I'm running a few errands. I'll be back by dinner," she shouted up the stairs before grabbing her keys and heading out.

After circling the area a few times, Kim found a parking spot only a block away. This was especially lucky considering the pier was always busy during the late morning hours. She locked her car and hurried across the street and down the stairs to the dock. She knew this place well having spent so many days of her childhood playing on this dock. Most of her memories here were happy; playing tag with Roman and Kayla or pushing baby Bo in his stroller.

But the memory she wanted wasn't that long ago. It was Christmas, soon after Shane arrived in Salem. She was still living "the life", and was certain Shane knew her secret. Kim closed her eyes and vividly recalled the two of them standing at this exact spot on the pier. Then Shane turned and looked at her as no one else had ever done. For the first time Kim thought her life could be different, one filled with joy and promise instead of sadness and despair. After that, she was determined to escape "the life" and Shane, with his unbending support and clever magnetic video tape eraser, was the one who helped make it possible. She remembered the immense joy she felt, certain she had finally put that sordid part of her life behind her and was about to embark on a new, happier journey.

Looking further down the pier, Kim was struck by another memory. This one when she and Shane were married. Holding back tears, Kim shuddered as she recalled the heartbreaking loss of miscarrying their second baby. A horrible accident – no, a violent assault - that wouldn't have happened if Shane had been home. Standing together on this pier, Kim had lashed out at him, angry that he had put the ISA and others first, before her and their family's needs.

Kim continued her walk on the pier, letting memories flow like photographs slipping out of an album. A secret rendevous with Shane disguised as a tramp ... her posing as a hooker to catch the Riverfront Knifer ... a simple misstep followed by a rescuing hand giving the first hint that she was falling in love. "Falling in love," Kim whispered to herself. When she approached Brady's Pub, she hurried past preferring to be alone and strolled a bit longer on the pier before heading back to her car.

After several hours of driving aimlessly through town, Kim found herself parked in front of their first house, the one Shane bought before they were married. Here Kim had sought refuge when she was accused of murdering Emma, Shane's first wife. That dreadful woman had repeatedly tormented Kim, ultimately orchestrating the kidnapping of their son Andrew. And it was here that Shane brought Kim, after she was wrongly convicted of that crime, for one night before heading to prison. Kim closed her eyes remembering those wonderful hours of lovemaking when Shane promised again and again that he would find Emma's true murderer, bring Andrew home and they would be together forever.

Driving through town, Kim was flooded by one memory after another - Victor Kiriakis' mansion, the Alamain estate long abandoned and boarded up, the church where they married and renewed their vows. Kim realized so much of Salem was a part of her and Shane's past. And through it all, both the happiness and heartbreak, there was one inescapable fact, an abiding love, and Kim wondered how much longer she could deny it.

It was near dusk when Kim pulled up in front of the house. It was to this home she had returned, hoping for a sweet reconciliation with Shane. Instead she found Kayla in his arms. That was the final question that remained unanswered. Could she forgive what could never be forgotten?

"I'm home." Kim shouted to Jeannie as she walked through the door.

Appearing from the kitchen, Jeannie announced, "Just in time. I made spaghetti for dinner and it's ready." Kim followed Jeannie into the diningroom and was impressed to see the table set for two, complete with candles, a glass of wine for Kim and a platter of spaghetti in the middle.

Kim took a seat at the table and after taking the first bite, complimented the chef. "Mmm, this is good. I'll have to put you in charge of preparing dinner from now on."

Jeannie's eyes widened as she quickly declined the cooking opportunity. "Don't get any ideas. Spaghetti is about all I can make." They both laughed and then Jeannie said off-handedly, "Dad stopped by today."

"Oh," Kim replied trying to sound nonchalant. "When was that?"

"Soon after you left. He just wanted to see how everyone was doing. I invited him for dinner but he declined. Said he's been awfully busy with work."

Kim smiled, not surprised Shane would come up with the same excuse as hers for his sudden absence from their lives. "Well, I'm sure his work will let up soon."

"Remember, I have that party tomorrow and you said I could have the car," Jeannie reminded Kim concerned she may have already forgotten considering how distracted she had been lately. "I'll be leaving a little before lunch time."

"Yes, yes I remember," Kim said with resignation, suddenly concerned what she would do all day stranded without a car.

The following day was glorious. It was the kind of summer day one dreamed of all year. A bright sun and an almost cloudless blue sky colored the landscape. The leaves on the trees danced to the gentle breeze blowing. For anyone else it would be paradise, especially with summer coming to an end. But Kim didn't notice. Her world had taken on a gray cast.

Jeannie departed right before lunch as she had planned, taking the car and Kim's only means of escape with her. Now, several hours later, Kim was still lumbering about the empty house. She tried reading but couldn't concentrate and the TV offered little to watch. She thought about calling someone to come visit but decided against it. In her current state-of-mind, she was hardly the best company. So instead, Kim was left to pace the empty house ... pace and ponder her situation.

She paused to look out the livingroom window and saw the comforting sight she had grown accustomed to. There was Shane's car parked in front of the guest house and Kim once again felt a wave of relief knowing he was still in her midst. Gradually, she found the feelings of anguish she had been experiencing disappear and in their place was a new resolve. She discovered a fortitude within her that she didn't realize she had. Taking a deep breath, Kim headed out the door and down the stone path.

She stood for the longest time at his door, hesitating before finally knocking. Shane answered within seconds. From his stunned expression, Kim was certain she was the last person he expected to find at his doorstep.


	18. Chapter 18

Can I come in?" Kim asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Shane blocked the doorway, still stunned by his unexpected visitor. For a moment they stood, neither sure of the next step to take. Then Shane replied, almost as if coming out of a stupor, "Certainly," and stepped aside. She walked past him and settled herself in the middle of the room. Shane motioned to the sofa but Kim shook her head, then took a shuddering breath. "Kim, are you all right?"

Uh, yes. I'm fine." Her voice quivered as her eyes darted about the room.

"Can I get you something? Tea?" He took a step towards her but in doing so, he unintentionally forced Kim to take an equal step back. She was determined to keep her distance. She glanced about the room avoiding Shane's questioning eyes.

Swallowing hard, Kim realized she had at last reached the point where there was no turning back. She stood resolutely, her voice suddenly firm and strong. She raised her chin and looked Shane directly in the eye. With measured words she began what she had wanted to say for so long. "You say I can't forgive you and I ask how can I?" Her piercing gaze challenged Shane. "How can I forgive you when not a day goes by that I don't remember how much I loved you, and loved being with you." Chastened, Shane cast his eyes downward unable to look at her. He felt the now all-too-familiar pain of sorrow and regret fill his gut.

Kim took another long breath. "Not a day goes by that I don't think about how much I wanted to always be with you, grow old with you, live all my days by your side." With firmness and anger in her voice, she concluded bitterly, "And not a day goes by that I don't remember how you ended it all."

Here were the words he had dreaded hearing. The finality in her voice made him lose all hope of them ever being together again. He desperately wanted to reach out to her, hold her, and kiss away all doubts she had about them. Instead he stepped back, defeated.

But then Kim paused and her voice softened, as she finally accepted a truth she could no longer deny. "How can I forgive you when not a day goes by that I don't think about how much I still love you and still want to be with you." Shane couldn't believe what she had just said. Hearing these words, his head snapped up. There in her eyes he saw the feelings he had so long hoped for.

Shane grabbed hold of Kim's shoulders and pulled her into his arms, crushing her lips to his. At the first tender touch of their lips, Kim felt the protective shell she had put around her heart crack and all the love she had for Shane came rushing forth.

Kim reached up and put her arms around his shoulders as he crushed her body into his. Their mouths grasped hungrily at each other, as if the next kiss would be their last. Shane held Kim tightly to him, burying his head in her hair, breathing in her intoxicating scent. Then looking deeply into Kim's eyes and fighting tears, Shane whispered hoarsely, "I never thought I would ever hold you in my arms again. Never be able to tell you how I feel. I love you so much Kimberly."

Fighting her own tears, Kim whispered back, "I love you." Shane seized her lips again and kissed her with such passion, Kim thought her head would reel. One kiss followed another as they became lost in their embrace.

Pulling back, Shane took Kim's face in both his hands and brushed his thumb along her cheek and traced the outline of her lips. "I'm so in love with you, I can't even find the words to tell you. Kimberly, it's always been you."

Hearing these words, Kim felt her heart soar. They gazed lovingly at each other, both knowing what they wanted, what they had wanted for a long time. Kim was brave enough to speak the words. "Shane, please make love to me." With one fluid motion, he swept her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom, their lips never parting.

Kim clung to him as he gently laid her on the royal blue quilted bed. He ran a trail of kisses across her cheek, to her ear and down her neck, stopping momentarily to whisper "I love you so much." They hurriedly undressed each other, neither able to control the intensity of the passion rising within them. Kim ran her hands sensuously through his grey-streaked waves, arching her body to his. Shane couldn't believe, after so long of wanting her, hoping for her to love him again, he and Kim were once again going to become one. An instinctive moan escaped from his throat as they became lost in each other's arms.

The rays from the late afternoon sun were peeking through the slats of the closed shutters, casting soft shadows about the room. Kim was nestled in the crook of Shane's arms, snug in his embrace, basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Shane let out a long sigh, content to finally have the love of his life in his arms once more, determined never to lose her again.

A silence hung in the room, only their steady breathing and beating hearts could be heard. It was as if neither was willing to break the mood that enveloped them. They simply lay in each others arms, Shane tenderly caressing her shoulders, Kim lightly nipping at his chest.

Raising her head to gaze at him, Kim was the first to speak. "Where do we go from here?"

"Anywhere you want, I don't want to ever let you go." He smiled at her and then gave her a long, slow, sweet kiss that spoke all the emotions he was feeling for her.

"Anywhere?"

"Anywhere," he nodded. "L.A., New York, London, even good old Salem."

"Even good old Salem," Kim repeated with Shane.

"Oh Kimberly, I have so much to make up to you. I could spend forever making up for everything I did, for all the mistakes I made.

"Forever is a long time," Kim stated, echoing words she had said so long ago at the early promises of love.

"Not long enough. I've been a fool Kim, such a bloody fool. But things will be different, I promise. I'll never hurt you again. And I'll never leave you."

"What about your work, the ISA?"

Hearing her question, he wondered if he could put the magnitude of all he was feeling in to words. Looking deeply into her eyes and stroking her hair, Shane replied, his voice heavy with emotion. "I'm through with the ISA, Kim. I've sacrificed too much, let too many things, too many people get in the way." Shane hugged Kim tightly to him as she closed her eyes to his words. "I cherish you Kim. All I want is to be with you, always."

Kim reached up and placed her hand on his cheek. He turned his head slightly to kiss her palm. "And I always want to be with you." These words, ones he had so long wanted to hear, filled his heart, and he captured her lips once again in a passionate kiss.

Kim gently pulled back. Her look of contentment changed to one of unease. "Aren't we forgetting someone … Jeannie?"

"Jeannie?" he asked puzzled. "What kid wouldn't be thrilled to see their parents get back together?"

"Our kid!" Kim's look turned to one of concern. "Shane, you were right about Jeannie. There is something bothering her and it's not a few cancelled father-daughter visits."

"I told you, we had a wonderful night when you were away. We really connected," Shane said reassuringly.

"Shane, one night does not make a relationship. I don't know what it is but she's hiding something. It's not a good idea to tell her about us just yet."

Shane looked at her and let out an impatient sigh. "I think you're overreacting."

"I know I'm not. Please Shane." She looked at him pleadingly, biting her lip. "Let me tell her when the time is right. Trust me on this."

"All right, we'll wait," he reluctantly agreed. "Just don't take too much time." Then he leaned in and started running a trail of kisses down her neck as Kim succumbed to the pure pleasure of being with Shane Donovan.

Jeannie sat on a rock overlooking the beach, trying to decide what to do. She wasn't having fun at the party. There were a lot of kids here she didn't know, almost as if they bussed in a bunch from neighboring schools and colleges. There was also a lot of drinking and considering what happened at the last party, Jeannie did not want to repeat the consequences. Her mother had trusted her to stay out late and drive responsibly. That meant a lot to her.

She hadn't seen Stephanie or Chelsea in a long while and was contemplating heading home. Just then Tim rushed up to her. "Here's where you've been hiding. Everybody's down by the cove. Come on, let's go." He grabbed her hand and pulled her down towards the beach. As they got closer, Jeannie could hear the sounds of _The Fray_ waffling towards them. Someone had really turned the volume up. Just as they reached the path heading to the cove, Tim turned off pulling Jeannie toward a more secluded spot. "Let's go over here for a while. It's too noisy down there."

Jeannie followed unquestioningly. Enjoying a little bit of peace and quiet sounded good to her and Tim had always been fun to talk to. When they neared a clearing, Tim pulled Jeannie down next to him and started kissing her. Jeannie had kissed boys before and although she hadn't "gone all the way" like some of her girlfriends back in L.A. had, she did enjoy the attention of boys and responded to Tim's initial kisses.

"Jeannie, you're so beautiful," he whispered between kisses. "Not like anyone I've ever known."

He pushed her down on her back and his kisses grew in intensity. Alarmed, Jeannie started to pull away. Tim responded by leaning over and putting his full weight on her. He reached his hand under her shirt which startled Jeannie. She tried again to push him away, whimpering "No."

"Come on, Jeannie. Stop being a tease," he pressured as he got more determined with his advances.

"No," she repeatedly cried, trying to squirm out from under him. He was strong and was firmly holding her down while trying to unbutton her shorts. She could clearly hear the last chords of _How to Save a Life _drift towards her. She cried out but they were too far away and the music was too loud, drowning any chance that someone would hear her. As Jeannie felt her shorts begin to slip down, she gathered all her strength and shoved Tim off shouting, "I said no."

Tim sat stunned. He watched Jeannie shakily button and smooth her clothes. She was fighting tears, her emotions torn between anger and fear. Tim started to say something about how sorry he was and he shouldn't have done that. Jeannie was certain she also heard him say something about not telling anyone. But Jeannie wasn't interested in his excuses or worries. She hurriedly turned away and marched up the path towards the party. Tears were streaming down her cheeks by the time she found Chelsea in a group at the cove. "What happened to you?" Chelsea asked.

"I'm leaving. If you want a ride with me, you have to go now," Jeannie said getting in control of her emotions.

"Jeannie, the party's just getting going. Come on, we'll find Tim –"

"No, I'm leaving now," Jeannie interrupted. "Find another ride home," she shouted back as she headed up the hill to her car.

When she got home, Jeannie was upset to find the house empty. She felt numb all over and her stomach was twisting into a knot. She really needed to talk to her mother. Kim hadn't left a note and Jeannie couldn't imagine where she could have gone. Looking down towards the guest house, Jeannie saw the light on and Shane's car parked in front. Maybe he knew where her mother was.

Kim was standing in the living area of the guest house, getting ready to leave. She knew Jeannie wouldn't be home for several more hours but wanted to be there waiting for her anyway. She was still troubled at how she was going to tell Jeannie about her and Shane. Despite Shane's reassurances, Kim knew their renewed relationship had the potential to cause problems.

"It will be okay," Shane said coming up behind Kim and putting his hands on her shoulders. "What matters is we've found each other again."

Turning in his arms, she looked at him and agreed, "That we have." Shane leaned down and gave her a long, sweet kiss. They were so lost in each other's arms that neither heard the door open.

"Oh my god," Jeannie cried.

"Jeannie," Kim gasped, staring at her daughter standing in the doorway.


	19. Chapter 19

Jeannie stood in the doorway staring at her parents, stunned and speechless. She surveyed the room, her lower lip quivering. Looking past them, she saw the unkempt bed in the next room and her shock immediately turned to distress. Maybe it was because of what almost happened with Tim or the memory of reading her mother's private journal returning. But suddenly her emotions got the better of her. Seeing her parents like this, in each other's arms, certain of what had just transpired, sent Jeannie into a rage.

"How could you mother, how could you forgive him?" Jeannie cried to Kim, her face twisted in a pained expression.

There was that comment again about forgiving Shane, thought Kim, still perplexed by it. Not understanding what Jeannie meant, Kim innocently reached out and gently grabbed her arm. "Jeannie, let me explain."

"No, I don't want to hear it." Jeannie flinched away from Kim's grasp, startling Kim with her anger. Then turning to Shane, her voice full of anguish, Jeannie lashed out. "So this is what it was always about. You just wanted to get back with my mother." She glowered at him defiantly, shaking her head. "I feel so foolish thinking it had been about me, that you genuinely wanted to be with me."

"Jeannie, please. Let me explain –" Shane said softly, putting his hands out to her, his palms turned up in a beggar's gesture.

"No, I don't want to hear your excuses," Jeannie interrupted sharply. She moved away impatiently, almost knocking over a lamp as she took huge strides, larger than necessary for the size of the room, to reach the fireplace on the opposite wall. Leaning against the mantle with her arms crossed, she looked from Shane to Kim before finally setting her gaze, full of contempt, upon her father. "You see, I know the truth. I know how you always loved Andrew, even when you thought he wasn't your own. But not me. You couldn't love me."

Shane stood stunned by the accusation while Kim once again tried to reach out to her daughter. "Jeannie, what are you talking about?"

"I read it all in your journal. I know everything." Kim gasped while Jeannie continued her tirade. "You thought I wasn't yours so you didn't love me. You turned your back on me, on all of us." Jeannie's slim shoulders shook as she desperately tried to fight the tears that were threatening to spill over.She fought the lump forming in her throat to get the words out, each one laced with sarcasm and anger. "And now you want to be a family. I won't be a part of it."

"Jeannie, stop it right now." Kim spoke firmly but inside she was trembling. At last she fully understood it all, Jeannie's belligerent attitude, her strange comments, everything.

"No, I won't stop!" Kim jumped at the intensity of Jeannie's outburst. "He didn't love me when he thought I wasn't his. Phillip always loved me and I was never his." Jeannie threw her hads up in frustration. "I don't understand how you can forgive him. You're a fool, Mother."

Unable to hold back any longer, Shane crossed the room towards Jeannie and spoke to her in a level voice, striving to remain in control. "You have a right to be angry at me. Fine, I accept it. But Jeannie, you have no reason to behave this way towards your mother."

With one final blast of fury, Jeannie turned again to her father and with venom in her voice cried, "Leave me alone. I wish I had never come to Salem. I hate you." She glared at him one second more before turning and running out the door. Shane was certain he had never seen such hostility in anyone's eyes before

Kim started to run after her but Shane held her back. "Let her go Kim. Give her time to settle down."

"Oh Shane, I'm so sorry." Kim sank into the sofa emotionally exhausted, putting her face in her hands. She fumbled for the right words to say. "When I wrote the journal … it was so long ago. It was a way to help … for me to cope. I never meant for anyone to read it."

"It's not your fault Kim, not your fault at all." With sad green eyes and a voice heavy with remorse, he said simply, "Everything she said is true. Every single word."

They sat together for the longest time, in silence. Neither knew what words to say that would comfort each other. The feelings of joy and promise they had held such a short time ago had vanished. In its place there was now only hopelessness and despair. Their plans for a bright future together had disappeared with the angry outburst of a young girl.

Kim was the first to break the silence, her voice tired and sad. "I better go and find her."

Shane nodded but as Kim turned to leave, he reached up and grabbed her hand. "We don't have to let it end," he offered, holding on to one last tenuous thread of hope.

Kim smiled weakly, shaking her head, before leaving.

She first searched the house and was not surprised to find it empty. Jeannie associated this house so much with Shane. From the anger she had displayed towards him, Kim knew it was the last place she would go. Relieved to find the car still parked in the garage, she continued her search in the garden, finding that too empty. Guided only by the moonlight, Kim followed the gravel path down to the lake, the one that Andrew so often talked about. There she found Jeannie sitting on the bench by the shore of the calm, still water.

"Jeannie," she said softly.

Jeannie looked up at her mother. Even in the moonlight, Kim could see her red swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks. "I know I shouldn't have read it," Jeannie admitted.

"No, you shouldn't have," Kim concurred. "There's a lot you don't understand."

"But he left us. He left you."

Kim stood nodding, wondering how she could make Jeannie understand. How could she make her understand that through it all, the unbearable pain and hurt, there was one constant, an enduring love that drew her to Shane. How could she make her understand that Shane was her best friend, her companion and confidant from so long ago, her one and only soul mate.

Jeannie refused to look at Kim, choosing instead to look down at her finger. She started nervously tugging at a hangnail on her forefinger, pulling at it as if the slight pain could make her forget the greater pain she was now feeling. She felt the wobbly, rotted bench heave under the slight weight of her mother as Kim took a seat beside her. Kim gently put her hand on her shoulder and with her other hand, cupped Jeannie's chin and turned her face so their eyes could meet.

Then Jeannie started to cry again, her face wet and twisted in pain. "I just want to go home. I miss home. I miss my friends. I don't want to be here anymore." With one final sob, she pleaded, "Can't we go home?"

Looking at Jeannie's sad green eyes, the ones that so matched her father's, Kim accepted that her time with Shane had passed. Seeing her daughter's anguish made Kim realize that no matter what hopes and promises she and Shane made to each other now, the choices they made fifteen years ago and the consequences those choices wrought still prevailed.

Reaching out to stroke her daughter's hair, Kim spoke quietly but assuredly. "Yes, we can go home." The two then sat there by the lake well into the night, Jeannie softly crying in her mother's arms while Kim wondered how she was going to say good-bye to Shane once more.


	20. Chapter 20

Kim put the phone down, having made the final arrangements for her and Jeannie's return to California. She had spent most of the morning booking the flight, arranging the return of the rental car and finally securing a driver to pick them up in L.A. Kim was exhausted and would have much preferred crawling back into bed, especially considering the fitful sleep she had the night before.

Kim had tossed and turned all night, desperate to come to some understanding of the last 24 hours. Was it less than a day ago that she had finally found herself back in Shane's arms? Had they really been making plans to be together always? And yet here she was, now trying to figure out how to tell Shane their bright future together no longer existed. Her concern at the moment was Jeannie. She was terribly distraught, actually alarming Kim with her level of distress. The divorce from Phillip had been hard enough on her and now this secret she had kept bottled up inside. Kim knew all about secrets – and the pain and destruction they caused. That was why no matter how much Kim loved Shane or wanted to be with him, she decided her daughter's happiness had to come first.

Kim reached for the phone again, to make the first of several calls informing the family of her and Jeannie's imminent departure. She let out a long sigh as she dialed the first number. "Hope, It's Kimberly."

"Oh Hi Kim," Hope answered cheerily. "Listen, can I call you back? I'm just heading out with Ciara."

"Can you give me a minute, please?"

Sensing her serious tone, Hope said, "Sure Kim. What's up?"

"Jeannie and I will be leaving tomorrow. We're heading back to L.A."

There was silence as Hope was taken aback by her announcement. "Isn't this awfully sudden?"

"No, not really. Jeannie has wanted to go back for quite some time and I need to get back home. You know, get things settled before the book tour." Kim was thankful Hope couldn't see her face. She was certain one look and Hope would see through this bald-faced lie.

"What about Shane?"

Kim tried to keep her voice casual. "I'm sure he'll finish his assignment here and then head home himself. Back to England."

Hope waited a moment to clarify her question. "I mean what about you and Shane?"

"We had a nice visit and that's all. I wasn't looking for anything more." She paused for a second to let that comment sink in. "I think all of you expected more." Kim swallowed hard afraid her voice would betray her. Feeling tears coming on, she knew she had to end the conversation soon. Taking a deep breath, she said, "I'll be at the pub around 5 o'clock, visiting Ma and Pop. If you can stop by then, I'd love to see you before I go."

"Sure Kim, I'll be there."

"Good! I'll see you then." Kim replied, relieved to be ending the call.

Her subsequent phone calls to the rest of the family weren't any easier and they all involved the same inquiry, "What about Shane?" That was the one question she couldn't answer, not to them or to herself.

Staring out the window that looked past the garden towards the guest house, Kim let her mind wander back to the beginning of summer. What had started as a quick visit home before her book tour had evolved into so much more. Although Kim had regrets for how things ended, her relief far outweighed them. She regretted that Jeannie was at odds with Shane but at the same time relieved that she no longer held this terrible secret. Kim hoped that in time Jeannie would find her way back to her father.

Kim hadn't heard any sounds from upstairs and guessed that Jeannie was still asleep. She decided now might be the only time she could talk with Shane, without upsetting her daughter further. Grabbing a sweater to ward off the early morning chill, she walked slowly towards the guest house, filled with apprehension. Ever since making the decision to leave with Jeannie, Kim had tried to figure out what she was going to tell Shane, struggling to find the right words to say. Now that the actual moment had arrived, she still was not sure. What words could she say that would ease their pain, explain away all the mistakes they made? But what Kim really feared most was how she was going to say good-bye to him once more? She turned the corner at the end of the stone path and came around to the side of the guest house. There she found Shane sitting on the terrace, his back to her.

"Shane," she said softly walking up behind him.

He closed his eyes and thought to himself how he would never tire of hearing her voice. But now he feared it would be silent to him once again. He turned around and Kim could see from his pale, washed-out complexion and sad, tired eyes that his night's sleep had been no better than hers.

Looking in her eyes, Shane knew immediately what Kim was going to tell him. A sinking feeling crept over his body as she spoke. "Jeannie and I are leaving tomorrow. I've made the arrangements."

Actually hearing those words turned the sinking feeling into a cold numbness that permeated his entire body. "It's never the right time for us, is it?" Shane asked with defeat in his voice.

"No it never is," Kim sighed as she took a seat across from him. "First my divorce and now this secret. It's taken its toll on her Shane. I don't know how long Jeannie has known everything. But she's upset right now and needs to go home. And I need to take her."

Shane studied Kim closely and felt regret come over him as he thought about all the pain he had caused her and now Jeannie, too. "I know you do. I always said you were the most nurturing, caring mother. I wouldn't expect less from you."

"Shane, I want you to know …" Her voice faltered for a moment as she reached out to grasp his hand. She breathed deeply to steady her voice. "I want you to know how grateful I am that we had this time together."

"Oh me too, Kimberly. Me too." Shane brought her hand to his lips and lightly kissed the back of her fingertips. With her other hand, Kim tenderly combed her fingers through the waves of his gray streaked hair. Shane briefly closed his eyes at her touch. He had grappled all night with what he wanted to say to her. What he needed to say. He only hoped he could now get the words out. "I love you so much, Kim. I don't know how I ever lost sight of that. But you never did. Not through everything I put you ..."

"Please Shane." Kim didn't want to bring up the past.

"No Kimberly, I need to say it. I may never have another chance." Kim could read the disquiet in his eyes so she slowly nodded, silently agreeing to listen to his words of remorse. "I put you through so much Kimberly. Here I wanted to be the one to care for you. I thought I would be the one who would always make you happy. And instead, I hurt you. I brought you so much pain."

Shane fought the lump forming in his throat. "First Emma, then Victor, even Eve. I always let that girl come between us over and over again. But you... you were steadfast and so sure in your love for me, no matter what." Shane's eyes were filled with torment from the memories now flooding him. Kim reached up with her hand. She wanted to stroke his cheek, hoping to dispel some of the pain she knew he was feeling. But Shane brushed her hand away, certain he didn't deserve her comforting touch.

"Then Cal. I should have been grateful you were safe. Instead, I was angry and spiteful. That made me want to hurt you. And I turned to Kayla. How could I betray you like that?" Shane choked on the words. His overwhelming pain was now obvious, bringing tears to Kim's eyes. She reached out again and this time Shane accepted her gesture, as if he could gain absolution from her touch. Looking deeply into Kim's eyes, Shane whispered, his voice slightly twinged with astonishment. "You never wavered Kim. Not ever. Everything I put you through and you never wavered in your love for me."

"You're my one true love," Kim stated clearly, with confidence and certainty.

They held each other's gaze, neither knowing what more to say to each other. Shane was uncertain how he could live without her, loving her as much as he did, yet knowing she was once again beyond his reach.

They rose and walked together up the stone path to the front door of the main house. Reaching it, Kim turned to Shane and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as Shane pulled her tightly to him. They held each other that way for the longest time, neither wanting to let go. At last they pulled apart and Kim smiled sweetly at Shane. After letting his eyes linger for just a moment, he leaned in and gave her a last tender kiss on her lips before turning and walking back towards the guest house alone.

Entering the main house, Kim found Jeannie in the kitchen, still in her pajamas. Jeannie was certain she knew where her mother had just been and looked at her tentatively, not sure what to expect.

"Good, I'm glad you're up," Kim remarked and to Jeannie's relief, added, "I made all the arrangements this morning. We'll be going home tomorrow. Now I have a few errands to run and you need to get dressed. Plan on heading to the pub around 5 o'clock to say good-bye to everyone."

"Mom …" Jeannie started to say something but when her mother turned to face her, she decided against it and instead said, "I'll be ready at 5."

"And start packing, too. It's an early flight tomorrow," Kim called after her before heading out the door.

Jeannie was upstairs packing when she heard a faint rap on the front door. She rushed down the stairs thinking it must be Stephanie or Chelsea checking on her. She had been quite a mess when she fled the beach last night. Upon opening the door Jeannie was startled to see Shane standing there.

"Can I talk with you?" Shane asked calmly. He had seen Kim drive away a short time ago and summoning up the courage, decided he needed to talk with Jeannie, or at least try to talk to her.

Jeannie frowned and without answering stepped aside to let Shane in. He headed for the living room with Jeannie following slowly behind, hands firmly planted on her hips, anger set in her hazel green eyes. Shane took a seat on the sofa and immediately regretted his choice. The plump, oversized cushions practically swallowed him whole and he found the effect put him totally off balance. It struck Shane as insanely funny that here he was, a man who was always so confident and never at a loss for words, whether he was in the company of diplomats or the most devious criminal minds. Yet this young girl with her insolence and defiant eyes could unnerve him, actually shake him to his core. He chuckled to himself at the irony before beginning to speak. But before he even had a chance to say anything, Jeannie jumped in and stated stoically, "I didn't mean what I said. I don't hate you."

Shane smiled uneasily, thankful for this remark. "I'm rather glad that you don't. But I wouldn't blame you if you did. Everything you said was true." He motioned to the armchair opposite him and Jeannie grudgingly sat down. Shane watched her closely over the pressed palms he held before his lips, contemplating what to say. "I had a wife who I loved, a son I adored and a beautiful baby girl on the way that I should have been grateful for," Shane began, his voice heavy with regret. "Instead, I threw it all away." He paused for a moment as the words caught in his throat. "You were right. I turned my back on all of you."

"But why?"

"Jeannie, I've asked myself that question a thousand times and I'm no closer to an answer than when I first asked it fifteen years ago."

There was silence as Shane pondered what more he was going to say. What could he say to make her understand what he did when he barely understood his actions himself? "I loved your mother very much. I still do. And I promised her that I would always protect and care for her. But time after time I failed her." He closed his eyes as images of Emma, Victor, Eve and Cal once again flashed through his mind like ghosts that were doomed to haunt him forever. Opening his eyes he leaned forward and spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. "Then this last time, when she was pregnant with you …"

Shane paused not sure how to proceed. How could he explain how he failed to protect Kim from a predator like Cal, and then justify turning on her himself. Choosing his words carefully, he said, "Well, let's just say I failed to protect her from danger once more and because of that, I thought I wasn't your father. I decided that you, this beautiful baby not yet born, would be a constant reminder of that failure."

Shane looked directly at Jeannie and shook his head sadly. "Why did I do what I did? I'm not really sure. All I know is I found it was much easier to blame your mother for what happened than to accept my own failure. With blame came anger and I ended up wanting to punish her. So I pushed your mother away and hurt her terribly." He looked at Jeannie to guage her reaction but her expression refused to reveal any emotion. Shane crossed and uncrossed his legs before proceeding. "By the time I realized my mistake, too much damage had been done. In the end, I lost everything. A loving wife, son and beautiful daughter, and a life that I so much wanted to live."

Reaching into his pocket, Shane pulled out a small drawstring pouch. Untying the strings, he opened it to reveal his mother's treasured cameo. He held it out to Jeannie. "This was your grandmother's cameo. It means a great deal to me. I once gave it to your mother with the promise that I would always love her and be there for her." Taking a deep breath, he continued, "She rightly returned it to me. So I'd like you to have it now. Hold on to it, Jeannie. And when you're ready to accept it, really accept it, know that I will always be there for you."

Jeannie carefully fingered the cameo. No longer able to hide her feelings, she stared at her father with tear-filled eyes. Shane instinctively reached up and with his thumb brushed away a tear that threatened to spill down her cheek. It was a simple gesture, like a father would do to a young child crying from a skinned knee. Suddenly Jeannie had flashes of a warm smile and kind green eyes, of running in patent buckle-shoes to waiting open arms and being lifted high into the air, of dancing together after a night of making omelets. And Jeannie realized she wanted to get to know her father better, this man who had so long been like a stranger to her. Maybe not now while her pain was still fresh, but sometime, sometime soon.

Shane took one more look at Jeannie before rising and heading for the door. "Wait," Jeannie called out to him, clutching the cameo firmly in her hand. He stopped and slowly turned around. They stood facing each other, as if in a duel, waiting for the other person to make a move. Jeannie knew she wanted to say something, she just wasn't sure what. Then it came to her. She bit her lip as the words nervously popped out of her mouth. "You'll come to my high school graduation next spring won't you?"

Shane's face broke out in a warm smile as he answered, "I wouldn't miss it." Jeannie smiled back as she watched her father head out the door.

* * *

Kim woke up before the alarm clock's blaring ring could jar her awake. Looking toward the French doors across the room, Kim could see the sky was gray and overcast, setting the appropriate gloom for the day ahead. She knew she should get up but the heaviness in her heart held her back for a moment.

Last night's farewell at Brady's Pub had been bittersweet, fillled with repeated promises and assurances of staying in touch and visiting often. Kim had been overwhelmed by all the people who came to say good-bye. But she was grateful that one person chose to stay away. Kim knew it would have been too difficult to see Shane once more. Fortunately, no one questioned his absence. It was as if they sensed it was best he was not there. Throughout the evening, Jeannie was unusually quiet, hardly talking, not even with Chelsea and Stephanie. Instead, Kim felt Jeannie's eyes on her all night, constantly watching. This only added to an already uneasy feeling settling over her.

Kim finally called it a night around 8 o'clock despite protests from Roman and Bo that it was much too early to turn in. But Kim was firm, insisting she and Jeannie needed to head home and get some sleep. So after another rousing Irish toast and wishes for a safe flight and successful book tour, Kim and Jeannie were on their way home. As sad as she had been to say good-bye to her family, Kim welcomed the quiet solitude her bedroom provided. She had hoped to drift into a peaceful sleep but once again her night was restless and fitful. She wondered if all her nights were now destined to be like that.

Kim heard Jeannie through the bedroom door, scurrying about the upstairs hallway. Tossing off the covers, Kim dragged herself out of bed. She opted for a bubble bath thinking the fragrant warm water would soothe her jagged nerves. She was wrong. It only served to bring up past memories of her and Shane together. Leaning back in the tub, Kim thought about their first date when she had retreated to a bubble bath just like this. She recalled how Shane had so ungallantly barged in on her bath, under the guise of delivering soothing bath salts, yet barely covering his eyes with the back of his hand. Only years later did he confess to Kim that he had actually peeked. Kim shook head, realizing she shouldn't dwell on what she could not change. That was the price of daydreaming, eventually returning to what is real and finding it seems just a little bit worse.

She quickly finished the bath, hurriedly dressed and a short time later emerged, ready to face the day ahead. She found Jeannie downstairs in the kitchen, already dressed, cleaning up her breakfast dishes.

"Can I make you something for breakfast?" Jeannie stood at the sink, with her back to her mother.

"No, it's okay. I'll grab something at the airport before we board the flight." Kim had no appetite and knew breakfast would only prolong their stay. She was already anxious to leave. "I'm just going to take one last look about and make sure everything is locked. Then we should go."

Jeannie waited downstairs while Kim took a final walk through the house. She pretended to check appliances and windows, but Kim really just wanted one more look at this home, her home. She slowly peeked in all the rooms until she reached the master bedroom. There she stopped at the door and breathed deeply before stepping across the threshold. Looking about the room, she allowed her hands to sweep across the mahogony chair and gingerly touch the crystal vanity set before her eyes settled upon the damask covered bed. Barely touching it with her fingertips, she closed her eyes as if taking notes to imprint some long-forgotten memories.

From somewhere far away she heard, "Mom, are you ready?"

Kim forced her mind back to the present and sighing, shouted back, "I'm coming," before heading down.

They had loaded the luggage in the car the night before. Kim had insisted upon it hoping to avoid any delays in departing but still she found she couldn't rush away. Even the light rain that had started to fall couldn't deter her. Kim took a moment to stand by the car and glanced towards the guest house before climbing into the driver's seat. When Jeannie had settled into the car as well, Kim drove off, oblivious to the pair of green eyes watching through the guest house window.

The ride to the airport was quiet, with neither having much to say. The only sounds were the steady beating of the rain and the windshield wipers whipping back and forth. Jeannie sat in the passenger seat, staring intently out the window, watching the rain pound the side of the road. She took a quick sideways glance at her mother who was staring fixedly at the road ahead. Usually one to make small talk, Kim was now uncharacteristically quiet, avoiding any conversation. But Jeannie welcomed the silence. It gave her the opportunity to replay the last few days' events in her mind. She wanted to make sense of all that had happened, from what had been said to what had been left unsaid. Through it all, she kept hearing her mother's words to her over and over again -- "_There's a lot you don't understand." _She looked once more at her mother and this time Kim met her gaze with a soft, reassuring smile.

Pulling off the exit, Kim and Jeannie found the airport busy, clamoring with travelers squeezing in one last vacation before the end of summer and others returning from some far-off journeys. Kim sighed deeply as she pulled into a long line of waiting cars to return her rental. She sadly realized this was not going to be some quick transaction. The car slowly inched along until it unexpectedly came to a standstill. Up ahead, at the front of the line, Kim noticed an argument brewing between the car rental agent and a driver.

"Oh, I think we're going to have quite a wait," Kim sighed. "It's a good thing we left early."

Jeannie ignored the comment. Her mind was elsewhere. So she and Kim settled into the now familiar silence between them. After fifteen minutes and barely moving a car length, Jeannie couldn't stand the tension she felt any longer. She turned to her mother and asked pensively, "Mom, what are you doing?"

"Huh? I'm returning the car."

"No, I mean what are you doing going back to California," Jeannie repeated, clarifying her question.

Kim turned in the driver's seat and looked at her daughter perplexed. "School is starting soon and you need to go back home," she said matter-of-factly as if she were stating the obvious.

"Yeah, I need to go back ... and stay with friends like we always planned. In a year I'll be gone, away at college. And you'll be alone, in a city you never considered home."

"I don't understand."

"It's simple, Mom. You don't belong in California. You never did." Speaking clearly, Jeannie stated forthrightly, "You belong here ... with him … with Dad." Jeannie uncurled her fingers to reveal her grandmother's cameo. "And this still belongs to you."

Kim looked from the cameo to her daughter and back to the cameo again, her eyes brimming with tears. She took the cameo in her hand, this treasure that she had cherished so long ago. When did her daughter get to be so wise, she wondered. Then Jeannie reached over and mother and daughter hugged as Jeannie laughed and said between tears, "You just remind him he promised to come to my high school graduation."

With tears streaming down her cheeks, Kim held her daughter's chin and smiled at her. "Come on, you have a plane to catch."

Kim carefully maneuvered the car out of the rental return lane and steered several lanes over to drop Jeannie off at the terminal. She had wanted to park and wait with Jeannie until she headed to the gate but Jeannie scoffed at the idea insisting, "You have a much more important place to go."

After more hugs and assurances from Jeannie that she would call as soon as she landed in L.A., Kim was on her way home, back to the man she knew she was meant to spend the rest of her days with, the man she loved more than life itself.

The rain had stopped as she pulled off the highway and Kim noticed the sky was turning from gray to blue. She felt her heart pounding as she drove through familiar streets and her breathing quicken as each turn of the car brought her closer to Shane. When she turned onto her street, she paused, and taking a deep breath, pulled the car silently up the driveway, the wet gravel muffling the sound of her tires.

She stepped from the car and breathlessly rushed to the door of the guest house, the anticipation of seeing Shane spurring her on. She rapped lightly on the door and at first there was no response. Panic gripped her heart as Kim feared that maybe she was too late … maybe he had gone. Then the door opened and Shane stood before her, his stunned expression unable to mask his surprise. Shane looked at her expectantly, uncertain what to do. Then Kim uncurled her fingers to reveal the cameo, her cameo, and they both smiled in unison. Breaking the silence between them, Kim said simply, "You have a very wise daughter."

Shane's green eyes crinkled as he drew Kim to him and their lips met in a tender kiss. As their kiss deepened, they both felt how right it was to be in each other's arms again. When their lips parted, they saw the powerful love they had for each other reflected in their eyes. Kim gently touched his cheek, murmuring, "I love you."

Brushing his thumb softly across her lips, Shane whispered back, "And I love you ... always," before sweeping her into his arms and carrying her into the guest house.


	21. Chapter 21

**April, eight months later -**

The heavy crimson velvet drapes in the bedroom were drawn closed but a small sliver where the plush material met allowed the early morning sun to stream in. Shane shivered and stirred, grabbing at the air as he realized his companion sleeping next to him had stolen the covers. He glanced at the clock and groaned, seeing the time was barely six-thirty.

Their flight home from New York had been delayed and he and Kimberly didn't land in Salem until almost midnight. After having spent most of the day stranded at LaGuardia, they were both grateful to finally arrive at the house. Dropping into bed, Shane thought how good it felt to be home, sleeping in his own bed, with the woman he loved so much wrapped in his arms.

Shane had to confess, Kimberly had been right. She had warned him that cross-country book tours were exhausting. Kim knew from experience how grueling they were and had even given Shane the opportunity to skip out completely but he wouldn't hear of it. Despite the hectic schedule, he would not have traded one minute of their time together. For the first time in a very long time, Shane felt complete contentment. He knew one reason was his relationship with Kim. The other was his job situation. He had absolutely no regrets resigning his position with the ISA.

In the beginning, Shane did have some doubts about leaving. Although he wouldn't voice them, he was concerned whether he had made the right decision to quit. He often wondered to himself, was he too hasty abandoning a job he had held so long? Kim must have sensed his reservations because she kept questioning his decision, assuring him that he did not have to leave the ISA for her. He smiled to himself, amazed at her intuitiveness. She did know him well. But in no time, all his doubts about leaving the ISA disappeared. He thoroughly enjoyed following Kim's book tour, though at times he felt more like an intruder than a companion. He loved seeing Kim in action, rushing from television interviews to book signings. He marveled at how polished and self-assured she carried herself and thought once again what a remarkable woman she was.

Yes, Shane thought to himself, a squire's life suited him perfectly. No more clandestine missions or dangerous assignments. He had sacrificed too much for far too long. Shane welcomed the opportunity to finally let Kim know, to actually show her, that she came first in his life.

Shane gently turned on his side being careful not to wake Kim. These were the moments he cherished, when he could watch her asleep, observing her in a way that was only for his eyes to see. Unable to resist the urge any longer, Shane leaned down and lightly kissed her shoulder. "I love you so much," he whispered. Stirring slightly at his tender touch, Kim curled into his embrace. Drawing her closer, Shane wrapped his arms around her incredibly soft body and pulled the quilt up around them both. Kim promptly fell back into a deep sleep and Shane chuckled at the sound of her slight snoring.

Now that the book tour was over, Shane was determined to change his and Kim's living arrangement. He thought of the black velvet ring box he had been carrying around in his jacket pocket for the last several months and knew the time had come to give the glittering contents to Kim. He desperately wanted to be her husband again, but ever since Christmas, he was no longer sure how Kim felt. Listening to her breathe, he let his mind wander back …

_**4 months earlier, Christmas at Donovan Manor**_

"_Kimberly, what are you doing?" Shane stepped into the parlor and was surprised to see Kim struggling to move a rather large and ornate wing chair across the room. He rushed over and helped her settle it in front of the fireplace._

"_I want the room to look perfect and the tree will look much better over there," she heaved, trying to catch her breath. "It's been such a long time since we've been together for Christmas." Kim paused, seeing the pain in Shane's eyes. "I just want everything to be nice. You know, for when Andrew and Jeannie get here."_

_Kim was right. It had been a long time. The last time just the four of them spent Christmas together, Jeannie was a baby and he had been with … well, he hadn't been with Kim. Shane shuddered whenever he thought about that time. He wished he could make that part of his past disappear but he knew he couldn't. All he could do was pledge himself to making Kim happy again. If that meant moving all the furniture, he would gladly drag every single piece across the room. But he much preferred dragging Kim up to bed. "Come here." He reached out and pulled Kim into a passionate kiss. "I think there's a better way to exert your energy."_

"_Really?" Kim could feel herself responding to his seductive kisses._

"_Hmmm," Shane mumbled as his kisses moved across her cheek and down to the hollow of her neck._

"_Hey, can you guys cut it out!" Startled, Kim jumped back at the sound of another voice. Looking across the room to the foyer, she saw a youthful replica of Shane standing beneath the archway. Except this version was a bit taller and possessed the broad shoulders that were a distinct Brady trait. But his waves of jet black hair curled at the nape of his neck just like Shane's did. And when he broke into a huge grin, Kim was again struck by how much his smile resembled Shane's. _

"_Andrew," she squealed, rushing to give him a hug. He put out his arms and mother and son held onto each other in a loving embrace. _

_Shane strolled across the room and greeted his son with a hug as well. "It's good to see you son."_

"_Hi Dad," Andrew said warmly, and then added, "Is Jeannie here yet?" He looked around the room then cast a questioning gaze at both parents._

_Glancing at his watch, a befuddled Shane answered, "Oh my goodness, I should be leaving now for Heathrow to get her."_

"_Hey Dad, I can pick her up," Andrew winked. "You know, if you have more pressing matters." Kim blushed knowing Andrew was referring to the passionate embrace he had caught them in._

"_No, that's fine. I think I can break away and pick up my own daughter." Shane affectionately slapped his son on the back as he headed out the door. _

"_So things are good between you two …" Shane heard Andrew say to Kim before the door closed behind him. Things were good, Shane thought, but he wanted to make them even better, as he patted the velvet ring box tucked securely in his jacket pocket._

* * *

_Waiting in Baggage Claim for Jeannie, Shane was a mixture of excitement and worry, uncertain what to expect. He and Jeannie had only been together once since their tentative reconciliation last summer. Kim's hectic book tour schedule and Jeannie's demanding classes prevented them from getting together during the fall. The only time they managed a reunion was Thanksgiving but that was in Salem with the entire Brady clan. It was nice seeing Shawn and Caroline and the rest of the family but the huge gathering really prevented Shane from working further on his relationship with Jeannie. Other than a smattering of phone calls, he and Jeannie hadn't really talked. So Shane jumped at Kim's suggestion that they spend Christmas together at Donovan Manor. Just the four of them. Even though Kim and Shane could spare only a few days from their schedule and both Jeannie and Andrew had already made plans with friends for winter break, all four managed to clear their calendars for a Christmas reunion in the Cotswold._

_As Jeannie stepped through the door marked arrivals, all Shane's fears and concerns vanished. Upon seeing him, a huge smile spread across her face and she ran unabashedly into his arms._

"_Hi Dad," she said hugging him tightly._

"_Hi sweetheart," Shane croaked, fighting to hold back the tears that had sprung up when she ran to him. He hadn't expected that from her but it was exactly what he needed. "Here, let me look at you." Shane pulled back and held Jeannie's hands as she stood in front of him. Standing there in her slim dark denim jeans with a camisole peeking out from under a burnished leather jacket and a wool scarf smartly tied at her neck, she looked much older than her years. Shane could see she was not a young girl any longer. Once again he was struck by all the years he had missed and realized all that he had lost._

"_Dad?" Jeannie could sense her father's thoughts were drifting elsewhere._

_Hearing her voice, Shane snapped back and gave his full attention to the daughter standing before him. He smiled warmly and reached to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "You look wonderful."_

"_Thanks. So do you Dad," Jeannie exclaimed and Shane thought he would never tire of hearing her call him Dad._

_Eager to get home, Shane reached down and picked up her carry-on. "Come on, let's get out of here. Mom and Andrew are waiting back at the house." Then he took her arm and ushered her toward the parking garage._

_**Later that night, Christmas Eve at Donovan Manor**_

"_Let's see, a hotel on Park Place. That means you owe me fifteen-hundred dollars." Kim smiled as she held out her hand to collect the payment from an almost bankrupt Shane._

"_This is robbery," Shane cried out indignantly. "We Brits are not good at building monopolies. I'm hopelessly out-maneuvered." Jeannie and Andrew laughed at his excuses while Kimberly waited patiently with an outstretched hand._

"_Dad, I'm half-British and I still have plenty of money," Jeannie giggled to a still indignant Shane._

_Shaking his head, Shane mumbled, "We should have played Clue like I suggested or better yet, gone to Midnight Mass."_

_Shane was alluding to their original plans for Christmas Eve. After dinner, they had planned to go to Mass but everyone claimed they were too tired from their travels so they decided to skip it. Besides, Kim reasoned, they still had to decorate the tree. She and Jeannie ran up to the attic for ornaments while Shane and Andrew dragged in the huge spruce that the groundskeeper had cut down the day before._

_They spent the rest of the evening decorating the tree and piling the gifts under it. Tinsel and ribbon were scattered everywhere. Shane was pleased with how the tree looked and especially impressed with the number of gifts stacked beneath it considering there were only the four of them. Patting his jacket pocket, he remembered the most important gift was not under the tree._

_Still not ready to go to bed after decorating the tree, Jeannie suggested a family game and although Shane preferred Clue, Monopoly was the almost unanimous choice. Now sitting here with barely a dollar to his name, Shane was eager to concede. "Let's call it a game." Looking over at the stacks of money in front of Kim and seeing the glint in her eye, Shane readily accepted defeat. "I acknowledge your mother is a ruthless land baron, the greatest wheeler-dealer ever and you two are future wheeler-dealers who will most assuredly follow in her footsteps," Shane ranted. "Now let's be finished so I can drown my sorrows in a glass of sherry."_

_Shane stood up and stretched, then strolled over to the cart to pour himself and Kim a glass of sherry. He looked back and Kim was smiling at him, her eyes dancing with joy. She didn't have to say it; Shane knew she was pleased to be surrounded by her family._

"_Hey, I know what we can do," Jeannie said excitedly. "Let's each open one present like we used …" She stopped short, quickly realizing she was referring to past Christmases not spent with her father. _

_Walking back to the table with the sherry, Shane broke the uncomfortable silence that had come over the room. "That's a wonderful idea." He held Kim's gaze to reassure her there were no hurt feelings. "Why don't you pick first, Jeannie?"_

_While Jeannie was perusing the stacks of gaily wrapped presents, Andrew said quite innocently, "So when are you two going to take the walk."_

_Shane and Kim both eyed him quizzically. "The walk?"_

"_Yeah, the walk. You know, down the aisle."_

_Before Shane had a chance to answer, Kim jumped in, startling him with her eagerness to dismiss the subject. "We're way too busy to think about anything like that." Looking directly at Shane as if seeking agreement, she continued, "We barely had time to pull this little reunion together, what with the book tour and all. The only walk I'm taking is up to bed."_

"_Hey, hey, wait," Jeannie implored. First one gift, remember?" Kim smiled and settled back for the gift exchange, not noticing Shane's worrisome gaze._

* * *

_The last few flames flickered in the fireplace, casting soft shadows throughout the bedroom. Kim and Shane lay entwined in the grand four-poster, sharing glistening skin and tangled blankets. Shane's hand gently stroked Kim's arm as she lazily outlined small circles on his chest with her fingertips. _

"_Mmmmm, that was nice," Kim murmured._

_Shane smiled and looked down, kissing Kim on her forehead. "The entire evening was nice. This is exactly how I always imagined spending Christmas. My family together, here at Donovan Manor." Kim softly chuckled at this vision, as Shane continued his musings. "You know, one day we'll be celebrating Christmas with grandchildren scurrying about."_

"_Oh Shane," Kim replied, as he leaned over and gave her a long, sweet kiss, as if sealing what the future held for them. But he couldn't shake the unnerving feeling that had been plaguing him ever since Kim's reaction to Andrew's wedding question earlier in the evening. Her eagerness to dismiss the subject kept nagging at him. He didn't want to spoil the mood but even their sweet lovemaking couldn't diminish the dread he was beginning to feel. If he had any hopes of getting to sleep, he had to take the risk and confront Kim._

"_Kim?" Shane asked tentatively._

"_Uh-huh," she answered sleepily._

"_I was thinking about what Andrew said earlier. About us and a wedding …"_

_Kim's eyes shot open. "Shane, there's no time now. We're in the middle of a book tour and I have all those rewrites due for the movie, too," she reasoned. "Besides, Jeannie's busy with visiting colleges and Andrew - well, Andrew always has something going on."_

_Shane was surprised at her excuses. "We're not talking about a huge wedding, Kim. A Justice of the Peace or constable would be fine."_

"_It's not a good time, Shane. Not now. Not during the book tour." She looked at him pleadingly._

"_All right. We'll wait." Shane acceded to her view but he couldn't help the sinking feeling that overcame him as he read the disquiet in her eyes._


	22. Chapter 22

Kneeling before the refrigerator, Shane rummaged through the shelves pushing aside jars and cartons until he found what he was looking for. "Aha, just what I ordered!" he nodded approvingly as he held up the bottle of champagne that had been chilling on the bottom shelf. As expected, Hope had done a wonderful job stocking the refrigerator and pantry. When Shane had called at the last minute and requested her help, he had been very specific about what he wanted, right down to the bottle of Dom Perignon, vintage 1996. He was impressed Hope had been able to find it and in such a short time. It was an exceptional and often hard-to-find vintage.

Besides the champagne, Shane was pleased to find eggs, kippers, scones, jams and an assortment of fruits and vegetables. He had everything he needed to make a sumptuous breakfast tray and he was certain Kim would be hungry. They each had very little to eat while waiting at LaGuardia and later they found the meal served on the flight home practically inedible. Shane realized the last time they actually had anything substantial to eat was two days earlier, at the publisher's cocktail party celebrating the end of Kim's book tour.

**New York City, two days earlier **

_The stooped, slightly balding and bespectacled man stood tapping his water goblet. "Ladies and gentlemen, a moment please..." There was a lull as more tapping on goblets hushed the handsomely dressed crowd that had gathered on the 36th__ floor of the Time Warner Center. The man's rather scholarly and less than commanding presence, made even more apparent by his bright red polka-dot bowtie and horn rimmed glasses resting on the tip of his nose, belied his importance. Jonathan Witt Taylor was one of the most powerful and highly regarded literary editors in the publishing world and Kim was forever thankful she had found him. Or rather, thankful he had found her._

_Kim had still been living in L.A., hopelessly trying to save her failing marriage to Phillip, when she first met Jonathan. She had already authored several academic articles that had been published by a small university press when Jonathan approached her about writing a self-help book. She remembered it happened at one of the many Hollywood cocktail parties Phillip would regularly drag her to. At first, she thought Jonathan was only humoring her to get to Phillip. Even Phillip, never one to believe in or support Kim's writings, was skeptical, certain Jonathan's true intention was to have a movie produced of one of his already published books. But Jonathan was persistent, insisting it was only Kim's talent that interested him. After many persuasive lunch dates and meetings, Jonathan was soon nurturing Kim's writing ability and Phillip's scorn. Not surprisingly, the publication of Kim's first and very successful self-help book coincided with the return of Phillip's roving eye. That particular fact, along with the book's success, made it easy for Kim to agree when Jonathan encouraged her to try her hand at writing a novel. She eagerly accepted the challenge and soon had another literary accomplishment to her name. Kim knew she would never have achieved independence without Jonathan's unwavering support. He was a good friend and colleague arriving at a time when she really needed someone to believe in her. Kim often likened Jonathan's friendship to her earlier friendship with Neil Curtis, who too supported her at a time when she needed it most. _

_As much as she valued her friendship with Jonathan, the strained relationship between him and Phillip had continually made things difficult for Kim. Phillip's petulant behavior and demanding nature often forced Kim to put his needs before her own. Jonathan would patiently stand by trying to be understanding when all he wanted to do was punch Phillip and tell him off. But for Kim's sake, Jonathan repeatedly kept quiet. So it was not surprising that Kim was both thrilled and relieved when Shane and Jonathan hit it off immediately. Kim suspected it was their shared appreciation for Shakespeare and sonnets that brought them together, as well as Jonathan having a penchant for all things British. But really, it was their shared affection and admiration for Kimberly that truly united them._

_Ever since first meeting Kimberly, Jonathan had been puzzled by what could have ever drawn her to Phillip. In an instant he could see they were total opposites, she so caring and compassionate and Phillip so selfish and demanding. Jonathan could never understand what would bring Kim to be with someone like that. His curiosity was piqued even more after meeting Shane, who seemed a perfect match for her. Jonathan had never seen a couple more alike. He had to admit they were both guarded yet, at the same time, so in tune to each other's needs. They were like bookends with one not complete without the other. He couldn't imagine what could ever drive them apart, that is until Shane inadvertently hinted at his and Kim's past. It happened late one night, after a few too many scotches. Kim had already gone to bed and Jonathan and Shane were having one of their usual late-night discussions on Shakespeare. This one was about King Lear when Shane uncharacteristicly broke into his own diatribe about regret. With his speech slightly slurred, he rambled on about deliberately hurting Kim and something about him being with Kayla who Jonathan knew to be Kim's sister. The next morning, Shane, now sober and contrite, was concerned about what he may have said. Jonathan, though surprised at the night's unexpected revelation, assured him all was fine but clearly could see that what tore them apart still haunted Shane._

_With the book tour coming to an end, Jonathan was convinced Kim had more stories to tell. That was why just a few short hours ago and eleven stories below, she had been in his office signing a seven-year, three-book deal. She remembered her hands shaking as she signed the dotted line. Now they were still shaking as Kim watched Jonathan move to the front of the room. He raised his glass as the tuxedo-clad servers hurriedly passed out champagne to the one hundred or so guests who had come to honor her. "I'd like to propose a toast to our guest of honor on the completion of her extremely successful book tour." Jonathan nodded to Kim and all eyes turned to her despite the wall of windows and a beckoning view of Central Park on one side and the Manhattan skyline on the other competing for attention. Kim shyly glanced down as Jonathan continued his praise. "Kimberly, you are an incredibly gifted writer and we are so fortunate to have you agree to continue to be a part of our publishing family. To Kimberly …"_

_Like a finely choreographed dance, everyone spontaneously raised their glasses and repeated in unison, "To Kimberly." Shane, standing beside Kim, squeezed her hand reassuringly and she smiled demurely at him. Thank goodness he was next to her, Kim thought with relief. Despite month-after-month of interviews and parties where she was the guest-of-honor, Kim had never grown comfortable with all the attention. Having Shane by her side, though, did help ease the discomfort. But this actual moment of calm was short-lived. Almost immediately after the toast, it seemed everyone in the room rushed to her, eager to offer their congratulations with hugs and kisses. Kim tried to hold onto Shane's arm but it wasn't long before he was shoved aside by the throng of well-wishers and soon vanished into the crowd. _

_After way too many hugs and what seemed like a million kisses, Kimberly finally managed to escape all the attention, finding a quiet corner away from the celebrating crowd. Shielded by an overgrown fern, Kim glanced about the room searching for the familiar head of black waves streaked with gray. She couldn't see Shane anywhere, not at the bar which had grown five deep or at any of the buffet tables scattered about the room. She had no idea where he had disappeared to. Kim had grown accustomed to Shane always hovering about and found she liked that immensely. She wouldn't admit it but Kim welcomed his leaving the ISA. The risk and danger of his missions had taken its toll on her and she was relieved to at last have Shane all to herself. _

_Taking one final sweep of the room with no success, Kim momentarily abandoned hopes of finding Shane in the crowd. Sighing, she turned and gazed out the wall of windows, marveling at the magnificent view. It was then, with her back to the room, that Kim felt Shane's arms slip around her waist. Closing her eyes to the familiar touch, she covered his arms with hers and leaned back to rest against his body. "I really abhor all this attention," Kim confessed._

"_I know you do." Shane tightened his hold on her, enjoying the closeness of their bodies. "But Miss Brady, you have little choice with all your talent and your many fans." _

_Kim smiled at his use of her maiden name. Although she had kept it professionally and heard it often, it always brought a rush of warm memories whenever Shane said it. Still smiling, Kim turned her head slightly to meet Shane's gaze. "All I want to do is go home to Salem and be with you."_

"_Well, you're in luck." Shane kissed the side of her forehead before continuing. "That's exactly where I'm headed. And I happen to have an extra plane ticket with your name on it."_

_Feeling his arms snug around her and his warm breath on her neck, she felt the familiar tingle come over her. "Oh, I know I'm lucky alright." _

_Shane raised his brow seductively. "Then, why don't we sneak away from this awfully boring party and have a party of our own. I just happen to have the keys to a delectable suite a few floors up." _

_**********************************************_

Wrapping a kitchen towel around the searing hot handle, Shane carefully lifted the cast iron pan from the stove and slid the just-cooked omelet onto a plate, then squeezed it on a breakfast tray already laden with a basket of scones and jams, a bowl of fruit and a pot of Earl Gray tea. Satisfied with his efforts, Shane tied the sash of his charcoal gray striped robe tighter and lifted the tray for the short journey up to the master bedroom. He was determined to make this a romantic morning Kim would always remember. Whistling as he carried the tray from the kitchen to the foyer, Shane passed the bottle of champagne now chilling in a silver bucket on the entry table with the velvet ring box he had been carrying around for months sitting next to it. Just as he was about to take the first step up the stairs, Shane reached back and grabbed a pale pink rose from the bouquet Hope had arranged on the table, and placed it in a vase on the tray.

Reaching the bedroom door, Shane paused at the threshold, taking a moment to drink in the sight before him. Kim was still asleep, her steady breathing the only sound emanating from the room. Her hair fell in soft waves, framing her face as they cascaded down to her bare shoulders. Even from a distance, Shane could see her eyes softly flutter and her mouth curl into the slightest smile. Shane wondered what dream she was dreaming. Smiling to himself, he hoped it was about him.

After waiting a few more seconds, Shane gingerly stepped into the room and set the breakfast tray on the bench at the foot of the bed. Stepping lightly, he settled himself on the edge of the bed and leaned down to softly place a kiss on Kim's lips, like a prince awakening his princess.

The layers of sleepiness dissolved as Kim felt her arms instinctively encircle Shane's neck and pull him in for a more passionate kiss. Shane deepened the kiss until suddenly, and to Kim's surprise, Shane pulled back and assumed a rather uptight manner. "Please Madam, I am only bringing you breakfast."

Her startled gaze faded as Kim scooted up on her elbows and looked past Shane, casting her eyes on the breakfast tray. Deciding to play along, Kim responded in a coquettish manner, "Breakfast in bed, Sir? Exactly what I needed."

Delighted at her playfulness, Shane leered seductively at her. "I'm here to cater to all your needs."

"All my needs ..." Kim replied breathlessly. "But first, let me thank you for the breakfast." Kim leaned over and planted a kiss along Shane's jaw line eliciting a deep moan from him before grabbing the lapels of his robe and pulling him back down on the pillows with her.

Shane responded with a trail of nips and kisses that started just under her ear and continued down her neck and across her bare shoulder. After placing a soft kiss between her breasts, Shane lifted his head and briefly looked at Kim with one of those looks that expressed all the powerful emotions one man could feel for a woman. Then he seized her mouth again grasping hungrily as their tongues swirled around each other's. One kiss followed another and Kim matched every one with a passion of her own. Their breathing quickened as their bodies melted into each other.

After their sweet lovemaking, with their breathing still rapid, they savored their moment together, never taking for granted the pleasure of being in each other's arms. When at last their breathing had returned to normal, Shane reached up and brushed a damp strand of hair from Kim's forehead. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" he asked.

Laying nestled in the crook of his arm, Kim turned and smiled at him sweetly. "Yeah, I've got an inkling."

Shane paused and looked deeply at Kim, hopeful at her last comment. He so very much wanted her to feel the depth of his love for her. Momentarily distracted, he grew silent as once again he thought about how much he wanted to be married to her.

Kim noticied his far-off gaze and turned her body to face him. "Hey, where'd you go Shane?" she said, interrupting his thoughts.

Turning his attention back to her, Shane put his finger under her chin and lifted her head up to meet his eyes. "I'm right here with you," he said earnestly.

"Good. Then how about that breakfast you prepared?" Kim asked as she sat up and slipped her pale pink satin chemise over her head. "Im famished."

Shane couldn't believe he almost forgot about the breakfast. "Oh yes, of course." He slid quickly from beneath the covers, slipping on his robe before reaching down to retreive the breakfast tray. "I have all your favorites. Eggs, kippers, blueberry scones –"

"Wait a minute," Kim interrupted. "Kippers are not my favorites."

Shane tapped his finger lightly against his pursed lips. "That's right, they're my favorites." Grinning, he handed Kim a plate already prepared without kippers, then slid back into bed next to her.

"Mmm, this is delicious," Kim declared digging into the breakfast, deliberately omitting the fact that the omelet was now barely lukewarm. But Kim was so hungry, she really didn't mind the cold eggs. Besides, she was touched by Shane's efforts. "So what are your plans for today?" she asked between bites.

Shane took a deep breath and tossed the last bite of his scone down on his plate. "Well, I thought I'd pay a visit to your baby brother this morning. Maybe he has some cold cases he'd like me to look over." Looking pointedly at Kim, Shane sighed and continued, "I can't live off your royalties forever."

Kim smiled at his comment. She did like being the breadwinner but knew Shane was getting restless. He wasn't one to sit by and watch others live their lives.

Shane took a quick sip of his tea before asking, "How about you? What are your plans for the day?"

"I think I'll work on the rewrites this morning. Then I plan to meet Hope for lunch."

Shane gestured towards the breakfast tray, now visibly depleted. "Be sure to thank Hope for getting all this ready."

"Hope did all this?" Kim looked at Shane a bit surprised.

"Well, not all of it. But I knew there wouldn't be any food in the house. So I called Hope before we left New York."

Kim shook her head. "It didn't even cross my mind to do that."

Shane brushed off Kim's admonishment. "You were busy. You had the book deal to negotiate … the cocktail party to prepare for … you had plenty of other things on your mind."

Smiling at his list of excuses, Kim tilted her head and then, without thinking, said, "You've become quite the househusband –" Kim stopped short. She couldn't believe she had said that. In an instant, with a slip of the tongue, the topic they had sidestepped for so long was suddenly out in the open.

This time, Shane wasn't going to let it slide by. "Not quite," he answered softly. "But I'd like to be."

"Please, Shane," Kim almost begged, "It's just a silly term."

"The term may be silly but the idea isn't. Kim, we haven't talked about marriage since Christmas," Shane said, his voice taking on a serious tone. "Now that the book tour is over, isn't it time for our wedding?"

Kim looked anguished. "Shane, it's not that easy."

"Of course it is. We love each other." Shane paused, momentarily finding the need for reassurance. "Don't we?"

"Yes, of course we do but –"

"We love each other and I want you to be my wife."

Kim spoke softly, choosing her words carefully. "Shane, things are good for us right now. We don't need to be married to be happy and together.

"Of course we don't need it," Shane reasoned, "but we should want it."

Kim proceeded cautiously, watching Shane closely. "I'm not sure I want it. I don't see any reason to change things, Shane."

Shane paused as the truth of the situation sank in. He felt his stomach churn as he realized the real reason Kim didn't want to marry him. He looked down for a moment and pursed his lips, then took an exasperated breath before looking up again. Shane didn't want to get angry or lose control. Gathering himself as he stood, he spoke firmly, almost fearful of saying the words out loud. "You still don't trust me."

"That's nonsense!" Kim immediately shot back as if the quickness of her reply could hide the truth.

"No it's not. You still don't trust me … and you don't trust my love for you."

Kim literally flinched at his remark. She wanted to say something, to tell him he was wrong, to reassure him, but she couldn't because Kim couldn't deny there was some truth in what Shane was saying. With her lips quivering, all she could do was look down at her hands, unable to meet his gaze.

Shane stood over Kim, staring at her, speechless and trying to process the magnitude of the situation. Despite his efforts, anger overtook him as he said bitterly and with resignation, "You don't trust me and you never will," before he turned and stormed out of the room.


	23. Chapter 23

Kim lay in bed listening to the steady beating of her heart, the only sound breaking the stillness in the room. It had been over an hour since Shane had angrily stormed out and Kim was fighting the sickening feeling that had come over her. For a while, she could hear him pacing downstairs and grimaced each time a drawer or cabinet slammed shut. Finally, Kim heard a door bang shut followed by an uneasy silence. She was certain Shane had left.

Tossing back the covers, Kim slung her slim legs over the side of the bed. Her restful night's sleep and the romance of the morning now seemed a distant memory. Suddenly Kim felt very tired, the events of the morning having drained every ounce of her energy. Stepping across the room, Kim reached for the matching pink satin robe that lay draped over the damsk-covered chair by the door. For a moment she looked back at the rumpled bed and the remains of the breakfast tray. Sadly shaking her head, Kim slipped out the bedroom door into the upstairs hallway.

She shakily crept down the staircase, holding onto the railing for support, the thick carpeting muffling her footsteps. Although certain Shane had left, Kim still called out his name. She was relieved to hear no response, not yet wanting to face him, leery of another argument. Postponing the inevitable confrontation till evening was for the best, Kim thought to herself. Then she'd have a little time to think and maybe come up with a way to make Shane accept or at least understand her decision.

Midway down the curved staircase, Kim spied Shane's black suitcase tossed haphazardly in the corner by the door. It lay opened with his clothes uncharacteristically strewn about. This was so unlike Shane who was always meticulous about his attire. Kim would tease him relentlessly about the way he folded and refolded everything as he packed. This disarray was an obvious sign to Kim that Shane had dressed and departed in a hurried frenzy.

When Kim reached the bottom step, she stopped short. Her eyes immediately fell upon the champagne bottle chilling in the silver bucket. She slowly walked towards the entry table, her gaze drifting downward, settling upon the velvet ring box. Kim felt tears come to her eyes and an awful pain clutched at her heart. With her hand slightly shaking, she reached for the tiny box. Taking a deep breath, she opened it and slowly exhaled. Inside was the most exquisite ring she had ever seen, a large oval diamond set low in a platinum setting encircled by a band of smaller diamonds. Her nimble fingers grasped it, taking it from its velvet resting place and bringing it to her face. She felt the coolness against her lips as she whispered, "Oh Shane."

********************************************************************************************************************

**Across Town**

Shane intentionally parked his car several blocks from the Salem Police Station. He needed the walk in the fresh air to clear his head and come to some understanding of the morning's events. He kept replaying the scene over and over again. Shane regretted losing his temper but he couldn't help it. If he hadn't earned Kim's trust by now, then he feared he never would. Mixed with his anger at the situation was an overwhelming sadness. It all seemed so hopeless.

Shane, walking but still distracted by his thoughts, didn't notice the dark sedan blocking the crosswalk until he reached the curb. Pausing at the last instance, Shane decided the car had actually stopped to let him pass and started to step in front of it. The car crept forward, its obvious intent was to block Shane's path. Momentarily forgetting his earlier anger, Shane now directed his fury at the driver. But before he had a chance to raise his voice, the driver, hidden behind a pair of Ray-Bans, spoke first, giving Shane a firm order. "Get in the car."

Shane was incredulous. "What?"

Still looking straight ahead, the driver repeated his request. "Get in the car."

Just as Shane was about to inform the driver he had absolutely no intention of getting in any car, the tinted rear passenger window rolled down revealing a familiar face from Shane's past.

"Shane, please get in the car," the back seat passenger said calmly. "We need to talk."

Shane blinked his eyes in disbelief and then without hesitation, opened the rear door and slid in. ISA agent David Halpern was one man that Shane trusted implicitly and if he said they needed to talk, then Shane would unquestioningly comply. "David, what's this about?"

David seemed to ignore Shane's query as he leaned over the front seat to confer with the driver. "Tyler, go west on 1-45 towards Brookville," he instructed and then turning to Shane, assured him, "We'll talk, just not here."

Shane knew better than to push David into talking. Whatever he had to say to him, Shane realized he would have to wait until David was ready to talk. He leaned back in the seat and looked over at his old comrade and friend. He hadn't changed much since Shane first met him, nearly thirty years ago. Back then Shane was the dashing young field agent determined to save the world while David had been the oh-so-serious man-behind-the-desk ready to provide the necessary facts and information Shane required to complete his assignments.

From their long association, Shane knew David to be a man of few words, one not inclined to small talk. So it came as no surprise the drive out of Salem, towards Brookville, was silent. After driving for quite a distance Shane looked out the window and noticed the cityscape had changed to greenery, tall buildings giving way to the countryside, and he wondered again what David could possibly want to discuss with him. Whatever it was, Shane knew he could trust him. He thought back to that nasty treason charge Emma had concocted with Victor Kiriakis to hurt him and Kim and remembered how supportive David had been during the investigation. David was, and had always been, a man of integrity, one Shane could depend on to be honest and forthright. Unfortunately, Shane had encountered far too many in the ISA who possessed neither one of those admirable qualities, not the least of which was his own ISA mentor, Chief George Nickerson. But Shane knew David to be above reproach and that had made him the perfect choice to lead the Internal Affairs department of the ISA. Shane knew David had passed up many opportunities to work in the field, even passed the chance at assistant director, to remain in his position heading Internal Affairs. In that post, David worked hard and experienced great success, repeatedly exposing and weeding out corruption in the ISA.

After traveling for over an hour, David finally directed the driver to take the next exit. The driver, obviously an up-and-coming agent, dutifully followed the orders and turned off the highway, cruising a bit further until David spotted a small children's park. Deciding this was a good destination, he directed the young agent to pull into the parking lot and the car came to a stop under a low hanging tree.

Even through the closed car windows, Shane could hear the gleeful play of young children with their mothers' voices calling as they chased after them. He and David stepped out of the car and started walking down a trail through the park, neither one still speaking. David was determined to find a place where they could talk without being seen and was not going to say a word, even engage in idle chatter, until then.

Agent Tyler remained in the car, waiting and watching. The ISA was still training good obedient soldiers, Shane thought to himself and then wondered, was he ever that way? As he walked towards a meadow with David, Shane remembered when he joined the ISA, following in Drew's footsteps. That was a first. But there he was, fresh-faced and eager, straight from his studies at Cambridge. It wasn't long before he overshadowed his brother, catching the eye of Chief Nickerson, who immediately took him under his wing, training him, grooming him for greatness. Shane never questioned Nickerson's reasons or motives. Rather, he was driven by his own ambition to be the best the ISA ever had. It wasn't long before Shane was tops in his field, becoming the youngest captain in ISA history. His pride blinded him to Drew's jealousy of his achievement. Shane's only regret at that time, his parent's boating accident and that they died before witnessing all his accomplishments.

Shane and David finally reached a small clearing surrounded by a grove of trees that seemed to suit David's need for privacy. The playground and children were out of their view but their laughter could still be heard. The happy sounds proved to be a stark contrast to the information David was about to share.

Turning towards Shane, he looked him directly in the eye and said matter-of-factly, "Drew has surfaced."

Shane's eyes opened wide at the news. This was hardly what he expected to hear. His initial shock immediately turned to skepticism. It was not the first time Drew had supposedly been spotted. Over the years since his disappearance, there had been other sightings and Shane, along with the ISA, checked every single one out, with all of them leading to dead ends. Shane even hired his own private investigators, fulfilling a desperate need to find his only brother, but they too always came up empty-handed. Intelligence reports concluded that Drew had died. Shane resisted that possibility, insisting he was alive, knowing that Drew, who could be very clever with disguises, was most likely simply hiding. But as the years went by and with so many experienced investigators and costly searches producing nothing, Shane eventually accepted the intelligence reports, accepted that Drew had in fact died. So it was only natural to Shane that now, after so many years, he should question this latest reported sighting. "What? Are you sure?"

"Yes, very sure." David was not one to make a statement like this lightly. "We have had several confirmed sightings."

"Where? When?" Shane tried to hide the growing excitement in his voice. "And why haven't you brought him in?"

"Every time we get close, he disappears," David explained. "We're fairly confident someone on the outside is helping him, ensuring that he stays out of our reach." That bit of information tempered Shane's excitement. He knew his brother was a man without qualms, too often tempted by unsavory forces. If someone was helping him stay out of sight, then it could only mean trouble. "But we do know he's been following someone," David quickly added.

"Who?"

David looked directly at Shane. "You … or your wife."

"My ex-wife," Shane corrected, still stinging from the morning's events.

David reached into his briefcase and pulled out a folder that he handed to Shane. Inside was his and Kim's travel itinerary for the last six months. A second sheet in the folder showed another person's itinerary. Shane couldn't believe what he was seeing. There it was, clearly printed in black and white. Every city he and Kim visited on the book tour was matched by another person's visit, most likely Drew's. Usually the arrival was a day later but sometimes only hours after, like a shadow lurking, a darkness spreading. Sadly, Shane realized this was not good.


	24. Chapter 24

Kimberly, late for her lunch date with Hope and out-of-breath from rushing, hurried down the steps and into Brady's Pub. It was well after two o'clock and the lunch crowd was long gone. Other than a few tables occupied by late-comers, the place was deserted. Kim, still feeling despondent over her morning altercation with Shane, welcomed the quietude that the near-empty pub afforded. In her mood, a lively, crowded pub was the last place she would want to be.

Caroline and Shawn had left hours earlier for a well-deserved afternoon break leaving Kim's brother Max to man the pub. "Hey Kim," Max greeted his sister from behind the bar. "I heard you were coming home today. How's it going?"

Kim took a seat on one of the stools at the bar. "Just fine," Kim smiled weakly, barely masking her depressed state-of-mind.

Max looked askance at his sister, wondering what could have gotten her so blue. He thought maybe lunch would perk her up. "Can I get you anything? Bowl of chowder? Burger? Today we had a great fish platter." Max tried tempting his sister with the day's lunch special.

"No, just coffee." Kim didn't have much of an appetite and she knew it wasn't because of the large breakfast she had consumed earlier. "Is Hope around? I'm supposed to meet her here."

"She's in the kitchen." Max poured Kim a cup of fresh brewed coffee and passed it across the bar to her, before he leaned down on his elbows and stared intently in her eyes. Maybe Max wasn't a counselor like his sister but it didn't take a professional to see that something was bothering her. Just as Max was about to probe, he noticed out the corner of his eye a patron across the room signaling for his attention. "Gotta take care of this. You're going to be okay?"

Kim brushed off his concern. "Sure. Go on. Take care of business or else Pop will have your hide. I'll be just fine," Kim reassured him. Max hesitated a moment more before he turned and reluctantly left to tend to the customer. Kim stepped off the stool and carefully carried her coffee to a corner table opposite the door. She wearily heaved herself into the chair propped against the wall to wait. Within minutes, the swinging door to the kitchen pushed open and Hope appeared. Kim looked up and managed a smile as Hope walked towards the table, grinning like she knew a secret.

"Welcome back," Hope said cheerily then looking more closely at Kim, observed, "You look tired."

"I am," Kim replied truthfully. She was tired but not from lack of sleep. "By the way, thanks for helping with breakfast."

"My pleasure. So …?" Hope looked at Kim expectantly. Shane, unable to contain his growing excitement, had confided in Hope of his plans to propose to Kim. From his phone call days earlier when he had specified exactly what he needed for breakfast, Hope had naturally assumed the proposal would occur their first morning home. But now, looking down, Hope observed Kim's ring finger was noticeably bare. Something had gone wrong. "Kim, what's bothering you?"

Kim couldn't hold in her feelings any longer. She needed to talk to someone. "Shane wants to get married again," Kim blurted out.

Hope tried to look surprised. "That's wonderful!" Then noticing Kim squirm uncomfortably in her chair, added, "Isn't it?"

Kim saw right through Hope's miserable attempt at acting surprised. "You knew, didn't you?"

Caught, Hope confessed. "Yes, but don't be angry. Shane was so excited, he had to tell someone."

News of Shane's excitement only served to depress Kim further. "I supposed you picked out the ring, too?"

"No, of course not," Hope defended herself. "No one has better taste than Shane … except you, of course."

Kim smiled at Hope's effort to improve her mood. "Kimberly, what's wrong? You love Shane, don't you?"

"You know I do. I always have." Kim stated firmly and with conviction. "I love him with all my heart. But marriage doesn't work for us."

"Oh Kim …"

"No, it's true," Kim protested. "We're together now and it's wonderful. I don't know why Shane wants marriage. It just complicates everything."

"Shane wants marriage to make a commitment to you. He wants to show the world that you and he belong together, forever. Being together, in love, is nice but marriage …" Hope's voice trailed off as she contemplated what she wanted to say and exactly how she was going to say it. "You know Bo and I have had our problems over the years. When Zach died …" Hope inhaled deeply before proceeding, feeling the pain that she had tucked away so long ago suddenly feel new and fresh again. "Well, I didn't think we'd make it together after Zack died. But it was our commitment to each other – and not just the words – but actually being married that got us through it. And that's what Shane wants for you and him, a commitment that will get you through the rough spots as well as the good times."

"It didn't before."

"But you've learned from your mistakes. You won't make them again."

Kim shook her head, torn by Hope's words. "I just don't know …"

"Hey, how are my two favorite girls?"

Kim looked up and saw her baby brother swagger over to their table. Kim sighed with relief, welcoming the interruption. Reaching them, Bo leaned down and kissed his wife before leaning over to plant a kiss on Kim's cheek.

"What are you doing here at this time of day," Hope asked, somewhat annoyed by Bo's unexpected appearance. With him there, Hope couldn't talk to Kim and convince her of the horrible mistake she was making. She and Shane belonged together and Hope needed to make Kim see that.

"Ouch, what kind of greeting is that?" Bo feigned mock pain.

"Hey Brady, I'm always thrilled to see you," Hope said, changing her tone. "So what brings you here?"

Bo took a seat next to Hope and across from Kim, then signaled Max to bring him coffee. "I was checking on a break-in at a warehouse on the docks and since I was down this way, I thought I would pop in here. Finding you and Kimber is just icing on the cake." Bo smiled at Kim.

"How was Shane this morning?" Kim asked, curious about Shane's mood after he left the house.

Bo looked quizzically at Kim. "Shane? I didn't see him this morning."

"He said he was going to stop by the station and see you." This wasn't good, Kim thought. She forced an air of nonchalance into her next question, shrugging her shoulders as she suggested, "Maybe you were gone this morning when he stopped by."

"No, I was at the precinct all morning. I'm telling you, he didn't stop by."

"But he said he would." Kim couldn't keep the concern from creeping into her voice. "He wanted to know if you needed help with some unsolved cases."

Bo was surprised at Kim's worrisome tone. "I'm sure he just got distracted by something. Bet he's planning some big surprise for you," Bo offered, trying to add some levity to the situation without realizing the irony. Little did he know the big surprise had already happened that morning. "You know Shane."

Kim did know Shane and it wasn't like him to be distracted unless he was upset. Despite her concern, Kim masked her feelings and calmly agreed with Bo. "Yeah, I'm sure you're right. He's probably home now, wondering where I am."

"Speaking of home," Bo turned to Hope, "I'm heading there now. Are you ready to leave?"

Hope looked at Kim. "We were going to have lunch and some girl talk."

"Hope, go home," Kim encouraged, sensing a chance to escape Hope's unrelenting pressure to accept Shane's marriage proposal. "I'm not really hungry anyway and I'd like to head home, too."

Hope pursed her lips, not pleased, not pleased at all by the change of events.

"Great, then it's settled. I just got to talk with Max for a minute and then we can leave. And Kim, tell Shane I have plenty of cases he can look over." Bo stood up and headed to the bar leaving Hope and Kim alone again. Hope, shaking her head, cast Kim a perturbed glance, irritated that Kim had successfully squirmed out of any further discussion. She wasn't ready to give up. As the words for one final argument were forming in her mind, the door to the pub opened and Kayla walked in. Suddenly, Hope had a new idea.

"Hey, what's everyone talking about?" Kayla asked innocently, as she came up to the table.

"I'm just trying to convince Kim she should accept Shane's marriage proposal," Hope answered matter-of-factly.

"Hope –" Kim shot Hope a disapproving glare.

"Hey, I'm not saying anything that everybody doesn't already know. You just have to look at Shane to see how much he wants to be with you." Hope stood up and grabbed her coat. "Now, I've got to run but remember what I said." Hope blew Kim a kiss before dashing out the door with Bo, confident that Kayla would now take her place and hammer away at Kim's resistance.

Kim turned to Kayla and couldn't help but notice the hopeful expression on her face. "Not you, too, Kayla."

"Well, I can't help but wish you and Shane were together, really together. I know if I –"

"Kayla, stop," Kim interrupted. "We've been through this before. It's not your fault."

Kayla shook her head at Kim's comment and looked away. She still carried tremendous guilt over how things had ended for her sister and Shane. Despite Kim repeatedly telling her that it was not her fault, Kayla knew differently. Maybe Kim and Shane's marriage had already ended as Kim had constantly reminded her. But Kayla also knew her affair with Shane had put to rest any hopes of a reconciliation. Now having Steve back in her life only compounded Kayla's guilt. Why was Kim being so stubborn, Kayla wondered. "I can't help but feel I'm the cause."

"Well, you're not," Kim stated firmly. "I simply don't want to be married."

Kayla brushed aside Kim's retort. "I don't believe that. You love Shane, I know you do. And he loves you. You two should be together… together AND married." Kayla leaned forward, her voice becoming almost a whisper. "Do you remember what you said to me when I first came to L.A.?"

Kim looked down at her hands, her fingers tapping nervously on the table. She was uncomfortable under Kayla's knowing gaze, as she thought back to when Kayla first arrived in Los Angeles.

**Los Angeles, 1992 **

"_I thought Stephanie and I could make dinner for everyone tonight. It's the least we can do …" Kayla offered as she walked down the hall of the neat little bungalow in Hermosa Beach that had become her home for the last month. Actually, it was Kim's home. When Kayla and her daughter Stephanie arrived from Salem, Kim had gladly welcomed them to stay with her. Although eager to accept Kim's hospitality, Kayla had been filled with so much guilt and self-loathing over her affair with Shane that she wouldn't allow herself to move in. Declining, she insisted that it would be too much trouble and much too cramped with both of them. But to Kayla's relief, Kim refused to accept any excuses and had Kayla and Stephanie move into Andrew's room while she moved Andrew in with Jeannie._

_In no time, Kayla found the sanctuary she so desperately sought. Kim's home was a warmth-filled haven, a needed change from the turbulence Kayla had left behind in Salem. Located just a few blocks from the beach, Kayla often found herself drawn there. Walking along the shore in the early morning hours, with the seagulls her only companions, Kayla could understand why her sister had chosen to make her home here. The steady rhythm of the waves and the clean salt air helped Kayla think about her life and the recent events that had profoundly changed its course. Much of the time she would think about her late husband Steve but more frequently, Kayla thought about the unforgiveable way she had treated Kim, and how she had come between her sister and Shane. Kayla couldn't imagine how she could ever make it up to Kim, but somehow, she was going to try._

_Reaching Kim's bedroom door, Kayla stopped in the entryway, surprised to see her sister dressed for an evening out. From her attire, a sweeping off-the-shoulder silk watercolor print dress, it was obviously going to be a fancy evening. "Oh, I didn't know you were going out."_

"_It's kind of last minute." Kim reached for a gold pendant and slipped it over her head. "But don't worry, I arranged for the girl next door to stay with Andrew and Jeannie."_

"_That's not necessary. I can stay with the kids." Kayla looked pointedly at Kim and asked, "Are you going on a date?"_

_Without looking up, Kim answered rather sheepishly, "Yeah, I guess you would call it that." Suddenly self-conscious, Kim nervously stepped across the room to her small, cluttered closet and, with her back intentionally to Kayla, started searching for a pair of sandals to wear. _

_Kayla stared after her wanting to hear more._

"_Well?" Kayla waited, settling herself on the edge of her sister's bed as Kim still searched in her closet. Kayla truly wanted her sister to be happy again and was intrigued by the possibility of a new man in her life. "Kim, do tell me about him."_

_Sighing, Kim stepped back from the closet with a pair of strappy gold sandals dangling from her hand. She still found the whole idea of dating rather preposterous but looking at her sister and seeing the hopeful curiosity in her eyes, Kim relented and decided to share the latest development in her life. "I met him a few months before you arrived. We got together a couple of times and then he had to go out-of-town on business. I didn't even think I would hear from him again."_

_Kayla paused and contemplated what she wanted to say. She was not sure she had any right to ask the next question. Biting her lower lip, she ventured, "Is there still a chance for you and Shane?"_

_There it was, finally out in the open, the name they had avoided mentioning for the past month. When Kayla had first called from Salem saying she was coming to L.A., Kim could tell from the sadness in her voice that the situation at home had become despairingly difficult. Knowing Shane as well as she did, Kim could only imagine that the accident and his subsequent confinement to a wheelchair had made things unbearable for the two of them. Kim found little pleasure or satisfaction in this. When she had left for Los Angeles, Kim had genuinely wanted Shane and Kayla to find happiness together. Then when Kayla appeared on her doorstep, holding Stephanie in her arms, looking so lost and forlorn, Kim could only think of one thing, making a new home for her sister. A home filled with joy. Soon they settled into a comfortable routine of sisters helping each other. There was no reason to bring up Shane, no explanation or excuses required. In return, Kim found she enjoyed being surrounded by family again. She had truly missed her sister and the camaraderie they had once shared. And so the past became just that … something long gone, shut down, locked up, boarded over. But now, with the mere mention of his name, the past came rushing back to both of them._

_Kim could no longer avoid it or her sister's question. Surprising even herself with the calmness in her voice, Kim simply replied, "No. No there isn't."_

"_Because of me."_

_Though it was the truth, there was no point in agreeing or casting blame. Instead Kim answered quietly, "No, it was because of a lot of things."_

"_You never think of going home?"_

_Kim exhaled slowly. "If truth be told, I did think of going back to Salem once. Right after the explosion. But I decided it wouldn't be fair to the kids. You know … get their hopes up." Kim knew that was a lie. She didn't want to get her hopes up. "It was better just to send Andrew to see his father." Hoping to end the conversation, Kim walked purposefully across the room and busied herself again at her jewelry box. "I better finish getting dressed."_

_Kayla was not ready to be dismissed. "So tell me about this new fellow."_

_Kim shrugged her shoulders. "There really isn't much to tell." She tried to downplay the significance of the relationship when in fact, since meeting, they had seen each other almost every night until he had to leave the country on business. Kim didn't want to admit it, but all the romance and attention he lavished on her was just what she needed to mend her broken heart. "His name is Phillip Collier and I met him at the beach. Get this, he's a movie producer. Andrew and I stumbled upon a scene they were shooting down at the beach. I guess I helped inspire one of his actors". Kayla's eyes opened wide in astonishment. "Next thing I know he's at my door, telling me he was compelled to track me down."_

"_Sounds romantic. Is it serious?"_

"_Please!" Kim tried to sound indignant. "He's a Hollywood producer, ponytail and all. I'm just a gal from Salem."_

"_So then there is still a chance for you and Shane," Kayla looked at her sister hopefully._

_Wanting to quell any further discussion, Kim answered matter-of-factly, not realizing her words would one day come back to haunt her. "If I thought there was any chance for Shane and me to be together again, once more be a family … well, I'd be on the first plane to Salem. Nothing would stop me from being married to Shane again."_

Kim looked up at Kayla. No words were necessary. In one brief memory, Kayla had accomplished what Hope had tried to do all afternoon. A long dormant feeling awakened in Kim and suddenly, she wanted to get home. She wanted to see Shane. "I need to get going Kayla," Kim stood and reached for her purse. "I hope you don't mind. I've been here much longer than I planned."

Kayla waved her arm. "No go on. Steve should be here soon, anyway."

Kim smiled at her sister, and then waved across the pub to Max before hurrying out the door.

**Park in Brookville**

Shane perused the file in his hand, code named _Missing Link._ That was an apt title for it, Shane thought, for in his mind, that was what his brother was and had always been … the missing link. Shane still couldn't believe his brother was alive. Drew was alive. Turning to David, Shane asked, "Where has he been all this time?"

"We're really not sure."

Shane shook his head. "There is any number of organizations that could benefit from my brother's special talents," Shane said thinking about all the terrorist groups that had sprung up in the years since Drew disappeared.

"Or individuals," David offered.

Shane's mind immediately shot to Stefano Dimera. He hoped his brother hadn't fallen under that wretched man's influence again. Then he remembered the last contact he had with Drew. That anonymous phone call to Kim's first radio broadcast so many years ago. Drew had assured Shane he was free of the Dimera ties. Shane hoped that was true and it wasn't Stefano again. But if not him, who was it then? Drew couldn't have stayed underground this long without help from someone.

As if reading his mind, David interrupted Shane's thoughts. "Do you know Sir Reginald Sinclair?"

"Reggie Sinclair?" Shane's eyes immediately registered recognition. "He was my father's best friend. They went to school together, first at Eton and then Cambridge. Later they joined the MI6," Shane explained, confirming what David already knew about Shane's father and his service in British Intelligence following World War II. Then with disdain, Shane added, "He was also my first wife Emma's godfather. He was so determined that Emma and I should marry." Shane shook his head, remembering with dismay how intent Reggie Sinclair was on them marrying. Now in hindsight, he could see how it almost bordered on an arranged marriage.

"Anything else?"

Shane shrugged his shoulders. "Really, not much more. He's practically a recluse now. I haven't seen him in upwards of twenty years. The last time was right after my parent's boating accident, at their memorial service. He now pretty much keeps to himself at his family estate in Derbyshire. Why?"

"Drew was recently in Derbyshire." Shane raised one eyebrow at this piece of news. "Soon after, Sir Reginald withdrew a large sum from his family trust. Maybe it's just a coincidence."

"Or maybe it's not," Shane suggested knowingly. "What else can you tell me?"

Shaking his head, David replied, "I've said too much already. Because of our friendship, I made the decision on my own to let you know Drew was alive. But this file is classified, for ISA operatives only."

Without actually saying the words, Shane knew exactly what David was asking and with a mere glance, David knew Shane's answer.

They slowly walked back to the car where the young agent, looking hopelessly out-of-place in his dark suit and sunglasses, still dutifully stood. Shane noticed David give the agent the slightest nod before slipping into the car after him. Then, without an exchange of words, David handed Shane the classified file and settled in next to him for the silent ride back to Salem.

Dropped off at his car, Shane decided it was now too late in the day to visit Bo. He needed to get home and hopefully, before Kim returned. Driving through the familiar streets of this city that he had adopted as his own so many years before, Shane couldn't help but think about the direction he had wanted his life to take and now, the course it was forced to follow.

Shane had assured Kim he was through with the ISA. He had told her over and over again, she was all that mattered. But when David withheld those classified documents, Shane felt he had no choice. Drew was alive and he had to find him. Those classified documents would provide an important starting point. Gripping the steering wheel in frustration, Shane realized that no matter how hard he tried, something always pulled him back into the ISA.

Pulling into the driveway, Shane was relieved to see that Kim's car was missing. Good, she's not home yet, Shane thought to himself. It gave him a little more time to figure things out. He wasn't sure how he was going to tell Kim of his renewed association with the ISA and he had absolutely no idea how he was going to explain that Drew was alive. And with Drew following them, he couldn't ignore the fact that Kim could be in real danger. Sighing, he realized that maybe Kim was right. Marriage wasn't for them. Someone or something always seemed to interfere. No, marriage would have to wait, Shane decided. And for the time being, he would keep Drew's reappearance and his position with the ISA a secret, too.

**Later that day**

Kim pushed open the gate to the garden and just as she expected, found Shane sitting at the black wrought iron table drinking his afternoon tea, his back to her. When Kim had pulled into the driveway moments earlier, she had immediately noticed the garden gate slightly ajar and rightly presumed that Shane would be there. Eager to see him, Kim didn't bother entering the house but instead parked the car and walked around back towards the garden, her head still a jumble of thoughts.

On the ride home, she had wrestled with a myriad of reasons why she shouldn't marry Shane. There was their history together, riddled with one incident after another of secrets, lies and betrayals, whether intentional or not. First, there was Victor and Emma, then Gabrielle and Eve, and finally Cal. And as much as she wanted to, Kim couldn't forget Shane's relationship with Kayla. But she also couldn't overlook all the countless joys they shared, either … falling in love in spite of her past, Andrew's birth, their wedding and just the pure pleasure of being married to each other.

Stepping from the car, Kim's heart was beating rapidly, trying to keep pace with all the thoughts and emotions still deluging her brain. Walking to the garden, she still wasn't sure what she was going to say. Then she pushed open the gate and saw him sitting there. Suddenly everything became clear. Kim loved Shane with every fiber in her body. Her love for him far outweighed any uncertainty she still held. Hope was right. She and Shane could learn from their mistakes and in the end, they would have a love that was stronger, a bond that was unbreakable. Kim couldn't deny it any longer. She wanted to be married to Shane again, commit to him forever.

Kim paused under the trellis and watched Shane as he drank his tea at the small table, his back still to her, unaware of her presence. She relished the feeling of love that now washed over her as she stepped out from under the arbor and into view. Surrounded by a cascade of pink and red flowers, she cleared her throat and said tentatively, "Hi."

Shane immediately turned in his chair. Seeing her there, smiling and looking so sweet amidst the flowers, he once more was struck by how much he wanted to marry her. But he curtailed those thoughts. There was no reason to let his mind go there again.

Their eyes locked and Kim paused for a moment, unsure what to do or say next. Nervously she managed to say, "I saw Bo and he said you never stopped by to see him."

Shane stood and walked towards Kim. Reaching her, he wanted to pull her in his arms and kiss her with all the passion and love he felt for her. But after the way their morning had ended, he wasn't sure. Instead he bent down and safely kissed her on the cheek. "No, I ended up not having the time."

Kim nodded. She was curious what he had done all day but decided not to press him. Anyway, she had something better to tell. Shaking off her curiosity, Kim announced, her voice rising slightly with excitement, "I've got something to tell you."

Shane placed his hand on the small of her back and gently guided her towards the house. "Me too," Shane replied.

"You go first," Kim offered.

"Well, I thought about all you said this morning and you're right, we don't need to be married to be happy. I agree. We shouldn't get married."

The pain that seized her heart was overwhelming. Kim tried to mask the feeling as she stepped through the terrace doors into the living room. Deliberately keeping her back to him and unable to trust her voice, all she could muster was a simple "Oh."

"I won't beleaguer you with anymore marriage proposals," Shane proclaimed confidently, certain he had said exactly what Kim had wanted to hear.

Kim swallowed hard as she forced a smile on her face and turned to face Shane. "Good. That's good to hear."

Shane cocked his head slightly. "You said you had something to tell me?"

Still smiling, Kim quickly thought of an excuse. "Oh yes. Bo said you should definitely call him. He's got plenty for you to do." As she finished her sentence, her eyes darted past Shane into the foyer where the now empty mahogany table stood. The champagne and velvet ring box were gone.


	25. Chapter 25

Kimberly knocked on her own front door hoping Shane would hear and let her in. After waiting a few moments without any sound of footsteps, Kimberly once again fumbled with her keys, struggling to open the deadbolt locks on the front door. The neighborhood was extremely safe but Shane, always way too security-minded, insisted on multiple locks. He had even added a new one soon after they returned home from New York. Kimberly knew it was his ISA training that caused this extreme cautiousness. Maybe Shane wasn't in the ISA anymore but once an ISA agent, always an ISA agent, Kimberly concluded. Finally, after much jangling, Kimberly succeeded in opening the door. Shutting it behind her, she leaned back and sighed, hardly surprised by what she found. As she expected, Shane was nowhere in sight but from the faint sounds emanating from down the hall, Kim knew that he had once again shut himself away in his study.

For the past month, since Shane had agreed with Kim that they should postpone, or rather eliminate all talk of marriage, Shane had kept to his study, working from early morning to bedtime. Kimberly would lay awake at night waiting for Shane to crawl into bed next to her, aching for his arms to hold her. The few times they had made love since the aborted marriage proposal, Kim had sensed a distance between them. It was as if Shane was holding back, intent on keeping his emotions locked away. She knew this guarded reserve of his all too well, a protective shell he would hide behind like an armor meant to shield him from pain, and it scared her. At first, she had casually suggested he was avoiding her, hoping her teasing tone would mask her real concern. But Shane simply reassured her he was only working on the unsolved cases Bo had given him and promised he would try not to get too overly preoccupied with them. For a few days it seemed to work. Shane would be attentive and Kim would have a glimmer of how their life together had been before Shane's marriage proposal. But then Shane would start spending more time in his study and before long he would again disappear in his study for hours, his words becoming empty assurances as the distance between them seemed to grow, the wall dividing them becoming impenetrable.

That was the reason why Kim had arranged to meet with her brother earlier that morning. Kim needed to find out, first hand, exactly what Shane was working on and why it was consuming so much of his time. Now, coming home from her morning breakfast with him, Kim was more confused than ever, no longer convinced by Shane's excuses. She remembered Bo's exact words clearly.

"_Kim, he took a few cases that we haven't been able to make any leeway on, that's all. But nothing should be taking up that much of his time. You say he's holed up in his study all day." Bo looked at his sister skeptically._

"_Don't give me that look," Kim shot back. "From the crack of dawn he's in that study, working on his laptop. He doesn't break for lunch and rarely for dinner. I tell you, if he still had his ISA communications room, I'd never see him."_

_Bo could hear the frustration in his sister's voice. "I don't know what to tell you Kim. I gave him a few cases, that's it. None of them should demand that much time and attention. Are you sure there is nothing else that could be preoccupying him?"_

_Kim stared at her brother and without answering him, remembered Shane's marriage proposal and thought to herself, "No, I'm not sure at all." _

That thought kept reverberating in her mind as she drove home. But now, after her talk with Bo, Kim finally found the resolve she needed to confront Shane. Before she had been too scared to challenge him, fearful it would open old wounds that were better left untouched. So rather than risk the pain, she reluctantly accepted the distance that was building between them, keeping them apart in their own home. But no more. Returning home, Kim was now more determined than ever to discover exactly what was driving Shane to stay in his study for so long. Maybe Shane was using the unsolved cases as a way to avoid her but he was going to have to face up to it, admit to it because Kim wasn't going to accept his excuses any longer. Tossing the keys on the front table, Kim turned and headed for Shane's study.

Deep in thought, Shane stared intently at the screen on his laptop studying the latest file ISA headquarters had sent him that morning. Upon hearing Kim's footsteps coming down the hall, Shane quickly closed the page with it disappearing just as Kim walked into the study.

She caught sight of the screen going black and for a moment was curious as to all the secrecy. Then Shane looked up and gave her the most disarming smile. For a moment Kim forgot her resolve, getting lost in his soft green eyes. But then she remembered what Bo had said. Kim was not going to be deterred from confronting Shane about all the time he spent locked away in his study, even if he gave her the most radiant smile, with his eyes crinkling at the corners just the way she liked. She walked slowly across the room and leaned forward on Shane's desk, meeting his gaze.

"So, how was your breakfast with Bo?"

"It was nice. He asked how you were coming along on the unsolved cases," Kim lied.

"Well, I am making some progress." Shane was glad he had taken the time to meet with Bo and get a stack of cases to work on. He had barely glanced at them but having those cases in his possession did give him an excuse every time Kim questioned the long hours he spent in his study. Shane hated lying to Kim but he needed the time to read and analyze the daily reports the ISA sent him on Drew's whereabouts. And this latest report detailing a new sighting was very disconcerting.

Kim held Shane's gaze as she cautiously proceeded with her next question. "You know, Bo was surprised how much time you were spending on these cases. Do you think they really require this much attention?"

Shane dropped the pencil he was holding and stepped around his desk towards Kim. "Now, now, I don't want to cast aspersions on your brother," he said as he put his hands on Kim's shoulders, hoping to once again reassure her with his excuses. "But remember Kim, these have been unsolved cases under his watch. I'm ISA trained," he continued, "and that means I may take a little longer, give a bit more attention to these cases. After all, I want to solve them." He hoped his earnestness would quell any lingering doubts Kim still held.

Shane pulled Kim into a hug and she sank willingly into his arms. She relished the feelings of their bodies so close together. It had been so many days since they had been close and Kim missed it terribly. Maybe it was just as Shane said … he was simply putting all his ISA training into solving these cases and his excessive time in his study had nothing to do with the aborted marriage proposal. She desperately wanted to believe that.

Shane held Kim close breathing in her intoxicating scent. For a moment he forgot all about Drew and the danger he posed. He only thought about how much he wished to be with Kim and how long it had been since they made love. Now all he wanted to do was carry Kim upstairs to bed and make love to her all day. But that wasn't possible. Not with Drew out there especially in light of the latest report.

Shane closed his eyes before gentling releasing Kim from his embrace. Surprised, Kim looked up at Shane questioningly, not sure what to say. The walls were once again coming up between them and Kim had no idea what she could do to stop it. Maybe news of a visitor would help, Kim thought.

"I got a call from Jonathan today. He has some business in Cleveland on Thursday and thought he'd stop here on his way. His flight comes in tomorrow morning."

Shane walked back around his desk and settled himself into his chair. Jonathan's visit was the exact opportunity he was waiting for and it couldn't have come at a better time. Shane needed to go out of town to check on this latest ISA report and he absolutely didn't want Kim coming with. Jonathan's visit provided the perfect excuse. "Darling, I need to go to Toronto tomorrow. Some family business."

"Oh." Kim couldn't hide the disappointment in her voice. "I'll call Jonathan back and tell him it won't work. Then I can come with you."

"That's nonsense," Shane quickly replied. "You've always wanted Jonathan to visit Salem."

"I know but he can visit another time," Kim reasoned and then for good measure, added, "besides, I miss you when we're not together."

"I miss you too but I'll only be gone one day. It makes absolutely no sense for you to come along and even less sense for you to cancel Jonathan's visit."

"But ..," Kim started to argue.

"No, I won't hear of it," Shane firmly interrupted, determined that Kim would not come along. "When I get back, we'll all have dinner together before he leaves. Sound good?"

"Sure, that's fine. We'll have dinner when you get back," Kim reluctantly agreed but wondered why Shane was so adamant about going out-of-town on his own.

**Toronto, Next Morning**

Shane drove through the unfamiliar streets of North Toronto, far from the fashionable lakeshore neighborhoods. The flight up from Salem had been a bit bumpy caused by one last push of cold air meeting the warm spring weather that had already settled over the city. But Shane hardly noticed the turbulence. He was totally engrossed in the latest report on Drew from ISA headquarters. He could only imagine one reason, or rather one person, that could bring him to Toronto. And it was the very same reason Shane had avoided this city. It had been some time – almost five years – since Shane's last visit so he wasn't quite sure what kind of reception to expect.

As he left the outskirts of downtown and drove through the northeastern fringe of the city, Shane noticed the finely manicured streets and luxurious highrises gave way to renovated duplexes and fourplexes. But they were still mixed with a good number of rundown buildings. Shane remembered the realtor, with his slicked-back hair and over confident grin, reassuring him how this neighborhood, with its close proximity to downtown and the highways, would be undergoing a revitalization with the city definitely pumping money into the area. But as Shane drove further from downtown, the streets and houses became decidedly shabbier, with very few renovations dotting the landscape. Most homes and buildings in this part of town still sported peeling paint and broken screens, with overflowing trash cans sloppily placed near driveways crowded with rusted cars and old pickup trucks. This was a neighborhood whose promised renaissance still had not come.

Following the directions from the GPS mounted on the dashboard, Shane drove down a dead-end street that ran alongside the highway. The large sound barrier wall cast a dark menacing shadow that ran the entire length of the block and barely succeeded in deafening the constant whirring of cars and honking of horns in the background. Shaking his head in genuine sorrow, Shane parked his rental in front of a fourplex which, like the other buildings on the block, had its share of peeling paint. This one, too, sported a broken window still waiting to be boarded over.

Shane slowly walked up the cracked sidewalk. The sole patch of grass, desperately in need of a mowing, was a tangle of weeds and dandelions. Standing on the stoop, he paused a moment before reaching for the buzzer marked _Caretaker_. He took a deep breath as he heard a mix of shrieking cats and footsteps lumbering to the door.

The door opened and there she stood, the daughter he hadn't seen in almost five years, not since the realtors office when he bought this building for her. He remembered Eve, all giddy and happy, repeatedly promising that now with this building to take care of, she would finally get her life together. Shane, though doleful and pessimistic, was still willing to try anything to help his daughter get her life back on track. Yet in those five years, Shane had only heard from Eve a few times, usually phone calls requesting money to fix the place. But now looking at its appearance, Shane had other ideas as to what she had actually used the money for. Certainly not the upkeep on this building.

Standing at the door, staring at his daughter, Shane silently chastised himself. He knew he should have called Eve more often, but the few conversations they had always ended in an argument. Eve wanted more from Shane than he could ever provide. He finally saw her neediness for him bordered on obsession and realized it was best if he kept his distance. He knew he would always provide for her financially, even buy a rundown building that he doubted she could maintain if that was what she wanted, but he couldn't give anymore of himself to her. It saddened him immensely but deep down he knew keeping his distance from her was best for both of them.

From the expression on Eve's face when she opened the door, it was obvious she was no happier to see Shane than Shane was to be there. She stood in the doorway holding the black cat, her once long blonde hair cut short and dyed a much too-brassy red. Her eyes, always her most striking feature, were now sunken and heavy lidded, as if permanently shadowed from years of drinking and drugs.

"Well, well, well," Eve said shaking her head. "It's been a long time."

"Yes, it has Eve. Probably too long." Shane hoped his conciliatory words would lead to a friendly visit.

"Come to check on your investment?" Eve asked, her question laced with sarcasm.

Shane breathed in deeply, uncomfortable under her angry glare. "No, I've come to check on you and to ask a few questions. Can I come in?"

"Sure. After all, you own the place," Eve shrugged as she stepped aside.

The inside of the apartment was no better than the outside. The new furniture Shane had bought five years earlier was haphazardly placed around the living room and buried under old newspapers, with dirty dishes strewn about. Adding to the mess were the three cats Eve owned, their litter box casting a decidedly noxious scent about the apartment.

Eve cleared a place on the sofa for her father but Shane declined. Considering the cold reception, Shane had no intention to stay long. He just wanted to ask his questions and leave.

Shane decided to skip the small talk, hoping to catch Eve off guard. "Have you seen Drew?" he abruptly asked.

The cat sprang from her arms. "Uncle Drew? He's alive?" Eve seemed genuinely shocked.

"So it seems."

"He's alive. I can't believe it. After all these years." Shane searched Eve's face, trying to discern if she already was aware that Drew was alive, looking for the slightest sign. For the moment, though, she seemed surprised but Eve was a good actress, that much Shane knew.

"I can't believe it. I just can't believe it," she kept repeating, shaking her head. "How long have you known?"

"Not very long."

"Wow. And you think he's here in Toronto?"

"No, not necessarily," Shane lied. He didn't want to disclose too much to Eve, in case she had indeed been in contact with Drew. The latest ISA file had definitely reported that Drew had come to Toronto. Whether he had made the effort to contact Eve, Shane did not know. What was unsettling in the report was that Drew had transferred a considerable amount of money from an offshore bank in the Cayman Islands to a bank in Toronto. It made no sense to openly transfer money to a public bank. It was a brazen act but so like Drew. Shane knew his brother well enough to suspect the transfer of funds was really a message to him. It was Drew's way of telling Shane that he knew he was being followed. Choosing Toronto, Eve's current home, simply muddled the message. Was Eve a participant in Drew's hiding or simply a diversion in his game of cat-and-mouse, Shane wondered. But what Shane did know was that a hunted Drew was a dangerous Drew.

"I just thought maybe he would try to see you, rather than me. You two had been close." Shane once again searched her face for some sign of recognition, something that would give her away as an accomplice to Drew's hiding.

"Well he hasn't," Eve answered, once more taking on a curt tone. "But I'm glad you came all this way to check."

Shane's eyes softened. He didn't want to fight with his daughter. "Maybe I will sit down and we can visit for a bit," Shane offered as he took a seat on the cluttered sofa.

Visibly surprised by Shane's gesture, Eve took a seat in the chair opposite him. For a moment they both sat staring at each other before Shane broke the silence. "So how have you been?"

"I've been fine," she answered guardedly. "I've been working a little, singing at a small club downtown. That kind of distracts me, though, from working on this place."

Shane smiled at her understatement. "I can see that."

"I hear you're back with Kimberly." Eve was eager to deflect the conversation away from her. She noted Shane's surprised expression and explained, "Every now and then, I hear from Andrew."

"Yes, we are back together." Shane didn't know why but it made him uncomfortable that Eve knew about him and Kim. Most likely guilt. Looking around the unkempt apartment and seeing Eve looking so tired and old, saddened Shane. He wished he had been a better father to her … to all his children. But he had too often lost his perspective. Too many times let other things take priority. Yet in spite of his absences, Andrew and Jeannie had turned out all right. Better than all right. As a matter-of-fact, they were responsible, well-rounded individuals. Shane knew the difference was Kim. Where he had always provided uncertainty in their lives, Kim in turn, had been the steadying force always providing loving support and guidance to them. She had wanted to provide that same support and guidance to Eve. But Eve repeatedly resisted and without intending, Shane knew he actually enabled Eve to resist Kim's attempts to help. Things could have been different, Shane thought. Things should have been different.

"Well, that's nice." Eve tried to hide her bitterness.

Shane was now uncomfortable with the direction of their conversation and decided it was a good time to leave. "I should be going. I do have a flight to catch soon."

"Oh, ok," Eve said with a hint of sadness. Despite everything, she still loved her father deeply and craved his attention. "Wait, I got a notice from the city about this building and I'm not sure what to do with it. I was going to contact a lawyer but … It's somewhere in my bedroom. If you can wait?"

"Sure, go get it." Shane was glad to be able to help his daughter, even if it was in a small way.

Eve left the room and while she was gone, Shane started milling about the room, absent-mindedly lifting old newspapers and magazines. Suddenly his eyes were drawn to an opened letter lying in a corner of the sofa. Shane reached for it, stunned by the familiar letterhead. But just as he was about to read it, Eve re-entered the room. Dropping the letter, Shane turned swiftly on his heels hoping Eve wouldn't notice where his attention had been.

"Here it is," Eve handed Shane the official looking notice she had gone searching for. "I have no idea what it means."

"I'll look into it for you." Shane quickly perused the notice before tucking it into his jacket pocket. He turned to Eve and smiled, hoping to hide his anxiousness. "Well, I'd better get going," Shane said as he headed to the door. After seeing the letter buried on the sofa, Shane was now more eager than ever to leave.

Eve walked him to the front stoop. They stood for a moment looking at each other and then Shane leaned down and awkwardly kissed his daughter on the cheek. "I'll keep in touch. Let's not let so much time go by again."

Eve nodded as she watched her father drive down the street and turn the corner. Returning to her apartment, she immediately went to her cell phone and dialed. "He was here, just as you predicted."

Driving through the streets of Toronto, Shane thought back on his visit with Eve. He still had no idea whether she had been in contact with Drew. But now what concerned him more was that letter he had seen on the sofa. Although he didn't have a chance to read it, the letterhead on it was unmistakable. And it led right back to Salem.


	26. Chapter 26 revise

_Author's Note: Oftentimes, I will take the liberty of going back and tweaking a sentence here, a word there. These slight improvements to my writing do not change the tone or direction of the story so I don't alert readers to these revisions. As I was writing Chapter 27, I realized I missed an opportunity to include one of those fiery, passionate arguments that Kim and Shane were so good at (and their subsequent passionate make-ups) and found that it became an integral part of the storyline. So I am alerting readers to the revision and take the time to read it if you so choose. Hopefully, Chapter 27 will be forthcoming soon._

Kimberly walked around the hedge that surrounded the back garden, skirting at the last moment a branch that stuck out onto the cobblestone path leading to the guesthouse. She looked around and sighed deeply. The grounds were sorely in need of attention. The hedges were overgrown and the trees needed extensive trimming. Kimberly had already put some effort into her garden, weeding and pruning it, since they returned from New York but had overlooked the rest of the grounds. It wasn't entirely her fault the grounds looked so unkempt, she thought to herself. Shane always insisted he was the one that should take care of that, conferring and arranging with the groundskeeper for the upkeep of the house and the surrounding yard, always following a strict timetable, ensuring everything got done in a timely manner. Kimberly never once thought of impinging on this area of his expertise, knowing almost intuitively the great pride he took in maintaining his home. But Shane had been so distracted of late that little had been done since their return and now the grounds showed the obvious neglect. It was just another sign of his inattentiveness. As Kim walked on towards the guesthouse, she made a mental note to call the groundskeeper later that day.

As she approached the guesthouse, she saw Jonathan, her publisher, on the terrace having his morning tea. She chuckled at the sight. Jonathan always said he preferred tea-drinking, finding it much more civilized than coffee. Though born and bred in upstate New York, Jonathan seemed to have an affinity for all things British. Maybe that was why he and Shane had gotten on so well in such a short time.

Kimberly was extremely glad and flattered by Jonathan's visit. With his busy schedule, she knew it had taken a great deal of effort on his part to squeeze in this stopover in Salem, even if it was only overnight. Although it was never spoken, Kim knew that it was Jonathan's deep affection for her and Shane that brought him here. That was why Kim was almost embarrassed to tell Jonathan that Shane had gone out-of-town unexpectedly. When she picked him up at the airport that morning, she could tell that Jonathan was disappointed at the news. It was obvious he had hoped to visit with both of them. Kim assured him that Shane promised he would be back late in the afternoon and hoped she was right. Shane's behavior of late had been so erratic, Kim wasn't sure of anything he said anymore, least of all his promises.

"Hey there," Kim waved as she reached the steps to the terrace. "Pretending to be an Englishman again," she teased.

Jonathan raised his cup to her and grinned. "Pretense nothing. Please come join me."

Kim smiled back and took the seat opposite him. She reached for the teapot and poured herself a cup of Earl Grey. "So are you ready to head out and meet my family?"

"Oh, the famous Brady clan I've heard so much about. Ready and eager." Then Jonathan paused and reached for Kim's hand. "But first, are you going to tell me what is bothering you?"

Up until then, Kim hadn't realized how much she needed a friendly face to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on. Suddenly, she wanted to bare all. "You know me so well." Since his arrival, Jonathan could tell something was wrong. Even Kim's friendly chatter and usual effervescent smile couldn't mask the underlying darkness plaguing her mood.

"It's a publisher's job - to hold the whip when I need you to write and to lend a sympathetic ear when you need to talk. So what is weighing so heavily upon your soul my dear Kimberly?"

"Shane," she answered quietly, as if that one word would say it all.

"Shane!" Jonathan couldn't hide the shock in his voice. He knew from his long talks with Shane how devoted he was to Kimberly. Jonathan couldn't imagine anything Shane could do that would upset Kimberly so. "What has my comrade Shane done to make you so down in the mouth?"

She took a sip of her tea before answering. "He asked me to marry him."

"Wonderful!" Then he saw Kim squirm in her chair. "Not wonderful?"

"No, not wonderful at all. I should have expected it, the proposal, I mean. But I didn't so when he asked, I wasn't prepared. I said no." Kim looked up and met Jonathan's surprised gaze but he offered no comment, neither one of comfort or disdain, so Kim continued. "I said I didn't think we needed marriage to be together. Then later, after thinking about it, I changed my mind. I wanted to tell him yes. I decided we should get married but by then he had changed his mind, too. He said he agreed with me, that we didn't need to be married after all." Kim's voice trailed off, as if the hopelessness of the situation had drained all the spirit from her.

Jonathan shook his head slowly. "Kimberly, you must tell him how you now feel."

"But that's just it," she replied desperately, "I don't know how I feel. Maybe we shouldn't get married and if Shane finally sees it the same as I do, well I don't see any reason to rock the boat. I should be thankful we're in agreement."

"But you're not thankful …"

Kim pursed her lips in frustration. "It would be fine except …ever since that day, Shane has been distant, as if he's put up a wall between us. When I try to reach him, he reassures me everything is fine. And for awhile it is fine and then the wall goes back up. Like this trip of his. I told him you were coming and suddenly he needs to go out of town. He was actually insistent upon going."

"Kimberly," Jonathan said in his most paternal tone, "you need to talk to Shane or you're putting up walls yourself."

"I don't know. I just don't know."

"You do know, Kimberly," Jonathan said firmly, trying to conjure up his most paternal tone. "It's taken a long time for you and Shane to be together again. You've overcome so many obstacles. You love him and he loves you. Are you going to jeopardize it … risk all … over a misunderstanding?" She did not reply and Jonathan thought perhaps his words were too personal, revealed too much of what he knew or had surmised of their relationship. "Kimberly …"

She nodded without looking at him. "Maybe you're right." Then meeting his worrisome gaze and wanting to quell his concern, Kimberly added, "I'll think about what you said. But please … don't say anything to Shane."

They finished their tea before heading to Brady's Pub, taking effort to now keep the conversation lighthearted, and avoiding further mention of Shane.

**Later that evening**

If Shane had caught the early afternoon flight home as he had planned, he would have arrived in Salem late in the afternoon as he had promised. But seeing that letter in Eve's apartment had unsettled him enough that he felt compelled to fly first to ISA headquarters in Washington. He knew he needed to confer with agent David Halpern on what it could mean. Halpern's eyes went wide at the news of the letter but unfortunately could offer no insight to its meaning. After a frustrating debriefing, Shane caught the late afternoon flight home filled with more questions, few answers and certain of an expected coolness from Kimberly.

Shane knew he had let Kimberly down by not being there when Jonathan arrived and his late return home – much later than promised – he was certain had further irked her. To alleviate some of the anticipated anger, Shane had quickly called home when he arrived in D.C. making up some silly excuse about a banker not being available as planned that was causing a delay in his planned departure. Kimberly seemed to accept his explanation and assured him they would wait supper and dine later when he arrived. From the sharpness in her tone, Shane knew she was angry, or if not angry, certainly disappointed.

So it was with a mixture of excitement at seeing Jonathan again and trepidation at facing Kim that Shane entered his home much later than expected. He found Kim and Jonathan in the living room sharing a bottle of wine.

"Oh Shane, finally! I was beginning to think you would never get home." Shane leaned down and gave Kim a perfunctory kiss on the cheek and though her tone was warm he could tell by her gaze that she was not happy with him. But Kim knew it wasn't the right time to challenge Shane or have cross words. That could come later. Kim had manners enough to disguise her feelings for Jonathan's sake.

Shane reached across to shake Jonathan's hand. Even though Kimberly was a good actress, Jonathan was perceptive enough to note the tension between them. "It's good to see you, Jonathan. I am so sorry for being late but you know bankers … they operate on their own schedule." Shane decided to continue with his fabricated tale. He waved his hand, dismissing the glass of wine Kim offered and instead said, "Let's head to dinner. It's been a long day and I am famished."

The earlier tension diffused once they reached the restaurant and dinner turned into an evening of enjoyable conversation. It was a welcome change from the strain of Shane's encounter with Eve and the rest of the day's frustrations. Shane had quite forgotten the bon vivant that Jonathan was and the whole evening was filled with laughter as Jonathan cajoled them with tales from his recent travels. It was a happy night but it also made Shane sad. A heaviness fell over him as he thought, _"this is the life I wanted to live … evenings spent with Kimberly, laughing with friends, being home with family … not lying to Kimberly, chasing a phantom brother, being tangled with the ISA again."_

"… so if you gentlemen will excuse me." Kim's words interrupted Shane's thoughts. Both men rose as Kim headed to the powder room, finally giving Jonathan an opportunity to talk to Shane alone.

Jonathan patiently waited until Kimberly was out of earshot and then turned to Shane. "So, you and Kim have decided to settle in Salem?"

"For the time being, at least. It's really her home and, in many ways, my home, too." Shane reached for the bottle of cabernet and starting refilling his and Kim's glass.

"Kim told me the two of you had talked about marriage." Jonathan broached the subject carefully.

Shane stopped in mid-pour and looked up tentatively, meeting Jonathan's knowing gaze. "We decided marriage wasn't for us."

"Really …" Jonathan gently prodded.

Shane smiled. "Yes, really. Kim doesn't want marriage and I tend to agree. We've tried it before and it didn't work. I think the way things stand is for the best."

Jonathan wasn't ready to accept that decision. If Kim wasn't willing to break down the wall growing between her and Shane, Jonathan was going to do his best to dismantle it. Unfortunately, not betraying Kim's confidence made it extremely difficult. "Shane, it's taken a long time for you and Kimberly to get back together. It's understandable to be fearful of failure again." Jonathan paused but only for a moment. He knew he had little time to say what he wanted before Kimberly returned. "Don't let Kimberly's fears prevent you from having what is best for both of you."

"I appreciate your concern Jonathan, I really do. But I think I know what is best for both Kimberly and me." Just as Shane finished his sentence, Kimberly came walking towards the table and the conversation once again turned to lighthearted banter.

* * *

Shane slowly closed and locked the front door, the deadbolt's click sounding louder than usual in the deafening silence that had settled over the hall. Kim, without saying a word, had walked on ahead of Shane and was already in the living room while Shane still worked the final locks on the door. As he finished securing the last one, he sighed deeply, well aware of the anger that awaited him in the next room.

He was tired from the long day and really just wanted to go upstairs to bed. Up until now, he hadn't quite realized how much his confrontation with Eve had drained him. His subsequent encounter at ISA headquarters had only added to his exhaustion. But Shane knew he had one more confrontation to face and she was waiting for him in the next room.

The drive home from the restaurant had been fine, a continuation of the pleasantries that had marked the entire dinner. Jonathan, sitting in the back seat of Shane's BMW, still seemed to carry most of the conversation, filling an uncharacteristic void that had rarely existed between Kim and Shane. And Kim had responded to his comments with smiles and even an occasional laugh. But Shane was perceptive enough to know it was only a facade, hiding an anger simmering beneath the surface. It was an anger Shane couldn't dismiss because he knew it was based on disappointment and Shane had to acknowledge, at least to himself, that Kim was justified to feel that way.

As soon as they dropped Jonathan off at the guest house, a silence had settled over the car. Now Shane had to face the silence and try reaching Kim once again. But as his secrets and her disappointments continued to mount, that task was getting harder and harder to do.

He reluctantly walked towards the living room, his usual purposeful strides now intentionally slow. He stopped at the entry way and noted Kim was standing at the window, looking out at the darkness. Her arms were at her side and Shane noticed she was clenching and unclenching her fists.

"Kim …" Her shoulders stiffened at the sound of his voice and she continued looking out the window, her back intentionally to him. "Kim, I explained. I told you how the banker…"

"I know what you told me," Kim interrupted, her voice seething with anger. But when she turned to face Shane, there wasn't anger in her eyes. All Shane saw was pain and hurt. "You always have an excuse."

"I know it seems that way." Shane walked into the living room, his strides still tentative as he chose to stop in the middle by the sofa, keeping a measured distance from Kim.

Kim looked at him incredulously. "It doesn't seem that way. It IS that way. You lock yourself in the study for hours and your excuse – I'm working on Bo's cases but even Bo disputes that," Kim argued, her voice rising uncontrollably. "I tell you Jonathan's coming to visit and you suddenly have to go out-of-town. Then you come home late with this implausible banking excuse. Maybe Jonathan bought it but not me." Kim's breathing was now hurried and she tried, without success, to steady it.

Shane looked down in defeat. "I don't know what to say."

"Just tell me the truth. I know something is going on and you're not telling me."

Shane looked up, astonished at her intuitiveness. "I promise you, there is nothing going on." His mind raced as he tried to think of another excuse to reassure her but he knew his options were diminishing. "Maybe it's the book tour being over and all the excitement that went with it," Shane floundered, grappling for any excuse that came to mind. "Maybe it's not being ISA anymore and I miss it more than I thought."

Kim shook her head and smiled before answering derisively. "Oh, you're good. ISA-trained and so good with excuses." Kim shrugged and sighed, her voice now tempered with defeat. "There is something you're not telling me and I can't take it anymore." Then Kim's tone became firmer as she started to walk from the window and declared, "I will not take it anymore. I'm done with lies and secrets."

Shane was filled with alarm as he recognized the determination in Kim's voice. He stepped towards the window blocking her way out of the room. "What do you mean 'you will not take it anymore'?"

"Just what I said. I'm done. I'm leaving."

Shane's alarm turned to terror as he grabbed Kim by the shoulders and pulled her to him. "Oh no you're not. I lost you once before and I'm not going to again.

Kim struggled in his arms, pushing against him as Shane kept repeating, "I can't lose you, I can't." With one final push, Kim pulled back, almost freeing herself from Shane's embrace. Then suddenly she stopped struggling, startled by the expression in Shane's eyes. There was pain in his eyes, a pain that matched her pain. But there was also a fear that Kim had rarely seen before. Startled, she paused for a moment and Shane's lips unexpectedly crashed into hers reigniting her struggles. But Shane held her tight, kissing her passionately until his kisses melted her anger. Kim's arms reached up and curled around Shane's neck, and her lips met his with a passion of her own.

Shane began a trail of kisses across her cheek and down her neck as he reached back and unzipped her dress. Kim no longer wanted to fight, her anger replaced by a fiery passion. Leaning away momentarily, their gaze never breaking, Kim stepped out of her dress and stood before him clad only in her black lace bra and panties. Shane's breath caught in his throat. He was always mesmerized by Kim's beauty. He slid his hands around her bare waist and gently pulled her closer to him.

Kim reached up and grasped the lapels of his jacket, then slid it from his shoulders letting it fall to the floor. Their eyes were locked on each other as her hands began working the buttons of his shirt. She moved slowly, unbuttoning one at a time, never taking her gaze from him. As each button was freed of its hole, his eyes only begged her to continue. When finished, she pulled his shirttail free and like the jacket before, slid the shirt from his shoulders, letting it fall into the heap on the floor. Their breathing was rapid and shallow, and Shane, unable to wait any longer, lifted Kimberly in his strong arms and carried her upstairs to bed.

**Kim and Shane's bedroom**

They lay quietly in each other's arms, the passion of a moment ago slowly dissipating, and in its place was now a contentment that enveloped both of them. Laying snug in his arms, Kim couldn't help but note that Shane's lovemaking had a warmth and richness to it that had for so long been lacking. Only at the last moment there had seemed to be a wall once again coming between them but even that had dissolved in the passion that came over both of them.

"I missed you," Shane said almost in a whisper and Kim, unable to explain why, was gratified by his words.

"I missed you, too," she replied simply and in that moment all the earlier anger was gone.

They talked for a while in hushed tones, the sound of intimacy between two perfectly matched companions. Kim told him of Jonathan's visit to Brady's Pub, meeting her parents and Shawn insisting on taking him out on his boat, which Jonathan bravely ventured even though he usually got seasick. Shane chuckled and for a moment forgot the strains facing him … seeing Eve, finding the letter, and knowing the person he needed to face tomorrow. Only when Kim spoke again, did it all come back to Shane, in a rush of unwanted emotions.

"Can you come with me when I drive Jonathan to the airport," Kim repeated because it seemed Shane didn't hear her the first time.

"If you don't mind," Shane answered, "I have some things I should have taken care of today … I hope you understand."

Kim didn't want to argue again, still warmed by their recent lovemaking. Even though she doubted his latest excuse, Kim replied, "Oh, no problem." Then, with a bit of caution in her voice, she ventured, "Something is wrong Shane. You know you can tell me anything."

Shane hugged Kim close to him. "Yes, I know I can." Then silently, to himself, he added, _"But this I can't."_

They lay quietly in each other's arms, allowing the silence to bring a calmness to them both. Soon, Shane could hear Kim's steady breathing and knew she had fallen asleep. He lay for a long time, hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. He thought back on the day and hated how he had been deceiving Kim. He knew this secrecy was putting up walls between them and he desperately wanted it to stop. Hopefully tomorrow he'd have some answers and then he could end this deception.

**Next Day**

Shane stood in the foyer waiting, as the butler went to the library to announce his arrival. Shane looked around and noted, from his vantage point, very little had changed since this house had belonged to him. It seemed a lifetime ago that he had moved into this house with Emma, trying to appease her and make her happy, when all the time he was hopelessly and devotedly in love with Kimberly. Eventually, realizing Emma's wickedness, he had given up the ruse of the dutiful husband and left this house and Emma forever.

Then Victor Kiriakis, a man with his own unsavory soul, had taken up residence here. It was as if the very walls of this house could not shed the evil that would always reside here. Shane heard footsteps in the hallway and then Victor turned the corner by the grand staircase and after so many years came into view, two adversaries once again facing each other.

"Shane Donovan, what a surprise!" Victor exclaimed, barely hiding his malice. "I had heard you returned to Salem … and with Kimberly. How are the two of you?"

Shane looked at Victor and studied him a moment before answering. He had aged quite a bit with stark white hair and his once towering stature now had a slight stoop. Still, his very presence demanded attention. As with all their previous encounters, Shane was not and would never be intimidated by him. From ISA reports that occasionally were passed to him, Shane knew and was frustrated by the fact that Victor had repeatedly sidestepped the law and eluded punishment for known crimes, and to Shane's chagrin, had even become a pillar of Salem society. This fact had caused Shane some consternation offset only by the small comfort he took from his role in once defeating Victor. It was in Miami so many years ago but his victory then was short-lived and it had come at a great expense to Kimberly. With this in his thoughts, it was not surprising he answered Victor with harshness in his tone. "How Kimberly and I are, is of absolute no concern to you."

"Ah, the bitterness is still there. Then I take it this is not a social call."

"Not in the very least."

Victor smiled sinisterly at Shane then led him into the living room. It had been a long time since Victor had faced such a worthy adversary. He moved across the room and stood by the fireplace while Shane chose to remain standing near the door. They faced each other like samurai ready to battle; all that was missing was the glint from their imaginary swords.

"So, if it is not a social call, why have you come?" Victor asked impatiently.

Shane was just as eager to dispense with these false civilities. "I want to know why you have contacted my daughter."

Victor raised his chin slightly and a thin smile drew across his face. What a fool Shane was, Victor thought to himself. He had entered the room thinking he was the hunter and Victor the prey but suddenly, still unbeknownst to Shane, the roles had reversed. Victor held the upper hand, a position he relished. "Who says I contacted your daughter? Did she tell you that?"

"No," Shane hesitated, "but I saw the letter in her apartment." Noting Victor's confidence, Shane grew uneasy with his reply.

Victor smirked triumphantly. "Yes, I did send your daughter a letter, but in response to her letter to me." Shane, as hard as he tried, could not hide the surprise from showing on his face. Ever since he had first seen that letter and recognized the unmistakable letterhead, all through his flight home and his lie-filled excuses to Kim, it had never occurred to him that Eve had contacted Victor. "I see I've surprised you." A smug smile spread across Victor's face.

Shane couldn't deny it. "Why would she contact you? Whatever about?"

"Shane, a word of advice, if I may. Never approach a confrontation without all the facts."

Shane stared grimly at Victor. As much as he hated to admit it, Victor was right. He had rushed into this room certain of his position and now found the tables turned. Resolved to still not give Victor an advantage, Shane firmly repeated his question. "Why would she contact you?"

Victor continued smiling. "That's right. Stick with the same question. Don't detour from the original plan. ISA basic training, right?" They stood and stared at each other, neither blinking. Then Victor shrugged, as if the answer to the question would do neither of them harm.

"She wanted to know about some nasty business during the Greek Civil War. Didn't your father ever tell you about his time in Greece?" Once again Shane was beset with surprise. Not that it involved nasty business. That he would expect from Victor. But his father had never mentioned any time spent in Greece. "From your expression, I can see your father never spoke of Greece to you."

"You knew my father?"

Almost dismissively, he answered. "Captain Andrew Donovan of His Majesty's Armed Forces. I hardly knew him." Then with disdain, he continued, "I mean I was insignificant, a mere lad from Salem, with not a penny to my name, returning to Greece with lofty ideas of helping my homeland in their time of need. Your father was so superior to me." He said the last words with contempt and then changed his tone, forcing conciliation into his words. "I think it's about time you learned of your father's experience in Greece, don't you think? Wouldn't you like to know?"

As much as he wanted to learn more about Victor's encounter with his father, Shane fought the temptation, determined not to lose his focus and fall into one of Victor's traps. "I'm not at all interested in anything you'd have to say about my father. But I do want to know what you've been discussing with my daughter."

Victor could see right through Shane's denial. "Rubbish! I believe you are very interested in what I have to say about your father. Oh, I remember him and his trusty friend … yes, your daughter mentioned him in her letter, too - Lieutenant Reginald Sinclair."

Shane's head shot up at the mention of Sinclair's name. He hadn't heard or spoken of Reggie in almost twenty years and now his name had come up twice – first in the ISA report about Drew that Halpern had shared with him and now with Eve's correspondence to Victor. Was it a coincidence or a connection, Shane wondered. He knew as much as he abhorred giving Victor any satisfaction, he needed to ask the next question. "All right, what can you tell me about Greece?"

"Well, it's been quite a long time." Victor waited a moment before continuing, hostility filling his eyes as the memory surfaced. "I hadn't thought about Greece until your daughter's letter. But it raised some questions that I'd like answered, too. Give me a few days to check my files. My memory is a bit foggy. In a few days I should have something to share with you. Then you may have some answers about your father … and your brother Drew." Victor added the last name to see what reaction he would get and he was not disappointed. Shane looked at him with narrowed eyes but said nothing. "In a few days I will call."

Shane reached into his pocket and drew a card to write down the private ISA cell phone number he had opened several weeks ago, one that Kim knew nothing about. "Call me at this number when you remember_._"

Victor took the card and smiled, realizing Shane was keeping secrets from Kim. "As I recall, you and I aligned the last time your brother Drew was in Salem. That messy business with Dimera and a damned secret of yours. I do believe you'd make a pact with the devil if it would serve you."

"I believe I am making a pact with the devil now." Shane couldn't mask his sarcasm.

Victor gave off a wicked laugh. "I once warned Kimberly that you were the worst thing for her. She didn't listen to me. Maybe if she had heeded my advice, she wouldn't have fled Salem all those years ago, wouldn't have stayed away from her loving family so long." Shane and Victor glared at each other, Victor's words stinging Shane's conscience. "I'll look into this affair and get back to you when I have something to share. It shouldn't be but a few days. Then we'll see who the devil is."

Driving home, Shane could feel the anger simmering in him, ready to boil over. He was angry at Victor but he was even angrier with himself. Shane had underestimated Victor, had allowed him to gain the upper hand. But he would never make that mistake again. Shane kept replaying all that Victor had said to him about his father and knew he needed to immediately research the ISA files for information about his father and Greece. He didn't want to be caught off guard again, no matter what Victor would tell him.

The thing that really irritated him was Victor's last comment about Kim. How dare he say Shane was the worst thing for Kimberly. Although the comment burned in him, Shane knew it was because there was some truth to it. He had hurt Kim before and not just once. Certainly there was the time after Miami, when Kimberly feared she was pregnant with Victor's child. Shamefully, Shane remembered how he had turned on her, convincing himself that it was Kim's secrets and lies that came between them, never admitting that it was his failure to protect her from a predator like Victor that really caused him to lash out at her.

Another storm brewed when Eve came into his life and Shane found himself wrongly torn between his newly found daughter and Kim. Looking back on it, Shane knew the choices he made then were unforgiveable. But nothing could compare with the infliction of pain he put upon Kim when he pursued her sister Kayla. Shane winced, as he always did, when he thought about this episode in his life. All other sins paled in comparison to this. There was no excuse, no easy remedy to dispel it from his soul.

The final breach occurred when he abandoned Kim just when she needed him most. He knew, intuitively, something was wrong with her when she returned to Salem, engaged to Phillip. He tried to convince himself it was a case of simple jealously that made him question her choices and behavior. But deep down he knew, as only he could, that something was terribly wrong with her. Even so, he left Salem, deciding he needed to leave if Kim was ever going to find happiness with someone else. He desperately wanted to return when the multiple personality disorder was diagnosed, but Caroline firmly advised him not to. "_She needs to battle these demons on her own if she is ever going to defeat them"_ were her exact words. _"Your coming back will only complicate the situation." _She urged him, instead, to take the children for awhile reasoning _"Kim won't want them to see her like this."_ So Shane heeded Caroline's advice, staying away against his better judgment. When Kim finally freed herself of past demons, Shane returned the children to her, and painfully watched as she and and his family began a life with another man.

Now he and Kim were finally together, making a life for themselves as they always wanted. But Shane didn't reunite with Kimberly, didn't bring her back to Salem and her family, to bring Victor back into her life. No, if Victor was somehow involved in this sordid mess, then Shane needed to keep Kimberly out of it. He would have to continue this charade of his even if it meant walls coming up between them again.


	27. Chapter 27

Shane threw his pen down and ran his hands over his face letting his chin come to rest in the palm of his right hand. He stared at the screen of the new Macbook Pro he had purchased soon after his visit with Victor. It was a feature-packed computer that amazingly weighed less than 7 pounds and measured less than 1 inch thick. Shane tore his eyes from this featherweight powerhouse and looked around his library letting his gaze settle on the door that once led to his ISA communications room. Years ago that room had been filled wall-to-wall with all the latest technology, barely having enough space to house all the equipment required to really accomplish genuine research. Now it was a near-empty storage room with a few boxes stacked against the wall. Shane shook his head at how things had changed. All the security and information that the cluttered communications room once provided was now available in this wafer-thin laptop that Shane had been staring at the last few hours.

Security was the main reason Shane had bought this new computer. He remembered the eager young salesman at the electronics store and how he had enthusiastically gone on and on about all the features, proudly showing how the computer offered instant social networking, easy picture storage and near-professional movie making capabilities. Shane listened politely knowing there was really only one feature he was interested in. After his visit with Victor, Shane had genuine concerns about security and computer hackers getting into his files. He no longer trusted ISA-issued hardware or software and just hoped he could trust the security he had set up on this computer.

From the door of the now-extinct communications room, Shane let his eyes roam around the room, swiveling in his chair until his gaze rested upon the black and white portraits of his parents sitting on the shelf behind him. He first looked at his mother's picture with her welcoming smile and kind, friendly eyes – eyes that everyone, for as long as Shane could remember, commented were so similar to his. Even Kim, when she had seen these portraits on her first visit to Donovan Manor so long ago, had noted the very same similarity between Shane and his mother. Then Shane shifted his gaze from his mother's picture to his father's. There, captured for all eternity, were his father's intelligent eyes and stern expression that hid the gentle and compassionate soul Shane knew his father possessed. Shane leaned back in his chair and remembered how much his father was admired by all who knew him and how proud Shane was of his father. Now, looking at the portrait, Shane thought to himself, _"What does Victor know about you…."_

After contemplating that question for a moment, Shane turned back to the computer. He blinked once. The computer screen was getting blurry and Shane didn't know if it was from lack of sleep or lack of information.

Victor had not gotten back to Shane within the few days as he had promised. He hadn't even gotten back to him after a week. Now it had been almost two weeks since their conversation. Shane grudgingly had to concede that Victor had surprised him when he announced he had known Shane's father. Shane remembered how Victor had sneered triumphantly, knowing he had caught Shane off guard, implying there was some dark, sinister secret surrounding his father, behavior usually associated with someone the likes of Victor. As much as Shane wanted to talk to Victor again, he resisted the urge to contact him. He knew this tortured waiting game was just the kind of mind game Victor liked to play and Shane was determined not to give Victor the satisfaction of calling him. Instead, Shane decided he would wait patiently for Victor to contact him.

Besides, Shane had reasoned, he could use the time and all the resources at his disposal to uncover any information he could about his father and Greece before Victor contacted him. He would not be caught unprepared by Victor again. But what he did find, or rather didn't find, was surprising. There was absolutely no mention in any ISA or MI6 files that his father had ever been in Greece during the Greek Civil War. Initially relieved, Shane concluded Victor had probably just been bluffing. But he couldn't be sure. Victor was a cagey, crafty nemesis. Shane knew him well enough to know he always chose his words carefully and dispensed information even more carefully. As much as he hated to admit it, Victor would never try to unsettle Shane with false information. It was just not Victor's style. And Shane couldn't overlook the mysterious letter that had originally led him to Victor – his daughter Eve had contacted Victor for some reason still unbeknownst to him.

With this tugging at his mind, Shane knew he needed to keep reading ISA reports, searching for some fact, no matter how small, that would hint at what his father was doing during the time period Victor mentioned. Shane hated depending on Victor for information but all his sources were leading to dead ends. If nothing else, Shane wanted to be prepared for whatever Victor would eventually tell him. But as he researched further, there was one disturbing fact which he couldn't dismiss. That was why he was up this late at night waiting to make an overseas video call.

It was late, well after 2 a.m. Kim had gone to bed hours ago and Shane was aching to join her. He needed to feel her in his arms, her soft body resting against his, her steady breathing calming him. It had been almost two weeks since that awful fight when Kim, finally fed up with Shane's behavior, had threatened to leave. And Shane knew she would have left him. He couldn't blame her either. His lies were mounting and they were no longer believable, at least not to Kim, the one person who knew him so well.

That night he had desperately held on to her as she struggled in his arms, determined not to let her go. Shane still didn't know what happened but suddenly her struggles ceased. Since that night, Kim had been complacent, as if accepting defeat. Shane could only guess what had gone through her mind but suspected that she knew if she left that night, she would never come back. And Shane was grateful Kim had chosen the more difficult course, chosen to stay and accept his distant and secretive behavior. In the days that followed, she no longer questioned Shane and a shaky peacefulness had settled between them.

Besides, much of Kim's time was now taken up with making plans for Jeannie's high school graduation. Kim was thankfully preoccupied, making flight and hotel arrangements, as well as being constantly on the phone with Jeannie and parents of Jeannie's friends making pre- and post graduation celebration plans. Shane was looking forward to the event-filled graduation weekend, remembering how Jeannie had asked him to attend. It was last summer – the summer of their reconciliation – when the secrets that had kept them apart were finally revealed. That one request, to attend her graduation, had been a first step in filling the gulf that had grown between them and Shane had eagerly and earnestly promised to attend. He thought back on how he and Jeannie had continued to make so many strides to repair their damaged relationship this past year. Shane knew nothing Victor could say would keep him from attending Jeannie's graduation. Nothing, he thought confidently.

Thinking about Jeannie and her secrets and remembering how it had almost destroyed them, Shane thought how he couldn't wait for the day when he would finally be able to share his secrets, let Kim know everything. But first he had to find out what his crazy long-lost brother was up to, what forces he had aligned himself with, and what, if anything, Victor had to do with it. Until that day, Shane had to hold fast to his secrets, but he knew that day couldn't come soon enough.

He looked at his watch again. Ten minutes more and then it would be 8 a.m. her time and he could make the call. Maybe Peachy knew something about his father that wasn't in the files.

Shane never really had a clear idea how well Peachy had known his father. He knew she was in the MI6 for a short while before joining the ISA. He also knew from comments she made to him that she had, at least, met his father. _"Oh, you're just like your father laddie" _she would often say. Now, certain Victor would contact him any day, Shane wanted to know exactly what Peachy knew about his father.

Finally, the clock on his computer blinked 3 a.m.

He tapped in the numbers on the keyboard and waited while the computer chimed a countdown and then the video call was answered.

There on the screen was Peachy, his once indispensible partner, now relegated to a nursing home in Manchester, her body giving way until a broken hip finally sealed her fate. But even if her body had failed her, one could see from the sparkle in her eyes that her mind was still sharp.

"Oh laddie, it's so good to see you. It's been quite some time, you know."

"Yes, Peachy, it has been awhile. Entirely my fault." Shane made a mental note to call her more often once this mess was cleaned up. "Not to make excuses but I've been very busy with Kim's book tour and moving back to Salem."

Peachy's eyes lit up, as they always did, when Shane mentioned Kim. From the very first time she had met Kim, on an undercover assignment disguised as an Italian chef working in Victor's mansion, Peachy knew Kim was the one – the only one – for Shane. Peachy was thrilled when Shane had told him that he and Kim were back together. "How is Kim? I miss you two so much. You really should come visit," Peachy admonished again. "I would visit you if I could."

Chastised, Shane replied, "I know you would. And we will visit – soon."

"Andrew was here last week. Looking more and more like you everyday … and acting like you, too." Shane was happy to hear that his son had visited her. Peachy had always been more like a grandmother to his children and that had given him much joy, especially since Andrew and Jeannie had never known his parents. "You know, he is thinking of joining the ISA," Peachy confided to him, her tone taking on a conspiratorial hush.

Shane grimaced at the notion. Andrew had casually mentioned that same idea the last time they had talked and even then, Shane had been upset at the prospect. Shane had sacrificed too much for the ISA and he definitely did not want that kind of life for his only son. But Shane had held his tongue, keeping his opposition to himself. As parents, both Shane and Kim had always taken pride in how they allowed their children to make their own choices and decisions. Shane never thought he would change that attitude but this notion of Andrew joining the ISA was possibly too much. Shane was torn as to what to do and had clung to the hope that it was just a passing idea and Andrew would soon forget it. But if Andrew had mentioned it to Peachy, then he was probably serious and Shane would once again have to struggle against the urge to meddle in his son's affairs.

"Shane, did you hear what I said? Andrew wants to join the ISA."

"Yes, I heard," Shane mumbled, unable to hide his displeasure. "He already told me and I'm not happy about it, not at all. I haven't even mentioned it to Kimberly. I can only imagine how she will feel."

"Now, now laddie, we need good men in Intelligence. The ISA could use a smart fellow like Andrew."

"Yes, USE! That's the definitive word," Shane shot back, his voice rising uncontrollably. "Just like they used me. I sacrificed too much for that organization and I don't want my son to make the same sacrifices."

"Well, it may not be your decision," Peachy replied calmly, knowing Shane well enough not to let his outburst upset her

With that comment, Shane knew Peachy was right. If this was a path Andrew was determined to take, nothing Shane could say would make a difference. But he should at least make Andrew aware of the dangers he would face which brought Shane back to the reason he had called Peachy.

"Peachy, I want you to know that Drew has surfaced."

"Drew … your brother?" Peachy's eyes grew wide with astonishment.

"Yes, he's alive after all these years."

"Oh my," Peachy replied worriedly before realizing something. "Where has he been all this time?"

"That's just it Peachy, I don't know. He's surfaced but he hasn't contacted me or the ISA." Peachy listened attentively as Shane continued, "Most recently, he was spotted in Toronto. But originally, it seems, he had been following me and Kim during her book tour. And he has actually spent quite a bit of time in your backyard – Derbyshire."

"Derbyshire?"

"Yes, that was where he first appeared. Near where Sir Reginald Sinclair lives, my father's oldest and dearest friend. I believe you knew him, as well."

"Ooh, I never liked that fellow. Way too haughty. I never understood how your mother could have been with him."

"My mother and Reggie?"

Peachy bit her lip. "Oh laddie, that was a long time ago. Anyway, it ended once your mother met your father. Now there was a man who didn't need a title to command respect. Everyone admired your father, even Sir Reginald. There was absolutely no class distinction when it came to your father. He would walk into a room and everyone wanted to talk with him, from the highest ranked officer to the person in the field. Yes, your father was highly respected. They don't make them like that anymore. Except maybe you. You remind me so much of your father. "

Shane smiled at the comparison, enjoying Peachy's description of his father. Then he remembered why he had called and his smile faded. "Peachy, what can you tell me about my father's service during the Greek Civil War?"

"The Greek Civil War? I don't believe your father was in Greece at that time." Peachy replied as matter-of-factly as she could but Shane, the trained specialist that he was, detected a slight guarded tone in her reply and he wondered if she was hiding something.

"Well, Victor Kiriakis says he was."

"Kiriakis? What does he have to do with anything?

So Shane recounted all the mounting secrets and information he had compiled since first learning Drew was alive. Her eyes opened wide at the news of Sinclair withdrawing a large sum of money from his family's estate, Shane's visit with Eve and finally the letter that ultimately brought him to Victor.

"Victor is just bluffing, Shane," Peachy concluded, almost angrily.

"I considered that. I clung to the idea that Victor was lying, through every file I read, every lead I followed that said my father was not in Greece. But there was one fact I couldn't overlook," Shane took a deep breath before proceeding. "There is absolutely no mention of my father during this entire time period. No record of him being assigned anywhere. It's as if he didn't exist for nine months."

Peachy cast her eyes downward and paused before answering, choosing her words carefully. "Shane, it was a long time ago. Records can get lost or misplaced." She paused again and looked at Shane's eager, waiting expression. Even through the hazy distortion of the video screen, Peachy could perceive Shane's desperate need to know. Pushing aside her private reservations, Peachy reluctantly continued, "What I can share with you needs to be told in person. You need to come and see me."

Shane sighed deeply, relieved at last to finally have a lead and from someone he could trust. "Can't you tell me now? This line is secure," Shane reassured Peachy though he questioned the security himself.

"No, what I need to tell you needs to be told in person, face-to-face." Peachy spoke firmly and Shane sensed there was no reason to argue with her.

"All right, I'll come. I have Jeannie's graduation this weekend and then I'll come directly to England."

"And bring Kimberly."

He frowned at the request. He had succeeded so far in keeping Kim out of this mess that Shane wasn't sure bringing Kim was a good idea. But he also realized he probably couldn't plan another secret trip without once again raising Kim's suspicions. And that meant possibly reawakening her determination to leave. It just wasn't worth the risk. Shane's mind was already conjuring up some plausible reason he'd give Kim for going to England as he agreed to Peachy's terms. "Fine, we'll both come. Plan on seeing us by Tuesday."

"Good laddie, by Tuesday." Then Peachy disconnected the call and Shane was left looking at a blank screen.

**Later that morning**

"Hey sleepyhead, are you going to be in bed all day?" Kim tossed a pillow across the room as she entered the master bedroom. The pillow hit Shane in the shoulder, rousing him from the first night of restful slumber he could remember having since learning Drew was alive. After talking with Peachy and finally getting a hint that all his questions would soon be answered – and from someone he trusted – Shane had tiredly climbed the stairs to go to bed. It was almost dawn but he was eager to sleep even if it was only going to be a short nap.

He crawled into bed next to Kimberly, pulling her into his arms as he settled into a peaceful sleep. Now he found it disrupted by the one person he loved the most. As she approached the bed, ready to toss another pillow at his head, Shane reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her into an embrace. "Hey, none of that, I'm sleeping" he teased as he fought to pull the pillow from her grip.

Kim playfully struggled in his arms, repeatedly trying to strike him again with the pillow but Shane held fast, pinning her arms down until her struggles ceased. Victorious, Shane leaned down and kissed Kim, first tenderly and then more passionately. As his kisses moved across her cheek and down her neck, Kim felt herself responding to Shane's ministrations. "I thought you wanted to sleep," she said breathlessly.

"Not anymore." Shane and Kim smiled at each other knowing what the rest of the morning would bring.

**Noon, Km and Shane's bedroom**

"I think we should get up." Kim broke the silence that had settled over the room.

"No, I think we should stay in bed all day," Shane pronounced triumphantly and Kim noted a contentment in his voice that had so long been missing. After so many months of secrets and distractions, Kim felt the old Shane was finally returning. Maybe it had been the right decision to stop nagging and plying him with questions. It had taken every ounce of reserve to give him space but now seeing Shane so content, Kim knew she had made the right choice.

What she didn't know was that Shane's contentment sprang from his conversation with an old friend. Since that talk, Shane had been trying to think of excuses for visiting England and taking Kim with him. He knew it wouldn't take a lot to convince Kim to go to Donovan Manor, he just didn't want to raise her suspicions about a hurriedly planned trip unnecessarily.

"Kim," Shane started to broach the subject of visiting England, "I was thinking we should visit Donovan Manor after Jeannie's graduation.

Kim's eyes opened wide, surprised at the suggestion. "You mean straight from LA? You've been so preoccupied with Bo's cases, I figured you'd want to get back to Salem as soon as possible."

"I've been too preoccupied." Shane welcomed the excuse Kim had unwittingly given him. "I could use some time away… I need some time away. A little R&R at Donovan Manor with you is just what I need."

Kim was too pleased at the prospect of going to Donovan Manor with Shane to suspect any other motives for the trip. Maybe the old Shane was back, Kim thought. And Donovan Manor, the place where they had first proclaimed their love for each other, would be the perfect setting to tell Shane she had changed her mind about marriage. "Oh Shane, I think it's a wonderful idea." Kim quickly kissed Shane as if to seal the deal but Shane deepened the kiss and hugged Kim close to him. "None of that," she teasingly admonished as she struggled to break the embrace. "I have to go and make new travel arrangements."

She slid out of his arms and grabbed her robe before happily scampering out of the room, leaving Shane smiling as he stared after her. It was good to see her so happy again but even better; it was good to feel this contented again. Yes, going to England to see Peachy and taking Kim along was a good idea, Shane concluded.

**Two days later**

"Shane, did you lock the windows in the guest house?" Kim brushed past Shane as she hurriedly entered the living room.

"Yes, all locked up."

"How about the terrace doors?" She asked as she double-checked the windows overlooking the garden.

"Those, too. Kim, everything is secured," Shane said impatiently. "What are you so nervous about?"

"We're going to be gone for so long, I want to make sure everything is locked."

Shane feigned a fake French accent as he grabbed the luggage and headed for the front door. "Everything is locked, Madame."

Kim pointed at the luggage Shane was dragging towards the door. "Did you pack your blue striped shirt, the one you got in Dallas?"

"Yes, I packed the blue shirt, the red shirt , the yellow shirt… we're all packed." His voice was firm but his eyes twinkled as he remembered Kim was always like this on the book tour. "I'm putting the luggage in the car and then I will recheck every single window," Shane conceded with a hint of sarcasm.

"Good!" The corners of Kim's mouth turned up slightly as she looked after him.

"Oh, that worman will drive me crazy," Shane mumbled to himself as he headed out to the driveway. Just as he reached the car, his cell phone beeped. He looked at the screen and frowned. "Damn it." The call he had been waiting so long for now came at the most inopportune time. He drew a deep breath before answering. "Yes …"

"Shane, I'm glad I reached you. I had heard you were heading out-of-town."

Shane sighed at Victor's comment, wondering if the timing of the call was calculated. "Yes, I am going out-of-town. As a matter-of-fact, I will be heading to the airport shortly."

"Good, then you can stop here first," Victor pronounced, as if his request had no hindrance. "I have some information for you. What I had promised."

"That was almost two weeks ago!" Shane couldn't hide his anger.

"Yes, I know. But there were some things I needed to check. It took longer than I first anticipated." Victor's voice remained calm and controlled.

"Well, now is not a good time to meet," Shane responded coolly.

"That's too bad. I do believe you'd be very interested in what I have to share."

Shane put the luggage aside and glanced quickly at his watch, quickly calculating how much time he needed to make the flight to LA. "All right, I'll stop by but I don't have very much time."

"It won't take very long. I will be waiting." Shane detected a note of triumph in Victor's voice before the phone call was disconnected.

Shane finished loading the luggage in the car before hurrying back into the house to face Kim. He found her sitting on the sofa looking over their itinerary. "Kim. I have an unexpected errand I need to run. You go on ahead to the airport and I'll meet you there."

She turned to face him, narrowing her eyes in disbelief. "An errand? You'll miss the flight."

"No, I won't. We have plenty of time." Shane tried to sound as reassuring as possible but even he knew the timing was tight. "The luggage is all loaded. Just head to the airport and I'll be there shortly."

Kim stood to her feet and Shane could see the disappointment spread across her face. "Shane, if you miss this flight … Jeannie will never understand. Tonight's dinner is so important to her."

He put up his hands to stop her protests. "I won't miss the flight and I won't miss tonight's dinner. But I need to go now."

Kim's voice grew quiet as she accepted defeat. "Fine, I'll see you at the airport."

"I'll be there in time, I promise," Shane called back as he rushed out the door.


	28. Chapter 28

Shane again glanced at his watch then looked once more in his rearview mirror. That had been his routine for the last fifteen minutes, ever since the patrol car pulled him over for speeding. Shane had contemplated showing his ISA badge and disclosing he was on official business but decided against it. The last thing Shane needed was one of Salem's finest going back to the precinct and telling others about an ISA agent in Salem. He knew that would arouse Bo's suspicions. No, a low profile was better, Shane decided, even if it meant waiting.

Finally, the uniformed officer stepped from his car and ambled back towards Shane's car. Did police intentionally move slowly when they stopped someone for speeding, Shane wondered. Reaching Shane's car, the police officer leaned in the window and handed Shane the ticket. "Let's slow down there Mr. Donovan. There are a lot of children in this neighborhood."

Shane tried to sound contrite and hide his impatience as he took the ticket from the officer. "Yes, of course, officer. I'll keep a better eye on the speedometer."

"You do that." The officer tipped his hat and then headed back to his patrol car.

Shane tossed the ticket in his glove compartment and turned the ignition, then slowly crept back into traffic. It was only a few more blocks to Victor's estate and Shane knew he needed to go the speed limit. He couldn't afford another fifteen-minute delay.

Shane glanced at his watch once more and figured Kim was now heading to the airport herself. If he limited his conversation with Victor and didn't have any more unexpected delays, Shane knew he'd still get to the airport in time for his flight.

That was the problem. Anything Victor might say could cause an unexpected delay. That was what most concerned Shane as he drove up the drive and parked in front of Victor's home. He didn't like entering a conversation without a clue of where it might lead but this time he had no choice. Shane knew the minute Victor called, he had to meet with him even if it meant missing his flight. Shane just hoped it wouldn't come to that.

As soon as Shane pulled the key out of his ignition, a man from Victor's security detail quickly appeared. He was a muscular fellow in an expensively-tailored suit and Shane remembered how all Victor's bodyguards were always well-dressed. He gave Shane the once-over, as if realizing he didn't need to frisk him before saying, "Mr. Kiriakis is waiting for you in the library." He led the way into the house and Shane followed.

"Ah Shane, I'm so glad you could make time to meet with me." Victor's tone was smug as he greeted Shane. "Can I get you a drink?

"You know I don't have much time. So why don't you tell me what information you have that you're so sure I'll be interested in." Shane was trying desperately to have the upper hand with Victor.

A small smile crept across Victor's face. "Of course. Now let's see. The last time we met you rushed in accusing me of contacting your daughter," Victor reminded Shane, as if making certain Shane would know that he, Victor Kiriakis, would always be in control. "That was when I surprised you with the fact that I knew your father."

"Nothing you say ever surprises me."

"Well we'll see, won't we?" He motioned toward an oversized damask covered wing chair and Shane reluctantly sat down. Victor settled into the sofa opposite him before continuing. "As I said, I met your father in Greece, during the Civil War th-."

"There is no record of my father being in Greece during the Civil War," Shane interrupted.

Victor ignored Shane's comment. "I was just a teen and had decided to return to Greece, to help my homeland in their fight against communism."

"That was very noble of you," Shane said sarcastically, knowing Victor never did anything if there wasn't something in it for him.

Victor ignored Shane's comment and continued. "I had no money, no attachments to keep me here in Salem. In Greece, I was assigned to a small town in the Peloponnese that had been a Nazi stronghold during the war. My contact was a Greek nationalist named Stavros Augustopolos but the British were the ones still in command. They hadn't entirely abandoned Greece yet."

Victor noticed Shane stiffen when he mentioned the British. "There was fierce fighting between the forces of the Greek government and the communist fighters, both intent on having this small insignificant town. I didn't understand it. There seemed to be no strategic purpose until Stavros took me to a cave in the mountains outside of town. There I saw what all the fighting was about."

Shane leaned forward, intent on not missing a word of what Victor had to share. "Hidden in this cave was $10 million in Nazi gold along with some very valuable artifacts and antiquities the Nazi's had pillaged from surrounding towns. One particular artifact, Apollo's Orb, had caught my eye. I looked at my friend Stavros and now understood why this town was so important. Three days later the Greek nationalists defeated the communists."

Shane was growing impatient realizing there was barely any time left to make his flight. "Again, what does this have to do with my father?"

"He's the one who took the gold." Victor replied matter-of-factly.

Shane's eyes grew wide at this accusation. "As I said, he wasn't even in Greece. There is absolutely no record of him being there."

"No ISA or British MI6 record," Victor conceded as he reached for a manila folder. "But I have my own record." Victor pulled an old photograph from the folder and handed it to Shane. "I suspected you would question my account so I contacted my friend's family. That was what took so long. Stavros has died but his son still lives in that same little town." Nodding at the photograph, now in Shane's hand, Victor remarked triumphantly, "That is my record. We took the picture after our victory. The church in the background is St. Gregory of the Peloponnese. Any geography book will confirm the location."

Shane turned the aged black-and-white photograph over in his hands. It was grainy and the edges were tattered but the images were unmistakable. His eyes widened in disbelief. There were about 20 men grouped together, most Greek peasants with rifles slung over their shoulders. They were gathered in front of what was obviously a Greek Orthodox Church. Shane immediately recognized Victor, squatting near the edge, a red bandana tied around his neck. There in the back, surrounded by these triumphant peasants, standing tall and erect in his British uniform, was his father.

Sensing that Shane had identified his father, Victor added with a sneer, "And of course, we insisted our commanding officer be in the picture."

Studying the photo further, Shane noted Reggie Sinclair standing next to his father and then was surprised to see a figure squatting near Victor.

"Ah, I see you have found George Nickerson in the photo." Again, Victor's tone took on a triumphant air. "Yes, Miami was not the first time Nickerson and I were on the same side. Of course, from your perspective it was the wrong side. But then, we all have different points of view."

Shane tried to shake the sinking feeling that was now settling over him. "This only proves my father was in Greece. It is a huge leap to conclude he took the gold. Many people must have known about that gold. As you said, that was why this little village was so important."

"True. But only Stavros and your father knew where it was hidden."

"And you," Shane corrected accusingly. "Maybe the entire Kiriakis Empire was started with that gold?"

Victor laughed sinisterly. "I was very poor back then. It would have taken enormous resources to move that gold, resources I did not have. Anyway, why would your daughter contact me, hinting about possessing this gold if I had it all along?"

Shane looked up at the mention of his daughter. So Eve knew about the gold. And if Eve knew, did that mean Drew had the gold? It all didn't make sense but something in Shane's gut told him Victor was not lying. As much as he hated acknowledging that, Shane knew he had to go with his instincts. "All right. My father was in Greece. You knew him. Now why are you so sure he took the gold?"

"Three days after the victory over the communists, your father was called back to London."

"The British were pulling out of Greece around that time."

"Yes, that's true," Victor conceded. "But the timing of your father's departure cannot be overlooked. That, plus he knew where the gold was hidden. Then, all record of your father being in Greece disappears. And now your daughter contacts me about the gold. A coincidence? I don't think so."

Looking once again at the photograph, Shane asked, "Can I keep this?"

"Of course. I have copies."

As Shane tucked the photograph into his breast pocket, Victor added, "I don't care about the gold. I have all the money I need. What I want is Apollo's Orb. My friend Stavros died never being able to return the Orb to Greece. I want to return it for him."

Shane patted the pocket he had just tucked the photograph in and looked at Victor as a realization struck him. As much as Shane despised the thought, he knew he would have to work with Victor, or at least form an alliance with him, if he was ever going to discover the mystery of his father's role in Greece. As this thought settled over him, Shane looked at his watch and realized he had very little time to get to the airport.


	29. Chapter 29

"So that sounds like quite an estate you own there, Shane."

"Hmmm … it's adequate. Certainly not huge by British standards." Shane had been dodging questions about his wealth for the last hour. But this buffoon, Walter, who he had the misfortune of being seated across from, finally wore him down and Shane had inadvertently revealed the size of Donovan Manor. That had certainly piqued his dinner companion's attention and Shane dreaded what further questions it would bring.

He looked helplessly down the long table to where Kim was sitting, flanked by Jeannie on one side and Sharon, Kim's good friend from her California days and with whom Jeannie had stayed to finish school, on her other side. Shane tried to get Kim's attention, his eyes begging for help but Kim's quick glance confirmed Shane's worst fears – _You're stuck where you're sitting so make the best of it_ – before returning to her own conversation. Defeated, Shane reluctantly turned his gaze back to his boorish companion. As he droned on, Shane's thoughts drifted back to earlier in the day.

_Shane realized that as much as he disliked the idea, he needed to work with Victor if he was ever going to be able to solve the mystery of his father's role in Greece and what, if any part, it had in this missing gold. He had to concede that as much as he wanted to attribute the missing gold to Victor, Shane couldn't overlook his daughter Eve's knowledge of the gold and that meant his brother Drew could very well be involved too._

_After slipping the tattered photograph into his jacket pocket, Shane turned to Victor. He loathed being beholden to the man but he had to ask, "Can you arrange a meeting with this Augustopolos fellow and me?"_

_"I'm sure something can be arranged," Victor replied with a smile that was more sinister than friendly._

_"Good," Shane said, his voice tight. "I will be heading to London in a few days and I will contact you then."_

_"Remember, it's the Orb I want. I don't give a damn about your father or the gold. What I want is to return Apollo's Orb to the Greek people, for my friend Stavros."_

_"I understand," Shane said tightly before looking at his watch once more and realizing there was very little time to make his flight. Reluctantly, Shane accepted the offer of Victor's driver taking him to the airport with the assurance that the driver would later bring Shane's car to the airport parking ramp._

_It was a good thing Shane had accepted the ride because not only was time tight but the airport was extremely busy with spring travelers. It still took a while to get through the checkpoints even with Shane's first class status and security clearance. Once through, Shane raced through the airport terminal, weaving between slower passengers until he hurriedly reached his gate._

_Catching his breath, Shane saw Kim standing and looking worriedly out the window. "Kim …"_

_Kim turned and smiled broadly, momentarily forgetting her anger that he took this most inopportune time to follow up on some lead in a case he was working on. It was just another example of his distorted priorities. But for the moment, Kim's relief at seeing Shane far outweighed any lingering anger or suspicions she still possessed._

_"Oh Shane, finally! They're just about to announce 'Last Call.' Did you take care of whatever was so important it couldn't wait?" Kim asked, letting a bit of anger creep back into her voice._

_"All taken care of," Shane said feeling the photograph he had take from Victor in his breast pocket. "Let's go see our daughter graduate." Shane put his arm across Kim's shoulders as they walked down the jet way to board the plane_.

That had happened early that morning and no matter how hard he tried, Shane could not shake what Victor had said out of his mind. Not even seeing his daughter could push the thoughts aside.

Jeannie had met them at the airport and Shane was once again struck by how beautiful a young woman she was turning into. She looked so much like Kim with long blond hair that cascaded down past her shoulders and Shane remembered for a moment how Kim looked when he first met her at a Halloween party so many years ago.

After getting their luggage, they had hurried to the hotel and checked into a bungalow suite. The larger accommodations provided enough room for Jeannie to stay with them the night giving them plenty of time to catch up. Considering how much Jeannie was talking, the suite had been a good idea. Jeannie talked excitedly, just like a girl on the brink of adulthood.

She talked about that night's graduation dinner with all her friends and their families, the next day's commencement, and her post graduate trip to South America. Shane smiled occasionally at some of Jeannie's comments but he couldn't stop his mind from wandering back to what Victor had told him and the photo that rested in his jacket pocket. Then Jeannie's voice grew quiet and in an almost hushed tone she said, "I just wish Andrew could have come for the weekend."

Shane looked across at Kim who reached over and stroked Jeannie's long curls. "I know honey. We all wish Andrew could be here. But you know Andrew – always on the move. I'm sure he's thinking about you."

"Come on sweetheart, let's not allow Andrew's absence spoil our celebration," Shane concurred. "I understand I have a slew of your California friends to meet. Now be honest, am I going to be too uptight and British for them?" Shane asked trying to bring levity back to their conversation.

Jeannie smiled and jumped across the room to settle next to Shane on the sofa, leaning in for a hug. "No, you are the perfect father and I am so happy you are here."

For a moment Jeannie's heartfelt words made Shane forget the turmoil he was facing. Returning the hug, he turned to a beaming Kim and said, "I think we better get ready for dinner, then."

Now sitting across from Walter, Shane realized any concerns he had meeting Kim and Jeannie's California friends were unfounded. But this fellow was really getting tiresome and Shane felt helpless in finding a way out of conversing with him anymore.

But Walter was unrelenting with his nosy inquiries. "So your family never had to open that castle of yours to the public."

It's not a castle, it's a manor. There is a difference," Shane replied no longer trying to hide his annoyance.

Ignoring Shane's comment, Walter continued, "I heard a lot of you rich Brits had to open your castles – excuse me, I mean manors – to pay for their upkeep. Especially after World War II."

Walter's last comment caught Shane's attention. It was something he had never considered but did his father have a hard time maintaining Donovan Manor? Had he needed money after the war for its upkeep? Shane knew the Donovan portfolio was now solid and secure but how was it years ago, after the war? Shane couldn't help but wonder especially after all Victor had told him.

Pushing those thoughts aside, Shane turned to Walter and said firmly, hoping to end any further inquiries, "My family has done just fine."

"Well, Shane my boy…" Shane cringed at Walter's expression. "If you ever want to invest, I can hook you up with some very lucrative bonds."

Ah, so that was what all this nosing into his business and personal affairs was about. Now Shane could see clearly how Walter had maneuvered to sit near him just so he could make a sales pitch. As Walter was reaching across the table to hand Shane an unsolicited business card, an unexpected voice from behind broke in.


	30. Chapter 30

After dodging questions about his finances all evening, Shane finally realized his unwelcome dinner companion was simply a junk bonds trader. Shane had absolutely no interest in doing any business with this boor and was so irritated by how he had spoiled his dinner, Shane wasn't even sure he could muster enough manners to politely dismiss him. Fortunately, he was saved by an unexpected voice from behind him.

"Looks like I got here just in time," the voice boomed.

"Andrew!" Jeanne squealed as she jumped up from her chair and rushed to greet her brother. Shane glanced down the table at Kim and saw her rising as well before turning around in his chair and seeing his son standing by the door to the private dining room the group had reserved.

As soon as Andrew finished hugging his sister, Kim was in his arms giving her son a motherly hug. Shane, relieved to finally escape Walter's sales pitch, quickly stood to embrace Andrew as well.

"Andrew, this is such a surprise," Kim gushed. "We thought you couldn't make it."

"I didn't think I could make it either." Andrew squeezed Jeannie's shoulder. "But I wouldn't want to miss my little sister's big day. Besides, once I start ISA training, I'm not sure when I'll have a chance …"

Kim was shocked at Andrew's words and interrupted him. "ISA training? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, um, I thought you knew," Andrew stammered. "I figured Dad would have told you. I joined the ISA."

Kim immediately cast an accusing look at Shane. Before she could say anything, Shane jumped in. "Whoa! When we talked Andrew, nothing was ever final. There was absolutely nothing to tell your mother."

Not accepting his excuse, Kim glared at Shane and seethed, "But you knew he was thinking about it and still you didn't tell me."

Noting the tension between Kim and Shane, conversations at the dinner table stopped and Shane was acutely aware that all eyes were on him and Kim. "Let's talk about this later." His voice was firm and Kim realized any discussion would have to wait. "Come on Andrew." Shane motioned towards his chair. "Sit down and let's get you some dinner." Shane turned around to make room for Andrew at the table but felt Kim's penetrating gaze upon his back.

An uneasy quiet filled the car on the ride back to the hotel. Jeannie and Andrew sensed the unfamiliar tension that now existed between their parents. Andrew was silently kicking himself for not sharing his ISA aspirations with his mother. But he knew, just like his father knew, that Kim would not have been happy with his plans and so had cowardly avoided telling her. Andrew realized he had actually hoped his father would smooth the way by breaking the news to her first, but apparently that hadn't happened.

Now that his ISA plans were out in the open, Andrew hoped the damage it caused between his parents was not irreparable. Both Andrew and Jeannie knew how much their parents loved each other. But they also knew enough about their parent's relationship to know that they too often allowed obstacles to get in the way of their happiness together. Andrew just hoped his joining the ISA wasn't one such obstacle.

As they pulled into the hotel parking lot, Andrew broke the uncomfortable silence engulfing the car. "You can drop Jeannie and me off at the lobby Dad. I'll get another room and then Jeannie wants to show me the club here at the hotel."

Jeannie shot Andrew a questioning look and Andrew gave her a confirming nod. Jeannie quickly caught on to the ruse. "Yeah, Dad. There's a band playing there that I think Andrew would like."

Neither Kim nor Shane was fooled by their children's attempt to give them time alone. Kim was still seething and Shane knew that they needed to talk this out. He welcomed Andrew and Jeannie's faintly veiled excuses.

Pulling up to the front lobby, Shane shifted the car into park and turned around to face his backseat passengers. Andrew was almost out of the car before he spoke. "Okay you two. Now Jeannie, you have a key to the bungalow?"

"Yes Dad." She flashed the electronic keycard to her Dad as she slid across the seat and followed Andrew out the door.

Andrew leaned down and looked into the passenger window. "We won't be late. Just want to check out this band Jeannie's been raving about." He spoke across his mother who sat stoically staring straight ahead. Shane took the comment as a suggestion he shouldn't put off talking with Kim.

Shane nodded to Andrew and put the car back in drive, then circled through the hotel parking lot until he pulled into a spot near their bungalow. Kim silently got out of the car and walked alone to the door, using her own keycard to let herself in. Shane sighed deeply before following her inside.

When he stepped into the bungalow, Kim was standing at the window looking out into the darkness. The tension in the room was palpable.

"Kim …"

Kim cringed at the sound of her name and clutched at the windowsill.

"Nothing was definite when Andrew told me his plans," Shane began slowly. "I was hoping it was just a passing idea. You know Andrew."

Kim was silent for a few moments before she turned and met Shane's gaze. "Of course I know Andrew. I'm his mother." Almost laughing, Kim continued. "I'm just his mother, certainly not someone who needs to know his plans especially if they will affect the rest of his life."

"Oh Kim," Shane shook his head and pursed his lips before proceeding. "I wanted to talk to Andrew again before I said anything to you. I wanted to make sure this was a path he really wanted to take." He ran a hand through his hair, frustration clearly evident in his eyes. "I didn't want to upset you if it wasn't something Andrew was going to pursue. I just wanted to make certain he had really thought his decision through before I said anything to you."

"So when would that have been?" Kim snorted.

"Kim, Andrew's plans weren't definite." Shane paced in front of Kim, stopping to put his hands on her shoulders, as if he could shake some sense into her.

"Sounds pretty definite to me."

"Yes, now it is. But at the time … Kim, I wasn't trying to keep anything from you," Shane said in exasperation. "I'm not any happier about this than you are." He dropped his hands to his side helplessly.

"Oh really," Kim replied with disbelief. "Come on Shane. Your son's following in your footsteps. I'm sure you're thrilled he's decided to join the great ISA, protector of the world."

"That's not fair!" Shane snapped. "This is certainly not a path I would have chosen for him. I know very well what the ISA cost me ... cost us. But if this is something he wants to do … if he is determined to join the ISA, I don't think there is anything you or I can do to change his mind." He searched her face looking for some sort of agreement but only saw anger.

"Not now but maybe if I had known …"

"All right, I should have told you," Shane exhaled sharply. "I thought there was still time to talk to Andrew – to talk him out of it – and avoid upsetting you. I'm sorry but I am not going to keep rehashing what I should have done. We're just going to have to accept it."

"Well I'm not sure I'm going to accept it," Kim turned away, her voice rising in an unaccustomed shrill.

A prolonged silence settled over them as Shane contemplated Kim's anger. "I'm not going to argue about this anymore. What's done is done." Shane grabbed his overnight bag, glanced once more at Kim who, in the momentary silence had turned back and was now glaring at him, and then headed up the stairs to the suite's main bedroom.

Kim was left clenching and unclenching her fists, wrestling with a whirl of emotions as she watched Shane climb the stairs.


	31. Chapter 31

It was well past midnight when Andrew dropped Jeannie off at the bungalow suite. They had talked quite a bit about Andrew's plans and Jeannie knew he regretted not telling their mother. They even laughed that he was brave enough to face anything the ISA could bring but not brave enough to face his own mother.

It didn't surprise Jeannie that Andrew would want to join the ISA. Whereas Jeannie resented the intrusion the ISA made in their lives and how it always seemed to take their father further and further away from them, Andrew had always idolized their father and was proud of his position with the ISA. No, it didn't surprise Jeannie at all. What astonished her was that her mother really seemed surprised at Andrew's plans.

Jeannie opened the bungalow door and quietly stepped into the room. It was dark and Jeannie figured her parents had a long talk and, finally accepting Andrew's decision had gone up to bed. Relief spread through her at the thought of her parents avoiding another obstacle in their relationship. She turned towards the door to her room and was startled to see her mother sitting in the dark on the sofa. Her overnight bag was opened and it was obvious Kim had changed into her nightgown and robe down here.

"Oh, you startled me." Jeannie looked around the room for her father and then realizing he wasn't in the room, turned back to Kim. "Did you and Dad talk?"

"Yes, we talked," Kim sighed. "Andrew has made his decision, your father knew about it, and I just have to accept that your father didn't think I needed to know."

"Mom, you know that's not true," she objected earnestly. "Dad would have told you once he knew Andrew was really going to join the ISA. Even Andrew admitted to me that nothing was definite when he talked to Dad. Besides," Jeannie reasoned, "nothing you or Dad could say would have changed Andrew's mind."

"I still would have liked to have known."

Shrugging, Jeannie tried one last attempt to get through to her mother. "He didn't want to upset you. He loves you so much."

Smiling at how she defended her father, Kim reached over and grasped Jeannie's hand. "You better go to bed. You have a big day tomorrow and we all need to wake up early."

"What about you?" Kim could hear the worry in Jeannie's voice.

"I'll go to bed soon. I just want to sit down here a little while longer."

Jeannie paused for a moment, trying to think of something more to say that would make her mother understand. Coming up with nothing, she leaned over and kissed Kim good-night before she reluctantly headed to her room and closed the door.

Kim heard the latch on the doorknob click and once again the room was engulfed in silence. Kim knew Jeannie was right but wasn't yet ready to let go of her anger. As she had done since Shane had gone upstairs to bed, her mind replayed all the arguments in her head.

If Shane knew or even suspected Andrew was joining the ISA, he should have told her. Kim had a right to know. But then, if nothing was definite, Kim could understand Shane not wanting to upset her. It was so like him to do everything he could to prevent her from being upset. Shane had just wanted another chance to talk to him, Kim conceded to herself. It wasn't his fault that Andrew had joined the ISA in record time. Besides, in the end, Kim realized no matter what she or Shane would have said, Andrew would have still joined the ISA.

Slowly the jumble of thoughts in her head cleared and Kim felt her anger dissipate. "Oh Andrew," she whispered to no one, "I wish your father and I could get you to realize all that you're sacrificing." But knowing that wasn't possible, Kim tightened her robe and headed up the stairs.

As Kim stepped through the door of their bedroom, she could hear Shane's steady breathing and knew he was asleep. She slipped into bed beside him and instinctively, his hand reached for hers. There would be no need for any further words between them. Instead, a calmness settled over both of them as another crisis had been averted. Knowing this, Kim drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

**Next Day**

Kim, Shane and Andrew found seats together near the front of the crowded auditorium. Jeannie had departed earlier, after taking family pictures on the promenade steps outside the auditorium before having to rejoin her class inside for the formal commencement march.

Andrew noted with relief that the early morning family breakfast had been filled with excited chatter. His parents had seemed genuinely happy. Andrew dreaded thinking that his joining the ISA would be the cause of any rift between his parents.

A comfortable ease had settled over them but Andrew was troubled that Kim still had not acknowledged or even mentioned Andrew's ISA aspirations with him. Before breakfast, Shane had told Andrew it was best not to talk about it until after Jeannie's graduation weekend. Although it was now accepted, Shane warned that his joining the ISA was still a difficult idea for his mother – and for that matter, him – to embrace.

The music started and a hush settled over the auditorium as all heads turned to watch the graduates march in. Kim and Shane beamed as Jeannie passed their row and sneaked a quick wave at them. For a moment, Shane was overcome with emotion. For so long he never imagined he could have a moment like this with his family. It had always seemed out-of-reach. A shiver shot through his body as Shane thought how the whole mess with Drew and Victor and now the mystery surrounding his father could somehow end all this happiness that had taken them so long to achieve.

As if sensing Shane's uneasiness, Kim reached over and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. He looked over at her and seeing her calm expression, Shane silently vowed to himself that nothing would ever break apart his family again.

After several speeches and the perfunctory applause that followed, the music started again and the students rose, row by row, to receive their diplomas. As each student marched towards the school dignitaries, the respective parents snapped the obligatory photograph to capture the moment. Jeannie's row had just risen but with Jeannie towards the far right, Kim knew she had plenty of time to assemble the lens on the camera. Always the photographer, Kim had forgone the quick one-click digital cameras favored by the other parents, preferring her bulky SLR long shot camera with its variety of lenses.

"Hurry up with the lens. She's almost to the podium," Shane urged before out of the corner of his eye, on the other side of the auditorium, he saw a familiar figure rise. "Dammit."

"I'm working as fast as I can." Kim replied hurriedly, thinking Shane's comment was directed at her. "I just need this to click into place. There, I got it." She looked up at Shane but was surprised to see him looking intently across the room, in the opposite direction of the podium. Following his gaze, her jaw dropped as she too saw the familiar figure standing, smiling sinisterly in their direction. "Oh my God. Shane, it can't be …"

Never taking his eyes off Drew, Shane struggled across Kim and then Andrew, who thankfully was sitting at the end of the row. Stepping into the aisle, he started running towards Drew. Kim watched in disbelief as Drew gestured towards her, as if tipping an imaginary hat at her, before ducking out a side door.


End file.
